Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Bachelor Pad Finale - 30 Things We Learned


1. Jackie and Ames are broken up. She's clueless as to why. Could it be the red pants?!

2. She couldn't get out of bed for a week after he broke up with her. He says they're two different people. Seems fishy....

3. Kasey's biggest goal coming in was to be there longer than MAVDORK Jake.

4. Vienna claims closure with Jake but no one's buying it.

5. Everyone in the house thinks Vienna was nasty to Jake during the filming.

6. Jake was one of America's favorite bachelors!? News to me...

7. We get to relieve the Jake hate from Vienna Motel 6 & Kasey Kermit in a lovely video montage.

8. Gia's got bangs!

9. Erica's still sporting her crystal disco stick! And she's apparently a judge of some sort...

10. Jake is still spinning the yarn about coming on Bachelor Pad to make things right with Vienna. That's his story and he's sticking to it!

11. Kasey apologizes to Mavdork for saying the stupid things he said. Then they have a bro-hug. Awe!

12. We get to relive Kasey as the ringleader making an ass of himself and Vienna numerous times in a lovely video montage.

13. Kasey admits to having a speech impediment. Which would explain why the boy needed subtitles to be understood during filming.

14. The game turned Kasey into something he wasn't. Or something like that...

15. That house is evil--it's broken Kasey!

16. Bottom line to Kasey, "She's Vienna!"

17. We get to relive a very smarmy Blake vs. Melissa vs. Holly video montage!

18. Blake reveals he brushes his teeth for...2 minutes! For reals!

19. We wax nostalgic about the semantics of "serendipitous" - Awe!

20. Blake speaks in military terms when talking about Melissa taking "classified files to the enemy" and "rallying the troops" against him. Okay...

21. Melissa: "Clearly I do not do well on reality TV!" Doh!

22. There's just something about Holly!

23. Everyone gets a bombshell with Holly and Blake's proposal!

24. Holly drops a bomb on Michael who requests a water or a commercial break. Whichever!

25. Graham is rockin' the Orville Redenbacher look...

26. Graham is not a huge fan of Blake!

27. Michael throws out a "love you Blake" when his vote goes to him and Holly!

28. Some of the girls and dudes think Michael should screw Holly out of her half by choosing KEEP and they wouldn't blame him for doing it!

29. Can Michael trust Holly? Michael notes that weddings are expensive last time he checked...

30. Michael and Holly both choose Share and split the $250,000.00. Totally anticlimactic...

How the votes went down:

Jake - H/M, Vienna - M/G, Kasey - M/G, Blake - H/M, Erica - H/M, Melissa - M/G, William - M/G, Jackie - H/M, Ames - H/M, Justin - H/M, Ella - H/M, Gia - H/M.

PS: Vienna got a nose job. Ella got a face transplant apparently. Good grief!


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