Wednesday, March 17, 2010

20/20 Bachelor Special - Project Lemonade!

No Project Lemonade isn't something Jakey Boy and his Nice Guys Brigade came up with to make money in their spare time when they're not out there fighting evil so that nice guys can finish first! Gag... No, that would be the creation of this guy - The Lemonator:

If you tuned in to see 20/20's special on the Bachelor, you saw a parade of previous bachelor/ettes chatting about those fun old days in the Bachelor house, bitch fests with the other ladies, hanging out at the margarita machine, blah blah blah.

Here's 30 Interesting Things We Learned From this Special:

1. You can take lemons and make DELICIOUS lemonade out of them. Seriously.

2. Those were some snarky fans! You go fans!

3. YO Vienna and Jake - PLEASE STOP WITH THE FACE LICKING. Yuuuuck!

4. There's a master bathroom in the Bachelor mansion where you can tell secrets. Hmmmm...

5. Psychoanalysts would say we like this show because we grow up dreaming of prince charming, the white horse, the fairytale. But what we end up with is Sir Ruckamuck on his Donkey sleeping with like 5 and a HALF other women on the show! Yeah Bob. I'm talking to you!

6. OMG the memories (and the horror) - it was Fleiss that brought us Darva Conger and that dork nerd she married!

7. America's Favorite Catch Phrase? This is the final rose tonight...

8. Ryan and Trista were paid 1 million for their wedding which cost whopping 4 million! That's a lot of pink stuff!

9. Charlie is an alcoholic.

10. Bob is THE MAN to Lemonator Fleiss! Oh yeah...

11. Estella says she didn't sleep with Bob. Neither did Meredith. So who the hell were the other 5 and the half-A who couldn't quite make it to six?

12. Sarah and Charlie - Will they or won't they get engaged?! It's a mystery!

13. Melissa had NO idea Jason was going to get back with Molly. AND she would never date Jason if she saw him on the street--like yuck! Hmmm...

14. The Worst of the Worst: Toe Jam Tanner, Rotty Eggs Alli, Panic Attack Ronda, Selling Records Wes? You be the judge...

15. Making an ass of yourself while drunk on like 10 bottles of champagne can be a wake up call...or not!

16. They cast roles! The shy one. The den mother. The drama queen. The weeper. The whisperer. The wild one. The Career Opportunist. Shocker!

17. Women like to see other women in misery according to the Lemonator!

18. WHAT THE HELL happened to this guy Byron?!?

19. One of Bob's 5 1/2 (I'd bet on it!) Mary is still in love with Byron, who she gave up her life to be his little fishy sidekick. And back up his boat into the water, sleep in ratty motels, and catch stinky fish. All for two birthday drunken fight fest arrests and one nose job. Was it worth it?

20. Only half of the girls (or guys) need to be there for the right reason. Riiight...

21. Matt Grant had $20,000.00 worth of dental work in order to bag a Monkey.

22. "The hot tub is MAJOR baby!" --Lemonator Fleiss

23. Brad has developed social anxiety from doing this show. Thanks America!

24. DeAnna flew all the way to Austin to make amends with Brad. Awe.

25. Firestone is totally happy. And not a question asked about Jen Schefft! Hmmmm...

26. The staff of The Bachelor could use a shave. Big time!

27. Jehan's dating life sucks after doing The Bachelor.

28. Red Van Reidster's dating life is off the charts! Gotta be the glasses...

29. The average guy/girl on this show has sex with 3 people.

30. The Lemonator's dream ending?! Justice of the peace wedding at the final rose ceremony. Classy!


***Caps From Dreamer at Jokers. Thanks!***

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