Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I Came Here To Find Love With Mavdork & Other Thoughts To Ponder...

I'm baaaaack! The season's nearly over and I'm a few snarky comments short of a full Blog season! Finally getting caught up. So where to begin--taking us back to episode 3 when Jake and Vienna Motel 6 took that "leap of faith." Awe. Gag! Let's go down memory lane, shall we...

LIKE TOTALLY FUN FACTS!

Golly gee wilikers! Mavdork likes adventure dates!

Vienna is scared of heights. So is Mavdork. Shocker!

Michelle has a back tat.

Vienna is a bit of a feather-ruffler...and she's nurturing! Okay...

Vienna doesn't like to kiss and tell. Ali is so over that! She'd rather watch paint dry...

Elizabeth has trouble with knock-knock jokes.

Elizabeth is many colors of a rainbow. She's no vanilla!

THE QUOTABLE BACHELOR/ETTE:

"I'm very attractive. Vienna is the opposite of me." --Ca-razy Michelle

"I'm really fun." --Vienna Motel 6

"She's the life of the party." --Mavdork on Vienna Motel 6

"I can't be strong 100% of the time." --Mavdork

"I'm on cloud Jake right now!" --Vienna Motel 6

"Settle down, I'm not the Bachelor!' --Jon Lovitz

"When I finally kiss Jake it will definitely be long and passionate, soft, crazy tongue-in-your mouth, goin' crazy, pulling hair, ripping the clothes off!" --Totally CA-RAZY Michelle

"I really think she doesn't need a husband, she needs a therapist first." --Elizabeth on Michelle

"I'm trying to make all of these women happy. I'm not a serial dater." --Mavdork

"You gotta give me something more than that. Are you kidding???! That was NOTHING!" --Ca-Razy Michelle on Mavdork's Kiss

LET'S FALL HEAD OVER HEEL'S TOGETHER

Vienna and Jake

Memorable Moments:

The two people who are afraid of heights go on a...bungee jumping date! Never saw that one coming...

Little does she know, those witches back at the house wish Vienna would jump out of that helicopter!

Vienna thinks Mavdork is out of his mind!

Jake has a semi-meltdown Mavdork-style and it went something like this: "I can't be....strong...100% of the time! Maybe like 99% or I can give you 10% but I....OH MY GOD...oh my God...OMG!!! That's reaaaaallly high. Really high and I don't think I can do this! Ohhh, Ohhh Mahahaha God, S#!%, shake, shake, shake, sooo dizzy...."

3 butt squats and they jumped off that bridge thingy! Weeeeeee!

They shared their first kiss. Upside down. Awe.

Jake thought that high-pitched girlie scream was his own. HA HA!

They drank out of glasses that were like 20 feet tall!

LOVE IS NO LAUGHING MATTER OR IS IT?

Corrie, Elizabeth, Ali, Tenley, Ashleigh, Jessie, Kathryn, Michelle and Jake

Memorable Moments:

Michelle nearly runs Jakeypoo over!

Ashleigh has a rather lame meltdown. It goes something like this: I'm pretty emotional! I put on a good front! I've got a great poker face. Ma ma ma poker face! Something came over me--now I'm a nervous girl with a big red nose. Whaaaaa! Clearly--I'm not happy right now! I'm on another planet. Whaaa. Sniffle." Whatever!

Ali's joke involved Tigger, Toliets, and Pooh. Uh. Okaaaaay...

Jessie insulted Greeks. And she didn't break any plates doing it. Da da dun!

Tenley can form herself into a pretzel minus the cheese dipping sauce.

Elizabeth has a POTTY MOUTH! Nobody wants to kiss that thing Miss f-thang!

Kathryn fakes Jake out for a kiss. He's still confused today about what just happened...

Hey Michelle, Jon Lovitz called. He wants his coconuts back! And quit trying to get a hole in one on his green! Or something like that...

The producers made Corrie insult Vienna Motel 6's hair extensions and her trash talking ways.

Sloshed Asleigh told some blond jokes...about herself!

The girls try to make a pact. Didn't involve any blood sisters or anything.

Ali and Michelle banter back and forth. I..CAME..HERE..TO..FIND..LOVE! and YOU'RE BEING MEAN TO ME RIGHT NOW...Whaa!

AAAAND then she crashed and burned! Sorry Mom, no grandkids just yet...

Michelle demands a kiss from Jakeypoo and inhales his lips. And that's all she got! He sends her packing off to her therapist! Well, the ABC therapist anyhow...

Vienna and Gia have a brief tiff. Gia calls Vienna out on being a drama queen. Vienna says all the girls are as fake as her hair extensions! Holla!


LET'S LIFT OFF TO ANOTHER WORLD

Ella and Jake

Memorable Moments:

Welcome Jake and Ella to Sea World where we serve...champagne!

Jake shows us he'd be a good dad by helping Ethan with his zipper. Then he helps rescue Ethan's fake plane.

Snooooooze!

THINGS TO PONDER:

What's with the off the shoulder tops!??!

Does anyone think Michelle is totally normal in her regular life and that was just a bad edit?

BACHELOR ACTIVITY #3
JAKE'S TIPS FOR KNOWING
WHEN YOU--YES--YOU ARE THE BACHELOR!


In case the camera crew, limos, and cheesy dates didn't tip you off...

When every girl you ask on a date says...yes!

You spend more time in a hot tub than anywhere else...

When the only other man you see and winks is Chris Harrison

When you're biggest dream of finding true love is about to come true.

Jenn:)

***Caps From Dreamer at Jokers. Thanks!***

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