Saturday, March 13, 2010

I'm 100% Sure & Other Thoughts To Ponder

Ahh, the moment we've all been waiting for!The most dramatic finale evvvvver! We tune in to find our hero Mavdork puzzling over what to do! He was in love with 4 women. Now, he's totally in love with 2 women! Forget those other two! But how can he choose. He ponders the moment, hoping the rings will talk to him and guide him...

He dramatically and shirtlessly poses against a rock wall. He prays he'll be able to choose the right girl! And if not, he can always perform the ever-snazzy half-Mesnick after letting one of them go:


MEET THE PARENTS

Jake's Family & Tenley

Memorable Moments:

Anyone for a dog pile??!

Jake makes Vienna look like the sinner next to saintly Tenley and then moans, "What did I do?!"

Jake apparently likes to tell stupid jokes.

Tenley makes the whole family cry on multiple occasions!

Lots of crying! Make it stop!!!

Jake hasn't told Tenley he likes to play rough!

Let's be spontaneous and run and jump into the pool and make out in front of my family! Okey dokey!

Jake's family loves Tenley and her little birdies and animal friends too!

MEET THE PARENTS

Jakes' Family and Vienna

Memorable Moments:

"Just be yourself." --Jake (Oh boy...)

The girls all HATED me! Haahahahahahahaha! Ha!" --Vienna, giggling like a school girl.


Aaaaaand cut to these faces:


Okay...

Can she get along with the the force that is the Sister-in-Laws!?!?

Brutally honest=immature.

"Do I look fat in this outfit?"

Whaaaa! They so judged her and now they feel bad...Okay...

LAST CHANCE VIENNA!

Memorable Moments:

Stinky Sulfer="Lightening Hot" Love!

"I'm excited to get down and dirty with Jake!" --Vienna

Writing "I love you" in stinky mud...

Three cheers to awkwardly pouring champagne!

Wanna come back to my place for cheese and crackers !? ;)

She gives him her promise ring. Awe.

LAST CHANCE TENLEY!

Memorable Moments:

Tenley's near "jaws of life" smack down greeting!

She's going to kiss him and hug him and play with him all day long! And then sing a little with the blue birdies...

Hey Tenley, our physical chemistry isn't so hot...

He hurts Tenley's feelings and laments, "Oh my gosh, what have I done?"

Jake practically trudges slowly up to Tenley's bungalow for a last night cap.

She gives him a huge shadow box filled with their passionate physical chemistry...

She's going to prove their physical chemistry in every single way! Oh boy...

GOING DOWN IN FLAMES: TENLEY

Something doesn't feel right! She gives a speech THANKING HIM. He says little. Why are you saying goodbye?!!?!? And there she goes in the limo bouncing up and down and left and right all the way down that rutted rocky road of life.

"Goodbye St. Lucia Sun!" Aaand cut to a foreboding cloud...

SPICE IT IS!

After literally sending Tenley down that rutted road of life, he's 100% sure in his decision. Yes siree! But first he must be dramatic and give Vienna Motel 6 back her ring making her tear up and make this rather scary face:

And cut to the proposal! She said yes. America might have said, HUH!? We'll see in 6 months...

AFTER THE FINAL ROSE:
TENLEY, JAKE, VIENNA
AND JEFFREY OSBORNE

TOP 15 THINGS WE GOT OUT OF THE ATFR:

1. His choice came from his...heart!

2. "Bring it on!" --Tenley

3. Tenley thinks Jakes smells soooo good!

4. Mavdork's Search for the Magical Spark

5. Tenley is one of the sweetest, nicest women they've had on the show! And we love her little birdies and animal friends too!

6. "Hurt hurts." --One of Mavork's more profound ponderings

7. Vienna is Jake's BABY!

8. Let's relive all the Mesnicks! Or not...

9. Vienna's face is a lot thinner!

10. Vienna has a secret boyfriend that's soooo secret, she doesn't even know about him! Take that Tabloids!

11. Vienna's moving to Dallas! What about Jake!?!?

12. Jeffrey Osborn sings On the Wings of Love. Mavdork dips Vienna.

13. The next Bachelorette is...ALI!

14. Ali says screw work! It's love all the way baby!

15. Ali wants like 50 guys on her show! Make it happen Fleiss, or else!

Jenn:)

***Caps From Dreamer at Jokers. Thanks!***

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