Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Bachelor Brad: The Women Tell All or Nothing at All...

Bring it on bitches! It's the Women Tell All...Or Nothing At All! All bets on the latter...

Joining us from the 28 women Brad has dumped thus far were these whiners and cat fighters:

Eye Rollin' Sarah P., Voice of Reason Lisa M., No One Likes Melissa, Bugs Alli, Lady Godiva Hair Britt, Monotone Marissa, You Can Lead A Horse to Water Raichel, Fashionista Meghan, Jersey Shore Stacey, Boo Hoo Ashley S., Judge Jackie, The New Ashley H., Momma Michelle, Vamp Madison, and Mute Shawntel N.

Just listening to them bitch for 2 hours could make anyone extra bitchy and snarky! And who nominated Judge Jackie to speak so much for the group!? Don't pee on her shoes and tell her it's raining! Did Stacey think she was auditioning for Jersey Shore?! And Sarah P.--what's with the really long stringy hair thingy that was driving me nuts. Scissors anyone!? Booooo!

Holy cow, who is this woman?! It's the new Ash! Ashley H. has gone back to her natural hair color. Like the new look? Vote up top right...

Props to Harrisoncrest for this snazzy tousled do--Ashley H. couldn't be the only one with a makeover!

Zero props go to Jackie, Sarah P., and Stacey whose constant whining and bitching were like nails on a chalkboard!

Happy Face #1 - Perfecting the Eye Roll!

Happy Face #2 - Eyes like daggers!

Happy Face #3 - Looking Down On You Eyes!

Bachelor/ette Reunions=one crazy Bachelor Pad 2. In fact, I think this picture probably sums up Bachelor Pad 2! Um, gross!

30 BITCHY FUN FACTS ABOUT
THE WOMEN TELL ALL...
OR NOTHING AT ALL:

1. Brad thinks Madison is an extraordinary woman who will make some vampire happy some day! Okay!

2. Brad's a trooper, man!

3. Brad's got zero game...

4. All the drama and cat fights are like a glorious buffet for Harrisoncrest!

5. Jackie equates Michelle to a spider--she's creepy and everyone's afraid of her... Ooooh!

6. Raichel's Deep Thoughts on Melissa: She's Poisonous, Toxic, Frantic, Frazzled and Freaking everyone out!

7. Melissa apologizes. Raichel's sorry for her own actions, but not sorry about that Bitch Melissa!

8. Michelle's smart ass side is really just a defense mechanism.

9. Just to clear things up Stacey, Jackie, and Sarah P, NO, Michelle doesn't want monkeys to attack Chantal! But we want monkeys to attack Stacey, Jackie, and Sarah P!

10. Stacey throws down the mother/child card at Michelle. Michelle Cries. People roll their eyes. Boooooo!

11. Jackie thinks Michelle's like Slim Shady, yo!

12. Britt thinks those witches are just jealous of Michelle! We think so too, Jackie!

13. Michelle and Emily were like best friends in the house. Who knew!?

14. Ashley S. hits up Harrisoncrest for his single friends! Woohoo!

15. To sum up, Ashley H. didn't know what the hell she was doing! Yeah, we noticed...

16. "Regret weighs so heavily on your heart." -Ashley H.

17. Ashley H. blames her split with Brad 100% on her self!

18. Brunettes have more fun! So says Ashley H...

19. Ashley H. feels like a changed woman! She really, really, really does! Brad's reallys have clearly worn off on her!

20. Brad promised his final babe he wouldn't be too happy to be at the WTA. Sorry babe, he's totally thrilled to be there!

21. Watching Ashley S's exit broke Brad's heart. Awe!

22. "Mercy! This is the HOT seat, man!" -Brad under fire

23. Brad will defend Michelle until he's blue in the face! Take that Stacey!

24. Brad's a hugger!

25. Playing soccer in South Africa, Harrisoncrest can bend it like Beckham!

26. "We're not doing this again! This is IT!" -Harrisoncrest to Brad

27. Classy! Sarah P. can drink wine with her feet. Didn't see that one coming...

28. Where was this fun goofy side of Serious Brad during the last 9 episodes!?

29. Brad has no regrets!

30. Brad wants to marry Emily! Wait, did I just hear that in the voice over!?

Until next week when Brad dumps one and finally picks one in the end! And then everyone can quit nagging and bitching to him about Bachelor Brad #1.

Jenn:)

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