Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Are You Lonesome Tonight Without Your Therapist? & Other Thoughts To Ponder...

From love dates to hanging out to banging, it's all good! I think Brad's favorite color is purple. I really do. No doubt about it!

Excuse my while I commence a vein drain to get through another episode of Bachelor Brad: Therapy Edition. Maybe he'll just pick the therapist in the end...

The most controversial season of the bachelor ever!? We'll see...

THE ANNOYING LIST

Jumping! Squealing! Hair Flying! It's the curse of Tenley. Make it stop!!!!

THINGS THAT WERE HOT

Satin dresses.

Bawling!

Shopping sprees

Purple!

Lots of purple!

THINGS THAT WERE NOT HOT

Grandma's dishtowels as a shirt cuffs liner? Priceless...

The purple pimp jacket? Not so much...

CHEESY FUN FACTS

Brad is fascinated by embalming...

HE SAID/SHE SAID

"I'm ready for some girls to go home. Primarily because I need some space for my luggage." -Michelle

"HELL-o!" -Brad

"Viva Las Vegas!" -Brad

"Put it on the counter!" -Brad

"Where would this leakage occur?" -Brad

"I think it's time for the Ashleys to part and go their separate ways..." -Michelle

"I feel like a jerk!" -Brad

"You're a little older than me my dear!" -Emily to Grandpa Brad

"Don't cry babe..." -Brad

"I've met a billion guys who can't handle my life." -Emily

"HELL-o!" -Brad

"I just don't need drama in my life!" -Brad

"I think we should go send some girls home now." -Michelle

"I definitely hate to break up a party in Vegas!" -Harrisoncrest

"Ladies. Brad. It's the final rose tonight. When you're ready." -Harrisoncrest

LET'S END TONIGHT WITH A BANG

Shawntel and Brad

Memorable Moments:

Shawntel knows her date's gonna end with a BANG--cause it's like in WRITING!

There were like icebergs in the middle of the mall! And like big names of shops Shawntel had never heard of... Okay!

Fendi!

Michelle fake hangs herself at Shawntel's score!

He takes her shopping AND carries her handbags! SHUT UP!

It's like a pretty woman moment! Without the hooker part of course...Maybe that comes later with the BANG!?

Brad takes Shawntel to the roof. And then he forgets he left her up their on a mattress and when he and all the girls see a mattress impaled on a hotel statue the next day they just don't get it and then after a crazy day of searching for Shawntel along with finding a tiger and a crying baby in their suite, they finally remember the mattress! In the most dramatic episode ever, they rush to the rooftop and find Shawntel sunburned and gnawing on her $5,000.00 purse...Just sayin'

Humorous Conversation ensued. Like embalming, leakage, ghosts popping champagne corks. Um...

She's the hottest funeral directer he's ever met! Awe!

Just like the date, it goes from sexy stilettos to...old school flip flops!?

LET'S GO SPEED DATING (WITH BRAD AND EMILY!)

Emily and Brad plus those other witches (Jackie, Lisa, Marissa, Alli, Chantal, Britt, and Michelle)

Memorable Moments:

OMG--Jackie has a moment when she realizes this is NOT go-kart racing and it's big bad NASCAR racing!

Michelle thinks she's fun and hot and whooo doggies y'all should see her in a race car y'all!

Alli's ticked that someone who comes in with the worst story gets the most attention! Whaaa!

Emily does a couple laps for Ricky and then one for her. She's now ready for Brad!

Chantal throws down the love word. Ooooh!

Brad loves to kiss Michelle. He really does!

They were just a bunch of creepy girls watching Brad and Emily on a date all night!

COME SWING WITH THE KING

Ashley S., Ashley H. and Brad

Memorable Moments:

"2 Girls. 1 Rose. 1 Stays. 1 Goes. Yo Ho Ho!" -Harrisoncrest

Brad's a huge Cirque Du Soleil fan! Okay!

Viva Elvis Baby!

They get to rehearse for Cirque Du Soleil!

Brad - "Unfortunately there's only one rose!" Thanks Captain Obvious!

Ashley S. love your eyes. Ashley H. you solidify my change. Um. Hasta La Vista Ashley S.!

Cue...Are you Lonesome Toniiiiiiight?

GETTING ROSED

Shawntel, Emily, Ashley H., Michelle, Alli, Britt, Jackie, and Chantal.

GETTING BROKEN HEARTED +
A FEW LOVELY PARTING SHOTS

Ashley S. - Whaaaaaaa!

Lisa - It's hard!

Marissa - I didn't get it!

THINGS TO PONDER

Anyone else notice how Shawntel started out her date in stilettos and ended up in flip flops?

Did Brad's therapist tell him to smell the roses very deeply before he hands them out on dates?!

Doesn't Harrisoncrest's knife look a lot sharper this time around!?

BACHELOR FUN #5
HOW TO DOMINATE YOUR MAN
BY S&MICHELLE

Tweak his tie!

Tell him NOT to talk!

Have your way with him!

And if that doesn't bring the party, try a little choking...

Good times!

Jenn:)

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