Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Captain Sunshine Gets Dumped Like a Plastic Bottle & Other Good Times...

Here we are in Taiwan on our last stop on Ashley's tour of Asia with her Dim Sum Dudes. Fun times!

In an Amazing Nutshell: Ashley reveals in the most dramatic moment ever why Taiwan is the hidden jewel of Asia! We're clueless... Constantine and Ashley's love wishes get peed on. Awesome! Ben and Ashley spend the night together. J.P. gets pissy. Ames is a true fashion diva! Lucas wears a dress...er...long shirt. J.P. whines that date rose out of Ashley. Captain Sunshine lectures Ashley on tankless water heaters. He gets dumped like a plastic bottle and then experiences sadness for the first time. Too bad he doesn't have tankless tear ducts ;-) Lucas gets sent back to Odessa, no regrets!

THE ANNOYING LIST

Where's the rest of your clothes Ashley!?

Quit chewing your lips for the love of God Ashley!!!!

CHEESY CLICHES AND CATCH PHRASES

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G

THAT'S HOT

Ashley's now an official member of the dude's Gray Brigade! Rock on girl!

Slinky green dresses.

THAT'S SOOOO NOT HOT

It was a 5 for 1 sale on backless outfits at Backless Dress Barn! You go girl! Or not...

When Ryan gets excited, he forcibly bangs his elbow into his hands over and over. Please don't do that e-v-e-r again!

Are my eyes bleeding or are those red pants?! Oh damn, they're red pants. WTFudge Ames!?

CHEESY FUN FACTS

Ashley says Taiwan is the hidden jewel of Asia because "not a lot of people know about it." Okay!

Ames can spell! Gorges. G-O-R-G-E-S. Gorges.

Constantine has a big fat Greek family!

Ashley thinks all wine tastes alike! And that it tastes like Ben's!

Ames' parents are Elton John and an Ostrich. Who knew!?

HE SAID/SHE SAID

"I just want it to be me and her." -J.P.

"We're going places. We're going places!" -BEN

"There's a whole bunch of energy running through me and I'm just not able to turn it off!!!!" -RYAN

"It's a total Mind-#%@&!" -J.P.

"Group dates suck!" -LUCAS

"There's only 5 of us and this is a small group." -CAPTAIN OBVIOUS AMES

"Ashley. Gentlemen. It's the final rose tonight. When you're ready." -HARRISONCREST

"Maybe I wasn't cut out for this...you know?" -ASHLEY

LET YOUR LOVE LIGHT SHINE

Constantine and Ashley

Memorable Moments:

The Plaid Brigade lives on!

Kiddos, hop on the steam train ride to an adorable little village!

Such a gentleman! A piggy back ride soothes the feet from those totally apropos spiked walking heels!

Love wishes on a lantern. Setting them free. Awe!

He remembers everything she says. Can we bottle that skill for other men please?!

IF I fall in love... Uh oh, red flag!

Love wishes floating in the sky. Kissing for an eternity without moving their lips. Purrr-fact!

LET'S SPEND A "GORGES" DAY IN TAIWAN

Ben and Ashley

Memorable Moments:

Harry and Lloyd...er...Ben and Ashley ride off into the sunset on their moped!

He toots the horn. She HA HA HA HAs! Good times!

BEN: "Hell of a second date kiddo!"

He's such a sweet talker!

She's got him where she wants him. Awe!

No L-Bombs from him tonight!

I'M GROOMING YOU FOR THE BIG DAY

Lucas, Ames, J.P. and Ashley

Memorable Moments:

Wedding photos! That's soooo...er...Amazing! Not!

Lucas is decked out in a long shirt. Ames notes it's very "slimming." Okay...

Somewhere a dude from the 70s is calling and wants his prom outfit back stat...

The Traditional Couple!

The Let's Tiptoe Through the Tulips Couple!

Ames is waay into that foliage! He'll be ready to tiptoe through the tulips next...

The Forever Couple?

LUCAS: "I haaad funnn."

ASHLEY: "It's not a dress. It's a long shirt..."

Ames shares a deep dark secret with Ashley--he used to be a dork. "Here's the handy proof I carry around in my wallet on trips around the world! Pinky swear you won't tell! Pip Pip! Cheerio!"

Is it me or is Ames pulling a Klinger and trying to not get a rose with these feminine red pants?!

J.P. confesses he's been a jealous snit with the other guys and whines his way into a rose!

LET'S GET A TASTE OF TAIPEI

Captain Sunshine Ryan and Ashley

Memorable Moments:

All the waiting, the anticipation, and the sleepless nights have paid off! He's a goner!

This woman is afraid that Ryan's extreme perky happiness might rub off on her and be catching!

They throw bricks to the Matchmaker God and they land on the same sides. Bummer!

Ryan is sooo...tai chi!

Captain Sunshine wills the sun to appear...and it does. Life is good. Until he gets dumped...

Ryan grills Ashley on her views on the environment. She likes to throw plastic bottles away. He grits his teeth momentarily. And then he lectures her on tankless water heaters. Somewhere in a gas guzzling lear jet, his mentor Al Gore was smiling ;-)

ASHLEY: "In my head you're my perfect guy. But I'm not feeling it..."

Captain Sunshine gets sent home and is shell shocked. What is this strange emotion I'm feeling!? It's sadness dude!

GETTING ROSED
6 DOWN TO 4:

J.P., Constantine, Ben, and Ames.

THE BROKEN HEARTED:

RYAN: "Are you kidding me!? Geez man! $#@!!"

LUCAS: No regrets. But now who'll cook my breakfast!?

THOUGHTS TO PONDER:

I wonder if Ashley visited a foot massage parlor after her whirlwind tour in spiked heels...

Anyone else suspect Ryan was hit by lightening at some time in his past. It could explain why he's sooo loaded with energy that he doesn't know when to turn off the light switch...

BACHELORETTE FUN #7
REVENGE IS SWEET!

Before Blake got out of dodge last week, he apparently took some dental drills and picks to Ashley's clothes and made them backless! Yeah that'll fix her!




COMING UP NEXT WEEK...

Money Money Money! OPA!

Jenn:)

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