Wednesday, June 13, 2012

If You Don't Have Emily's Back, Get The %$#@ Out!


But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun Y'all...

5 RANDOM THOUGHTS:

Kalon thinks a being with Emily and her daughter is like a group date. I think being with Kalon's ego is like being on a group date in hell. Booooo!


Are those Cowboy Boots!?

Why don't they show actual footage of Kalon saying Ricki is baggage!? Hmmmm....

Does Emily give back presents to guys she doesn't keep?



Who is Alejandro!?

THAT'S HOT:


Sparkly dresses!


Nurse Dougie - It really softens his HULKness!

THAT'S SOO NOT HOT:


WTH?!


Skinny Mustard pants. Not so much!
















RED pants! What, was Ames this season's stylist?!

5 AMAZING MOMENTS:


Sean offers to carry Emily's purse and does it in a manly way. Awe!


Troublemakin' Ryan gives Emily her favorite Bling!


This Saying: West Virginia Hood Rat Backwoods On His Ass. I'm not sure what that means, but I have a feeling it's pretty A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!


Dessert at The London Eye

I'm amazed that Emily was able to walk all over London in 5" heels! Ouch!

5 LAME MOMENTS:


Soap Box Love Chat by Sean. 

Kalon tells Emily she can just run along so he can rehearse. For reals!?


Tea Etiquette with Jean - Yo Pass the crumpets!

These dudes doing Shakespeare. He's rollin' in his grave somewhere yonder!

Emily hood rat harassing the guys for not having her back. Cough! Blame Producers! Cough!

 THINGS WE LEARNED FROM 
BACHELORETTE EMILY
EPISODE 5


When London calls, you should answer! -SEAN

Nothing says romance like...London! -BACHELOR TOURISM DEPT.

Good looking guys are usually boring. -EMILY

If he offers to carry her large purse, he's a keeper! -SEAN

A "macho dumbass" wouldn't know Shakespeare! -WOLFNER

Shakespeare is like reading a foreign language. -ARIE


Your braid should never be prettier than hers! -NURSE ARIE


A stage kiss while acting doesn't count! -RYAN

Never insult a woman's child or she might rip your limbs off and beat you with them! -KALON

Being a tattletale can really shut down a party--bummer! -DOUG

If you don't have her back, you're not her dream guy! -ALL THOSE SUCKERS!

You should always keep an eye on the smooth ones! -RYAN


10 DOWN TO 8:

Sean, Jef, Doug, Ryan, Chris, John, Travis, and Arie.

LEAVING WITH THEIR EGOS SHATTERED:

Kalon and Alejandro.

KALON: "Did I say baggage?! I meant that there's only 2 kinds of baggage--lost and carry-on! Or something like that..."

COMING UP NEXT WEEK...

Our girl broods in Croatia over some dorks!

Jenn:)

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