Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Bachelor Pad Finale - 30 Things We Learned


1. Jackie and Ames are broken up. She's clueless as to why. Could it be the red pants?!

2. She couldn't get out of bed for a week after he broke up with her. He says they're two different people. Seems fishy....

3. Kasey's biggest goal coming in was to be there longer than MAVDORK Jake.

4. Vienna claims closure with Jake but no one's buying it.

5. Everyone in the house thinks Vienna was nasty to Jake during the filming.

6. Jake was one of America's favorite bachelors!? News to me...

7. We get to relieve the Jake hate from Vienna Motel 6 & Kasey Kermit in a lovely video montage.

8. Gia's got bangs!

9. Erica's still sporting her crystal disco stick! And she's apparently a judge of some sort...

10. Jake is still spinning the yarn about coming on Bachelor Pad to make things right with Vienna. That's his story and he's sticking to it!

11. Kasey apologizes to Mavdork for saying the stupid things he said. Then they have a bro-hug. Awe!

12. We get to relive Kasey as the ringleader making an ass of himself and Vienna numerous times in a lovely video montage.

13. Kasey admits to having a speech impediment. Which would explain why the boy needed subtitles to be understood during filming.

14. The game turned Kasey into something he wasn't. Or something like that...

15. That house is evil--it's broken Kasey!

16. Bottom line to Kasey, "She's Vienna!"

17. We get to relive a very smarmy Blake vs. Melissa vs. Holly video montage!

18. Blake reveals he brushes his teeth for...2 minutes! For reals!

19. We wax nostalgic about the semantics of "serendipitous" - Awe!

20. Blake speaks in military terms when talking about Melissa taking "classified files to the enemy" and "rallying the troops" against him. Okay...

21. Melissa: "Clearly I do not do well on reality TV!" Doh!

22. There's just something about Holly!

23. Everyone gets a bombshell with Holly and Blake's proposal!

24. Holly drops a bomb on Michael who requests a water or a commercial break. Whichever!

25. Graham is rockin' the Orville Redenbacher look...

26. Graham is not a huge fan of Blake!

27. Michael throws out a "love you Blake" when his vote goes to him and Holly!

28. Some of the girls and dudes think Michael should screw Holly out of her half by choosing KEEP and they wouldn't blame him for doing it!

29. Can Michael trust Holly? Michael notes that weddings are expensive last time he checked...

30. Michael and Holly both choose Share and split the $250,000.00. Totally anticlimactic...

How the votes went down:

Jake - H/M, Vienna - M/G, Kasey - M/G, Blake - H/M, Erica - H/M, Melissa - M/G, William - M/G, Jackie - H/M, Ames - H/M, Justin - H/M, Ella - H/M, Gia - H/M.

PS: Vienna got a nose job. Ella got a face transplant apparently. Good grief!


Bachelor Pad Episode 6 - Bob Bummer & Debbie Downer Kick Rocks!

Things We Learned From
Bachelor Pad - Episode 6 - Finale

When you have trouble choosing between your boy toy and your ex still in love with you, it shouldn't bee too big of a shocker that your ex is mad at you... (HOLLY)

Anyone who rises up out of a stage in fog must be a badass. Just sayin'. (HARRISONCREST)

Never let your fears lose a challenge for you! (VIENNA)

To win, you have to remove emotion from your game play. (HOLLY)

When your boyfriend is obsessed with guarding and protecting hearts, everything is going to be about hearts. Hearts this, hearts that. Blah Blah Blah. (VIENNA)

Try to act positive and strong so you don't freak your partner out! (GRAHAM)

When you find childbirth easier than climbing a wall, better get the heck off that wall! (ELLA)

Never trust a harness! (ELLA)

When you find love on the Bach/ette you too can be a future judge! (TRISTA/JASON/ALI)

Sometimes doing your best is all you can do. (ELLA)

Playing for 2nd is a really good sell! Or not... (VIENNA & KASEY)

Sometimes a muzzle for your boyfriend would be in order! (VIENNA)

Barefoot against a wall with a beer. Is this hitting Bachelor Pad rock bottom?! (KASEY)

It's not about money, Bachelor Pad is about friendship! (GRAHAM)

Too much alcohol & angry feelings=one hot mess. Lay off the sauce! (GRAHAM)

Selfishness and selflessness--it's hard to reconcile these two when $250,000.00 is on the line! (MICHAEL & HOLLY)

Payback's a bitch! (KASEY)


1. A spiffy trip to Vegas. Vegas baby!

2. Harrisoncrest's rising up out of the foggy Vegas stage.

3. KA--the challenge!

4. That Michael and Holly chose wisely in the end. Even if they didn't know it...

5. Michelle's nude high heels!


1. When the girls screamed when the spikes shot out of that huge levitating wall. Wusses!

2. The girls not conquering their fears! Bye bye $250,000.00!

3. Kasey vs. Vienna a.k.a. Bob Bummer and Debbie Downer and their constant bickering. Gag!

4. Graham acting the fool when drinking it up and spouting off like a 3 year old.

5. Vienna and Kasey's self-serving exit interview.


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Bachelor Pad Episode 5 - Bachelor Pad is a Mansion, NOT a Trailer Park!!!!

Things We've Learned From Bachelor Pad - Episode 5

Acting kind of bitchy is more of a female trait, no? (GRAHAM)

Smelling your finger is not an attractive quality. (KASEY)

Knowing someone a long time doesn't mean you know jack about them. (KASEY & VIENNA)

A prearranged code for winning a challenge does the trick in a pinch! (GRAHAM & MICHELLE)

Red hot pants and yellow heels? Don't try this at home girls! You too Ames! (MICHELLE)

When you brag about your IQ being 177 and you fail miserably in a quiz, people might think you like to make up crap! (KASEY)

When your partner would like to sleep with someone else, she's probably not that into you! (MICHAEL)

When your name rhymes with snake, you might just be a fake! (BLAKE)

It's sad when no one likes you. Whaa! (BLAKE)

Simmering sexual tension can explode. (ELLA)

"No means No." (VIENNA)

Bachelor Pad is a mansion, not a trailer park! (ERICA)

Being blinded by love can lead to poor game play. (MICHAEL)

Watching a movie in a hot tub is amazing! (GRAHAM)

Nothing says horny like a set of pink lingerie. Or something like that... (ERICA)

When you're stuck with what you've got, make the best of it! (BLAKE)

When you get three sheets to the wind, you do things you regret. (KIRKY)

When in a mission, explore with candles! (BLAKE & ERICA)

An astrologer named Herb is kind of like an Herbalist named Astro... (ERICA)

A romantic connection can strengthen your partnership. Or not... (ERICA & BLAKE)

Sometimes too much bonding is not in your best interest... (BLAKE)

When he's a man and she's persistent, what do you expect? (HOLLY)

Sometimes you should follow your intuition. (ERICA)

If you're having trouble seducing a man, he's probably not that into you! (ERICA)

Getting a rose is OK, but getting a freakin' rose is exciting! (KASEY)

Kissing another guy in front of your ex who is still in love with you is in poor taste! (HOLLY)

Don't violate Man Code! (BLAKE)

It's not about who deserves the money it's about who has earned the right to the money. (MICHELLE)

When she doesn't have your back, why should you have hers? (MICHAEL)


1. When Kasey and Vienna failed miserably at the NEARLY-wed game and she ripped him for his supposed 177 IQ. Ha. Ha.

2. Michael saying he wanted to punch Blake in his perfect little dentist teeth. Tee hee!

3. Seeing a movie in a hot tub--fun!

4. Exploring the mission by candlelight was spooky.

5. Blake's exit. Wouldn't it have been funny if Melissa had been waiting in his exit limo! Bwahahahaha!


1. Vienna's constant whining.

2. Kasey and Vienna's fight over sex. Grow up!

3. Blake's perfect little dentist teeth/smirk looks.

4. Erica's petty pouty attitude when Blake wouldn't let her seduce him.

5. Vienna's rose victory rap. Uggh!