Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Bachelor Pad Episode 4 - Kick Rocks Dude

Things We Learned From Bachelor Pad - Episode 4:

Lavender and gray are very becoming paired together. (HARRISONCREST)

If kick rocks dude is the only brilliant thing you can muster every other word, you need to meet me at the flag pole after school so I can wipe the playground with your juvenile ass! (KASEY)

It's STRAT-EGIST not STRAT-EEE-GIST. (KASEY)

Bachelor Pad is a great place to apologize to your ex and fake-redeem yourself. (JAKE)

A kissing contest gives you a free pass to lock lips with someone you find attractive. (BLAKE)

Kissing like grandma won't get you $250,000.00! (ALL THOSE DORKS)

Just because he's kissing you in a kissing contest doesn't mean he has feelings for you, you crazy fool! (MELISSA)

It's easy to tell who your boyfriend is in a kissing contest when he has bad breath! (VIENNA)

Kissing is all about a little bit of pressure and then you pull back. And then a little bit of sucking on the lips and then you pull back. And then a little bit of tongue but not too much and they don't ever want it to end. (ELLA)

When you have giant lips, don't be afraid to use them! (ERICA)

Bad breath is no way to win a kissing competition! (KASEY)

If you kiss a person too long you might just suck their face off! (HOLLY)

It's not the end of the world to be going on a date with the best kisser in the house! (KIRKY)

If you could go back and do the kissing contest over, be the biggest manwhore anyone has ever seen! (WillIAm)

Labeling women as raging weather or volcanic activity is a bit condescending isn't it!? (BLAKE)

A massage can relax a dude but it won't necessarily get you $250,000.00... (ERICA)

A hot air balloon is a cramped place to find romance! (ELLA & KIRKY)

It must be fun to watch yourself act like a raving lunatic week after week on a cheesy reality show. (MELISSA)

It must be fun to watch yourself act like a smarmy arrogant ass week after week on a cheesy reality show. (BLAKE)

If he won't even take you on a date with him, he's just not that into you! (MELISSA)

If a girl does her hair and her nails for you, she's probably planning your wedding! (MELISSA)

Does stirring your yogurt to death accomplish anything? It can help everyone else lose their appetite though... (MELISSA)

An electric toothbrush can save you from having to talk to a crazy woman! (BLAKE)

40 seconds is a long time to wait to verbally bitch slap someone! (MELISSA)

If looks could kill, people would be shot y'all! (ELLA)

A fireplace can be a great spot to brood in front of. Very dramatic for the cameras too... (MICHAEL)

If you're torn with wanting to be with a guy or not be with him at all, you probably aren't that into him! (HOLLY)

When someone drains the life out of you, it's best to get the heck away from them! (GRAHAM)

When you think a girl's going to cut your nuts off, it's probably a good idea to lie to her! (KASEY)

5 COOL THINGS:

1. Erica Rose's sneaky massage/manipulation techniques.

2. Hot air balloon rides--something different!

3. Michelle setting an example for her daughter.

4. Erica's hair in a messy side-bun, looked nice on her.

5. Holly's hair accessories.

5 LAME THINGS:

1. The Kasey vs. Jake Cliffhanger. Like we didn't know Mavdork was leaving! And with a robotic cheesy smile on his face. Classic!

2. "Kick Rocks Dude" - Sooo lame...

3. Holly not taking the high road between Michael and Blake.

4. Hurricane Melissa/Mount Saint Helens Melissa. Do not go on this show ever again!

5. Blake's manipulation of Melissa.

Jenn:)

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