Monday, September 6, 2010

Bachelor Pad Episode #5 - Railing is NOT cool - But my Ginkoloba IS!

Dumb Smart Girl
Word of the Day

Railing - A structure made of rails.

Oh wait, that's not it. From Urban Dictionary: "Nailing a broad." Well, that about sums it up...

Harrisoncrest drops a bomb--the ladies will be leaving NOW! The ladies respond with a chorus of "OMG, Whaa, Holy Crap, and I'm freaking out!" It's a couple's game from now on. Wha Wha Whaaaaa! Gee, all those singles must be feeling pretty DUMB about now for not breaking up those pesky couples!

Big thought to ponder...if you catch a BAD CASE OF KOVACS, is there a vaccine for that???! Just sayin'!

There it is ladies, a shirtless man IRONING! Can't. Get. Better. Than. THAT!

WHAT NOT/TO WEAR:

Grandma's outfit? NOT so much...

LOVE FEST:

"I LOVE Kissing! Kissing is FUN! And Kiptyn is FUN! We're KIP-TEN!" -Tenley and her little birds and animal friends (GAG!)

SERIOUSLY, HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

Ladies, if you're having to have this kind of insecure conversation, then either you like to play games or you're totally blinded by "fantasy love" because HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!

Kovacs and Elizabeth sneak into the Fantasy Suite. It was unlocked so she didn't have to show off her handy lock picking skills ;)

KOVACS: "What do you want to do?"

ELIZABETH: "I dunno..."

KOVACS: "Want to get naked? If you do, that's cool. Whatever... Is that awesome or is that...?"

ELIZABETH: "Well it's awesome if we're in love and we're making love, but if it's just railing, then no it's not cool..."

KOVACS: "It's not going to be railing its...are we going to waste our time and keep talking?"

ELIZABETH: "I want romance. Where is it."

20 Seconds Later...

ELIZABETH: "I kind of feel like a stupid girl.

KOVACS: "What am I doing?"

ELIZABETH: "I don't see you going out of your way to do romantic things with me or take advantage of them when we get the opportunities..."

KOVACS: "What did we just do tonight?"

ELIZABETH: "You got laid."

KOVACS: "I don't get it, what do you want me to do. I don't get what you're saying. Why do you do this?"

ELIZABETH: 'Because I don't feel like you ever put forth any kind of effort. I feel like it's all me and it sucks."

KOVACS: "I don't know what you want me to do, especially in this setting where we're trying to compete. We're trying to outsmart people. We're trying to figure out a way to get asked to the end. We gotta win."

ELIZABETH: "I should be worth putting up as big a fight as you put up for the $250,000.00 if not more. $250,000.00 is a lot of money. But I feel like I'm worth way more than that.

KOVACS: "Oh my &^%$ I care about you a lot. You're the one who's ^%$#@!@# pushing me away. You're trying to. You want to test me. Why are you ruining this opportunity.

ELIZABETH: "I'm sorry. DRAMATIC PAUSE. SIGH. I love you."

KOVACS: ------- (Crickets chirping...)

The morning after:

ELIZABETH: "Are you mad at me?"

SO CLASSY...
OR, 2 WAYS TO LOSE A GIRL:


1. Beg her to eat a banana!

2. Dig an ingrown hair out of your leg with a drywall screw!!! Ewe!!!!!!

HE SAID/SHE SAID:


"Don't hate the player man, hate the game!" -Jesse B.

"Spin the bottle!??! Are you kidding me?!!?" -Natalie

"She's got a screw loose. She's definitely unstable!" -Kovacs on Elizabeth

"Every girl wants to be swept off her feet!" -Ashley

"I have a steel trap for a memory." -Kovacs

"Every day I take a pill to help me remember things. It's called Ginkaloba or something lame like that!" -Elizabeth the Dumb Smart Girl!

"Dave is a MAN!" -Natalie points out the obvious...

"I never thought in a million years that catching a freakin' water balloon would make me so happy!" -Natalie

"I like it when a man's in control." -Natalie

"If a girl catches a bad case of Kovacs, so be it!" -Kovacs

SPIN THE BOTTLE ELIMINATION

Kiptyn picks Tenley
Kovacs picks Elizabeth
Jesse B. picks Peyton
David picks Natalie

Shafted By Their Own Stupidity: Nikki, Gwen, and Ashley. Hindsight's a beyotch!

WATER BALLOON TOSS CHALLENGE

Um, what kind of water balloon challenge is this?!

First couple out: Peyton and Jesse B.
2nd couple out: Tenley and Kiptyn
3rd couple out: Kovacs and Elizabeth

Rosed: David and Natalie

SPEND THE NIGHT TOGETHER UNDER THE STARS

David and Natalie

Memorable Moments:

Tenley thinks they may be taking a rocket ship. And then rainbows shot out of her A$$ because normal people don't just come up with this crap! Ha. Ha!

Kovacs and Elizabeth break in the Lamborghini. Gross!

David drove it "like he stole it." Okay!

Natalie actually thinks that Lamborghini's are in the cards for her and David. ;)

If David doesn't win the money, he can always fall back on his hot girl/hot car photography skills!

A date at the mansion where Jason and Molly fell in love. Awe.

A deep conversation about David and a little more understanding about the origins of the Juanita vs. Dave MAN CODE rage.

8 DOWN TO 6:

Tenley and her little birds and animal friends too, I Love Bears Natalie, Man Code Angry Dude David, Dumb Smart Girl Elizabeth, "Kovacs" Jesse K., and Abs Kiptyn.

SOME LOVELY PARTING SHOTS:

Jesse B.: There are a couple of people who are fairly fake. Bull%$#@ and zero respect.

Peyton: Can't believe it's over. A huge letdown. I was an outsider. It's tough.

NEXT WEEK...

In the end Women Code just can't beat Man Code. Next week, could be a different story...

Jenn:)

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