Thursday, January 20, 2011

Bachelor Brad Therapy Edition & Other Thoughts to Ponder...

Daddy issues anyone!? What is this, Bachelor Brad Therapy Edition!? Good grief, pass the tissue box and pour me a stiff Martini...

THINGS THAT PISS MICHELLE OFF:

1. People

2. Group Dates

3. Other women kissing "her" man.

4. Waiting.

5. Not getting a rose.

6. Brad going out with other girls.

7. Brad thinking about other girls.

8. Brad talking to other girls

9. Other girls...

THINGS THAT WERE HOT

Chunky bangles.

The puffy face

Therapy

THINGS THAT WERE NOT HOT

Pitt stains!

The shaggy sheep dog look. Not so much unless you're like 3!

This Hot Mess Hairdo!

Michelle. Who's like 3.

CHEESY FUN FACTS

Michelle likes to mark her territory. Okay...

Ashley S. is terrified of singing in front of people.

Brad loves to get dirty!

Michelle doubles as a fireworks salesman.

Emily is a tough girl.

Brad has a therapist in every city. And that's TOTALLY NORMAL! Yes siree!!!!

Brad has never cheated in his life.

HE SAID/SHE SAID

"These girls are not right for Brad. I'm not going to lie. I HATE them." -Michelle

"I am so sick and tired of spending my dates with other women." -Michelle

"A woman has to do what a woman has to do." -Shawntel

"Oh my God that girl's crazy. Michelle just seems like evil!" -Alli

"Emily--she's like this itsy bitsy Barbie doll with the soul of Mother Theresa. So you want to hate her but you can't!" -Meghan

"I'm under A LOT of pressure." -Brad

"Am I interrupting??" -Michelle

"You don't have to take out your fangs. I like the fangs!" -Brad to Vampy

"Ladies. Brad. It's the final rose tonight. When you're ready." -Harrisoncrest

"Rejection sucks!" -Sarah

LET'S FIND OUR LOVE SONG

Ashley S. and Brad

Memorable Moments:

Ashely S. has a charming accent. Her singing voice? Not so much...

The most embarrassing thing they've ever done.

They could sing it 1010 times and it's not going to get any better...

Lots of giggling!!! Make it stop!!!!

"I apologize Mr. Seal." -Brad

OH MY STARS! There's Mr. Seal!!!!

Her dad orchestrated it from above. Awe!

LOVE HURTS

Lindsay, Shawntel, Alli, Britt, Kimberly, Sarah, Chantal, Lisa, Ashley H., Stacey, Marissa, AND MICHELLE!

Memorable Moments:

What really hurts is Michelle being on a group date with all these other women!

Brad got fake beat up by some other dudes. And Lisa was LHerAO!!!!

Michelle wants some ninjas to haul off all the other bitches to someplace like the desert!

Shawntel steals the scene!

Another rooftop pool wrap party. So original Fleiss!

Brad jumps in the pool fully clothed.

Chantal feels a ridiculous connection with Brad and they haven't even been on a real date yet...

Michelle plays the I Miss My Daughter/Am I Being Selfish Card.

LOVE IS INTOXICATING

Emily and Brad

Memorable Moments:

It's a perfect day!

What sadistic production person picked Emily for a date with a small plane ride!?

Elephant in the room=A.W.K.W.A.R.D...

He covered up her chilly legs. Awe!

He likes her A LOT. A LOT. I mean A LOT!

Flowing wine leads to heartfelt confessions...

"Gimme that dang ole rose!" -Emily

GETTING ROSED

Ashley S., Shawntel, Emily, Michelle, Chantal, Lisa, Jackie, Ashley H., Marissa, Britt, Lindsay, Meghan, Alli, and Stacey.

GETTING BROKEN HEARTED +
A FEW LOVELY PARTING SHOTS

Madison--Prince Charming? Um, no...

Kimberly--No regrets. He was intimidated by me. Some guys find me attractive. I've got a big list of my awesomeness...His loss.

Sarah--Damn, I should have worn waterproof mascara!!!!

THINGS TO PONDER

Brad's 38, Emily is 24. When Brad was 28, Emily was 14. When Brad was 14, Emily was like 0!!!!

BACHELOR FUN #3
3 Reasons Why We
Love Chris Harrisoncrest

1. Clink Clink Clink!

2. Ladies. Brad. It's the final rose tonight. When you're ready...

3. Ladies, I'm sorry. Take a moment and say your goodbyes.

Jenn:)

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