Monday, February 20, 2012

Kill Shot Courtney Kills Them With Sarcasm

Top 10 Kill Shot Courtney Quotes:

Should I bend over and take it up the tailpipe?!

Who knew that strippers could play baseball!?

Maybe she drank too much and the Jersey Shore came out.

Blew my panties off!

Winning! Winning! WINNING!

I almost just want to rip her head off and verbally assault her. Or shave her eyebrows off in the middle of the night...

I'm a nice person. Don't $#@% with me!

Winning! I got a rose and you don't!

I saw you talking to Whatsherbutt!

How'd that taste coming out of your mouth?


Quotes from my He Said/She Said section of past Bachelor Ben Blogs from this Blog...

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Bachelor Ben Funnies

Here's a round-up of some things I've been bookmarking and not putting up here at the Blog due to a busy schedule, but I wanted to get these out there. First, is the Auto-Tuned Courtney which is funny, especially when Prince Pino Benny Boo pops up here and there. The second is the Ellen clip which is hilarious!

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Bachelor Ben Episode 7 - Kill Shot Courtney, Terry the Tarantula & The Hamburlgar Walk Into a Bar...

If I was a Tarantula named Terry I'd want to know why all these people are trampling all over my damn Mayan ruins and I'd conjure up a sacrifice! You better Belize this week on The Bachelor was AMAZING. Between Kill Shot Courtney, Larry the Lobster and the Hamburglar's 4AM wake-up call, it was Un-Belize-Able! For reals!

My favorite moment? When Kill Shot Courtney got the final rose and skipped to the lou all the way back to smirk at Emily and then rammed that rose up her Tailpipe. I think that's what happened anyhow, I was having too much fun with my pina colada and my paper umbrella...


These two! Who makes the weirdest face!? Vote top right...

Oh $#!@! I think I sat on Terry the Tarantula!

I apologize and then she acts two-faced again...

Oh man! I think Terry the Tarantula got rammed up my tailpipe!

Who the hell is Terry the Tarantula!?

False Alarm! It was just my paper umbrella!

You're like 5! Seriously!?


Polka dot Bikinis

Ben's new haircut. Styled by the un-Belize-able wind!

I'm sensing a striped theme here...


A striped tank top. You better Belize there are more to come--it was a 3/$10 sale a the STRIPES R' US BARN!

These ill-fitting white pants that apparently Kill Shot Courtney took some scissors to...

This STRIPED tank top. With a tiny POCKET! WTH!?

The caked on make up look. Not so much!

Mixing a striped hoodie with plaid shorts?! That might get you thrown in the clink if the fashion police were around!

ANOTHER tank top?! The grey brigade is baaaaack!

Tramp Stamps. Ugh!


Who knew? Courtney's a shark!

Lindzi's afraid of heights!

Ben is so spontaneous...

Ben likes his women weird. Okay...


"I couldn't be in a more perfect place right now." -BEN

"Unfortunately I'm sharing it [Fancy Villa) with 4 other girls and a shark. Courtney likes to sleep a lot. And then gets up an attacks. And then goes back to bed. And you never really know when the next bite is coming." -EMILY

"HOLY $#!%#@!!$! I just jumped out of a helicopter. That's crazy!" -LINDZI

"I do Belize in love..." -EMILY

"Fairy tales are magical." -LINDZI

"It would really make my day if he sends Emily home." -COURTNEY

"Easy Peasy." -BEN

"I really liked him." -COURTNEY

"If I do not get a one-on-one this week, I will not be accepting a rose from Ben." -COURTNEY

"That %$#@!$% B----! It took ever fiber of my being to not spring across the room and punch her in the face!" -POTTY MOUTH KACIE

"SNAP! I'm excited!" -COURTNEY

"I lost the spark Babe!" -COURTNEY

"She's like a black widow and she just sucks the life out of everything." -KACIE ON COURTNEY

"SNAP girls! Show's over. You can all go home. Pack your bags!" -COURTNEY

"Bang Bang! Bang Bang! Kill Shot!" -KILL SHOT COURTNEY

"I don't want to get cocky..." -POT KETTLE BLACK COURTNEY

"I'm not impressed by these women. Or these girls. I don't even think they're women." -COURTNEY

"She's just like a little girl in a little boy's body." -COURTNEY ON KACIE

"We want you to be cautious about Courtney." -NICKI

"Tread lightly..." -KACIE ON COURTNEY TO BEN

"Well I'm feeling good to lighten the mood a bit. I've got a pina colada. I'm in Belize! Had a relaxing daaaaay! OH MY GOSH! Soooo good when it hits your lips!" -COURTNEY

"Let's liven it up. Let's get this party started!" -COURTNEY

"Ben is not the only guy in the world." -COURTNEY

"I'm ready to get rid of some girls tonight. They're driving me crazy. Like aaaahhh! I wanna rip my hair out!" -COURTNEY

See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!" -COURTNEY

"My condolences to whichever man you end up with." EMILY TO COURTNEY

"Ladies. Ben. This is the final rose tonight. When you're ready." -HARRISONCREST


Lindzi and Ben

Memorable Moments:

Ben makes her think of kids and marriage. Awe!

The blue hole. Is this a metaphor?!

Jumping out of a helicopter into a 500 foot hole? Let's put the girl who's afraid of heights on this date... Classic!

They write a fairy tale and send it off in a bottle. Some castaway on a deserted island will soon find it and gag!

Once Upon a Time there lived a Prince named Storm Horse and he was tragically jinxed to walk the land dateless until one day a wizard named Fleiss and his jester Harrisoncrest promised him a lifetime of love on some TV show called The Bachelor. He met some chicks and this one shark named Courtney bit off his cajones and stuck them into her lock box and all's well that ends badly! Or something like that...


Emily and Ben

Memorable Moments:

The ladies wish Emily will have an Un-Belize-able day. Gag!

Ben decides to play chicken with Emily's plane until he ducks at the last minute. Wuss!

Biking around Cay Caulker. Drinking out of a coconut. Playing basketball? Um...Amazing?!

They can't Belize they hooked their own lobster dinner. I can't Belize it either...

Sorry Larry the Lobster, Benny Boo is sending you to Tummy Town tonight! Whoo!


Courtney & Ben

Memorable Moments:

A Mayan Temple from 100BC! Holy Amazing Batman!

COURTNEY: "Is this where they did the human sacrifices?"

Queen Courtney pulls out a spiffy fan. Ben doesn't get the hint so she sighs and rapidly fans herself and she blows the spark out Babe. Or something like that...

They Belize in soul mates. Awe!

Courtney and Ben adopt Terry the Tarantula. She likes that he's hairy like her Benny Boo!

Courtney tells her Benny Boo she's bored by the other women--girls really. He fears ending up with someone that no one likes. HINDSIGHTSABITCH!


Rachel, Nicki, Kacie and Ben

Memorable Moments:

A 4am wake up by the Hamburglar! Ha Ha!

What's a girl to do when she has like 5 minutes to get ready for her date? Shave the pits and the inner thighs apparently...

3 cheers for Ben's gray tank top and to shark diving! But enough about Ben's date with Courtney...

After a cheery lesson on how to ward off pesky sharks, they let the chum rip!

Rachel is afraid of sharks. Shocking, right?!

Miss Marple and Nancy Drew warn Ben about Courtney. He's as clueless as a Hardly Boy...


Kacie, Nicki, Lindzi aaaand Courtney.


RACHEL: "Rejected. Disappointed. Sniff...Sniff..."

EMILY: "In disbelief. Wish I could take back the whole thing with Courtney...I hope there's enough time left for Ben to see who she really is..."


When you're crying over a guy you've barely spent a few hours with, you might just need a reality check! (NICKI)

Is he really worth falling into a 500 foot hole? Because there are plenty of other fish in the sea... (LINDZI)

Fairy tales may be magical but welcome to Prince Pino of Bachelorville a.k.a. Reality Bites B----!" (LINDZI)

Make an eternal promise with your woman to always be honest and truthful--minus past skinny dipping indiscretions of course... (BEN)

Learn to sit like a lady so you don't show the world your hooha! (LINDZI)

If only your boyfriend didn't have 5 other girlfriends, it would be a per-fact day! (EMILY)

Nothing says romance like hooking your own lobster! (BEN & EMILY)

Crying about not getting a one-on-one and threatening to leave the show will get you on a plane back to the states--unless you're Courtney! (COURTNEY)

You're not on top of the world girlie, it's the beer talking! Not to mention the beer goggles... (EMILY)

A date card can mean he didn't forget about you and you might be the one. Or, maybe he knows how easy it is to get your clothes to come off... (COURTNEY)

You can get rid of a black widow spider by smacking it between your hands! (KACIE)

If he likes his women weird, then if you're weird, it's game over! (COURTNEY)

There's nothing like a Mayan Temple to help you leave the hurt and pain behind.. (COURTNEY & BEN)

When you pull out the pretend kill shot antics, those other girls better pretend watch out! (COURTNEY)

When the other women don't take the time to get to know you, there's probably a reason... (COURTNEY)

Hindsight's a BITCH! (BEN)

When you only have a few minutes to get ready for your date at 4am in the morning, don't forget to shave your pits! (RACHEL & NICKI)

If you come face to face with a shark, punch it in the nose! (BEN)

When you sign up to be on The Bachelor and they ask you what your fears are, tell them champagne, diamonds, and cute puppy dogs! (A SMART GIRL)

When you start talking to palm trees, seashells and the ocean, it's time to cut you off. No more mojitos for you! (NICKI)

When you opt for a flower in your hair, pick one that's not sporting an erection. Total distraction... (KACIE)

When in Belize, play with your umbrella! (COURTNEY)

When other girls make you want to rip your hair out, it's time to call your therapist! (COURTNEY)

A girl that will let a tarantula crawl all over her just might be a creeper! (COURTNEY)


Friday, February 10, 2012

Bachelor Fan Merchandise at Cafe Press

Bachelor Fans!

Cafe Press has an agreement with Warner Bros Entertainment Inc. to allow merchandise for sale among shop owners within confines of The Bachelor Fan Portal Merchandise Rules between Cafe Press & Warner Bros Entertainment, Inc.

I decided to create some fun items in the Bachelor Fan Shop that you can purchase to show your Bachelor Spirit! Whether you are on Team Ben or just find the Journey to be Amazing, fans of The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, & Bachelor Pad will enjoy the selection of Bachelor theme items featuring slogans, phrases and catchy lingo from our favorite reality series! Check out 5 Signs You May Be Addicted to The Bachelor - we're here to help!

Whether "I Love The Bachelor" or "Here For the Wrong Reasons" suits your style, you'll be sure to look AMAZING :-) There are 17 different images you can get on a wide variety of products.

Take a JOURNEY through the various categories in the shop to find tees, hoodies, and other apparel plus jewelry, mugs, totes, bags of various kinds, buttons, magnets, drinkware, and lots of other goodies. They may just be the MOST DRAMATIC purchase you've ever made!

Perfect for quirky gifts and viewing parties.

See some samples below and as the season progresses, I'm sure they'll be a few zingers to add to the mix: