Bachelorette Emily has lost and found love and lost it again but she's ready. Totally ready to find love again!
We're introduced to the 25 dudes who'll be vying for her affection and my initial thought is that bach/ette casting must have saved a few bucks on traveling around and just went to Gold's Gym, Joseph A. Banks Big & Tall, and the Bachelorette Gags Comedy Barn. Just sayin'!
FIVE RANDOM THOUGHTS ABOUT EPISODE 1:
I think a Bobblehead Bachelorette season might be even more AMAZING!
Who cast Fabio's neighbor!?
Helicopters are sooo yesterday! Next show, someone should mix it up a bit and arrive by tricycle!
A guy and his ostrich egg will soon be parted when some drunk guy decides to mosh pit with it!
What's giving me chills? Was it the final rose ceremony's dramatic music or was it Chris Harrison reminding us it was the final rose tonight? Hmmmm.....
TOP 2 MOMENTS FROM EPISODE 1:
Jef rides in on a skateboard. And then chucks it into the bushes! Either totally AMAZING or seriously CHEESY. Haven't decided yet...
This note was clever! Good call!
TOP 5 CHEESY MOMENTS FROM EPISODE 1:
When Joe exits his limo screaming "EMILY!" while scampering about like he's just drained the limo bar. So cheesy!
Dancing with a boombox. That's like sooo 80's! And with a name like MC Stevie, this has to be cheesy!
BIG FAIL. Grandma Randy! So CHEESY!
Ostrich Egg Travis. Humpty Dumpty will soon fall...
The arrival of Erica with a Disco Stick via Helicopter. CHEESY!
THINGS WE LEARNED FROM
BACHELORETTE EMILY - EPISODE 1:
"You gotta just put on your big girl panties and move on with it!" -EMILY
"I have you have 2 thumbs you could possibly marry Emily. Unless you're THIS guy!" -TONY
"Guys I want babies! is probably not a good speech for a first date. Maybe by the third date...or not!" -EMILY
You can impress a single mom with the fact that you're a single dad!" -DOUG
"Life's not measured by the number of breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away." This cheesy pick-up line takes our breath away and not in a good way! -JACKSON
Nothing says sexy like a pair of disturbingly large poindexter glasses! -AARON
When someone speaks a strange foreign language, sometimes you just have to counter with...um..."Gracias!?" -EMILY
It's always fun and exciting to bring your HAIR to the party! -JEF
If the shoe doesn't fit, you must acquit! Or something like that... -TONY
Carrying around an ostrich egg may get you lots of ribbing from the dudes. Cause it's WEIRD! -TRAVIS
Arriving by helicopter is either really cool or really d-bagyy! -KALON
Scaring her with the titanium plate in your head is maybe not the best call... -CHARLIE
Pictures of your six kids are probably a deal breaker. That's about 5 kids too many to start off a relationship... -BRENT
Heels and cobblestone don't mix. -EMILY
A sweet letter from your son will score you points with a single mom! -DOUG
A young dude's dream come true--a minivan full of babies?! On this show, hell no! -EMILY
25 DOWN TO 19:
Doug, Chris, Ryan, Kalon, Arie, Charlie, Jef, Nate, Sean, Joe, Kyle, Aaron, Alejandro, John, Alessandro, Michael, Stevie, Tony, and Travis.
LEAVING WITH THEIR EGOS SHATTERED!
Jackson, Lerone, Brent, Randy, Jean-Paul, David.
BRENT: My SIX KIDS will be sad I didn't come home with a new momma for them!
JACKSON: Yo-I'm going back to the GYM!
COMING UP NEXT WEEK...
Emily will probably kiss Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy will likely snarf down Travis' ostrich egg!