Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Let's Call it a Wash and Dot Dot Dot to the Finale...

Harrisoncrest takes a break from meditating to welcome us all to Chiang Mai--the most romantic city in Thailand. It's sooo romantic, that our little love saboteur Ashley's afraid she'll be all alone in the end. She's also apparently being stalked by some lamer named Dot Dot Dot...

In an Amazing Nutshell: If you can't fall in love in Chiang Mai, you suck! Sage Ames knows what color Saffron is. Ben F. and Ashley mentally kiss while we napped. The dudes get their butts kicked in Muay Thai Boxing. Ames looks about the same when dazed and confused as he normally does. Strange... WillIAm sabotages Ben C. Then he gets his butt kicked to the limo of shame. The mirror is not his friend. Good times! Nick heads home to find a hottie at the gym...

THE ANNOYING LIST

Stop playing with your bangs Ashley!!!!

BENT-LEY, BENT-LEY, BENT-LEY!

Dot Dot Dot... Don't ever want to hear that phrase again!

CHEESY CLICHES AND CATCH PHRASES

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G

Dot Dot Dot... (Triple Gag!)

THAT'S HOT

Where's the rest of your dress girlie!?

Legs draped over your guy.

THAT'S SOOOO NOT HOT

Disturbingly large glasses!

This Outfit...

The sweaty and/or rain drippy look. Not so much!

CHEESY FUN FACTS

Lucas claims he's been in some street fights. What, Sesame Street?!

Ames has never been a fight in his life. Really?!??

WillIAm has TWO thumbs and likes to refer to himself as "This Guy." Gag!

Blake walks with a little spring in his step.

Lucas is a golfer. Not a boxer. Maybe a street fighter...

HE SAID/SHE SAID

"No no kissing!" -BEN F.

"HA HA HA HA!" -ASHLEY

"Muay Thai Boxing. The craziest workout I've ever had in my life." -LUCAS

"I might have to come out of my shell and kick some ass." -AMES

"I'm more than just a dentist. I'm a Backstreet Boy!" -BLAKE

"There's no crying in Muay Thai." -J.P.

"I'm totally useful...er...useless in conversation tonight. I'm sooo embarrassed!" -AMES

"2 Men. 1 Rose. 1 Stays. 1 Goes. Yo ho ho!" -HARRISONCREST

"Do I stick out my butt?" -ASHLEY

"It's two dudes. One girl. That's awkward!" -WillIAm

"I'm looking for a MAN!" -ASHLEY

"I leave here, I go back to nothing!" -WillIAm

"I know people are going to think I'm crazy for holding on to someone who left me." -ASHLEY

"Ashley. Gentlemen. It's the final rose tonight. When you're ready." -HARRISONCREST

LET'S FALL IN LOVE IN CHIANG MAI

Ben F. and Ashley

Memorable Moments:

There's a 100% chance Ashley's getting kissed on this date!

ASHLEY: "I wanna buy a dress!"

BEN F.: "Oooh Maaan! Streeeeet Fooood!"

They flash mob some street musicians and take over their instruments. Very poorly I might add!

From painting orphanages to painting parasols. A smiley face. Classic!

No kissing on sacred ground you crazy Americans!!!

Mind kisses are sooo hot! Not!

ASHLEY: "I just want to jump on him! Reeer!" Okay...

He'll throw her wine parties, wink wink!

LET'S BEAT THE $#!% OUT OF EACH OTHER

Constantine, Ames, Nick, Blake, Lucas, Ryan, J.P., Mickey and Ashley

Memorable Moments:

Muay Thai Boxing. Finally we're awake!

AMES: "Hands. Fists. Legs. Anything goes.Really, it's pretty wild. Cheerio!"

Ashley feels bad but not really because seeing the guys bust a move is kind of hot!

Captain Sunshine isn't feeling so sunny now is he!?

Ames doesn't kick any ass. But I think he wiped the floor with his...

Suddenly it dawns on Ashley that these guys are like punching each other. For reals! She fears there could be danger! Sooo scary!

Blake kicks Lucas's butt. J.P.: "The Jew from Long Island kicked the Irishman's ass from Cleveland." Ryan kicks Ame's clock. Constantine kicks Nick's butt. Really?

Pinky Ames Goes Down in Flames...

POW!

BOOM!

BAM!

Even after getting his bell rung, Ames is still smiling! Gotta love it!

Ames is so disoriented he shows up dressed for the rose ceremony at the after party...

Ames was diagnosed with being totally in love! Oh, and he's got a mild concussion too...

Ashley and Lucas fake golf. And she sticks out her butt. FORE! Or something like that...

GUIDE ME TO LOVE

Ben C., WillIAm and Ashley

Memorable Moments:

ASHLEY: "It's like out of a movie. Two men are like guiding me down the river!"

WillIAm isn't throwing Ben C. under the bus...but then he totally slams him under the bus!

Riding Elephants? That's soooo Brad and Emily...

These two couldn't have clashed more if they tried blindfolded!

WillIAm: "I'm not fully ready to grow up!"

Aaaaand we're done! Karma's a bitch saboteur WillIAm! HA HA HA HA!

GETTING ROSED
11 DOWN TO 8:


Ben F., Blake, Constantine, Lucas, J.P., Ames, Mickey, and Ryan.

THE BROKEN HEARTED:

BEN C.: So shocked... Watch out Match.com, cause daddy's coming home! Woot Woot!

WillIAm: "Loser. Jackass. Mirror isn't my friend. That's my life. %$#@!"

NICK: "Devastated. Hurts. I think there's someone perfect out there for me. I dont' know when I'll meet her." You'll meet her at the gym!

THOUGHTS TO PONDER:


Anyone else sick of Bent-ley!?

Does anyone really run around using the phrase, "Dot Dot Dot" and "Period" when discussing your relationships!?

After WillIAm's shenanigans, do you think WillIAm and Ben C. were on a plane together back to the states?

BACHELORETTE FUN #5
THE MIND KISS

Ashley and Ben F. demonstrate how to Mind Kiss each other. They think it's hot. I think it's boring!

You kiss almost as good as Bent-ley!

Boy that street food was sooo good!

COMING UP NEXT WEEK...


SHUT UP! Bent-ley D-Bag is baaaaaack!

Jenn:)

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