Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Bachelor Pad Episode 1 - The Vienna & Kasey Show!

Back again is that summer bitchest known as Bachelor Pad! To entertain us, Harrisoncrest rolls out a bevy of lads and lassies known to us as: Rated Really Lame Justin, Judge Jackie, Michelle Money, Model Gia, Vienna Motel 6, KA-RAZY Kasey, Mavdork Jake, Princess Erica, I Don't Want DeAnna Graham, Momma Ella, Holly Day, Stagliano Michael, Dentist Blake, Cheerio Ames, Alli Bootie, KA-RAZY Melissa, Kirk-y, and WillIAm.

It's Kasey vs. Jake. 2pm at the flagpole after school. Be there! So what do these 2 "bad" boys talk about when they finally meet up?! The weather! THE WEATHER! Sooo lame!

ENEMIES:

Gia vs. Vienna
Vienna vs. Jake
Michelle vs. Jackie
Kasey vs. Justin

THE ANNOYING LIST:

These Two!

All this guard and protect your heart crappola. Gag!

THAT'S HOT:

Really short dresses and skirts apparently!


Chunky Necklaces

THAT'S SOOO NOT HOT:

The off-the-shoulder 80s look. Not so much!

The Sparkly Showgirl Stripper Look. Blech!

CHEESY FUN FACTS:

Holly finds like really big words like attractive or something!

Vienna is terrified of Jake.

Kermit the Frog lives in Kasey's Throat.

Vienna was a gymnast.

Kasey loves Vienna more than Grandma Peanut Butter Cookies.

In the real world playing both sides comes easy to Justin.

LOVE FEST:


"I love you. You are my everything. I'm serious. I'm gonna marry you. And I'm gonna have your babies." -VIENNA MOTEL 6 (Yeah right...)

MAVDORK: "How did the Trojans beat the Greeks?"
GIA: "The showed up in a big elephant." Dah dah dum!

Um...seriously!? The control freak dentist and the crazy one?! This doesn't bode well me thinks...

HE SAID/SHE SAID:

"I'm going to take a Jake and wipe my Pavelka." -K-FROG KASEY

"I'm here to win $250,000 dollars. And maybe a few hearts along the way." -BLAKE

"Vienna's definitely been around the Bachelor Block." -ERICA

"Couples should be broken up because they won't vote each other off." -GIA

"I feel like I'm moving into a dysfunctional household." -BLAKE

"I don't think it's normal for a couple to break up and then have to move in together." -HOLLY

"I'm not going to make any girls cry. That's so rude." -WillIAm

"If Kasey has a chance he'd probably kick Jake's ass." -VIENNA MOTEL 6

"Mentally beating the crap out of him (Jake) feels frickin' awesome!" -K-FROG KASEY

"I think Melissa might be into me a little bit." -BLAKE

"You know what happens when you maybe have one too many? Erica becomes your partner." -KIRKY

"I would rather be drinking!" -HOLLY

"JAKE! The Bachelor is BACK!" -MAVDORK

"This is my game." -K-FROG KASEY

"Kick Rocks Dude. You're out!" -K-FROG KASEY

"It feels so good to finally have closure with Vienna." -MAVDORK

"Jake Pavelka. I think he's a phony robot. He has no real feelings. He's a complete monster." -VIENNA MOTEL 6

"I'm a Jedi Genius Master." -K-FROG KASEY

HOOK UP CONTEST

Couples:

Kasey & Vienna

Graham and Alli

Melissa and Blake

Michelle and Ames

Jackie and Jake

Erica and Kirk

Michael and Holly

WillIAm and Gia

Justin and Ella

Rosed: Jake and Jackie

IT'S TIME FOR DINNER ABOVE THE STARS

Jake and Jackie

Memorable Moments:

Mavdork has a least one fan! Take that Vienna Motel 6!

This poor girl cried at the sight of Mavdork!

Mavdork unloads his side about Vienna Motel 6.

Let's give the rose to...Vienna! Um...okay?

18 DOWN TO 16:

Jackie, Jake, Vienna, Ames, Erica, Blake, Holly, WillIAm, Michelle, Kirk, Ella, Michael, Melissa, Graham, Kasey, and Gia.

SOME LOVELY PARTY SHOTS:

JUSTIN: "That was Rated Ridiculous! A 24-year-old with fake hooters screwed me!"

ALLI: "I feel a little bit blindsided."

NEXT WEEK...

Blake steps in a slice of crazy pie!

Jenn:)

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