Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Where's That Damn Staffer With the Cue Cards & Other Thoughts To Ponder...

Sorry ladies, the staffer that provides us with all of our cue cards has been let go...so we'll just have to WING it from here on out, like On the Wings of Love Style Wingin' it!


Number of times the word Amazing was choked out: 7!

Corrie's fashion "bible" is In Style! Like totally!

There's nothing like a curtain to bring out the playful side of Mavdork!

Jake has a kissing routine. It goes something like this: kiss, smile, laugh lines, kiss, smile, more laugh lines!

Ali's a J girl! Jim! Jason! Jared! Jordan! Aaaaaand Jake! And that's no Joke...

Tip for the Guys! When Michelle feels ignored, she'll totally pack her bags!


"This is going to be the best first date with my future husband." --Not Christina

"I'm officially freaking ouuuuuut. I'd rather be doing a math test." --Christina

"We have a bikini BUSTA!" --Gia

"Diiiiiamonds. Diamonds. Diamonds. Diamonds. Diamonds! Oh mahahahaha goodness. WOW." --Michelle

"I wish she hadn't had quite as much to drink." --Jake...like...so disappointed in Christina

"I'm starting to feel like a lepper!" --Rozlyn

"I hope you're not afraid of daredevil stuff." --Mavdork

"I promise you're in good hands." --Jake to Ali (Oh boy...)

"Jake is my man, he just doesn't know it yet!" --Ashley

"I have been waiting my entire life to meet a guy like Jake." --Vienna Motel 6

"I think the girl's crazy! She's friggin' Debbie Downer every single day all day!" Vienna Motel 6 on Michelle

"Can I get my rose back?? Whaaaa!" --Jake


"WHAAAT are you doing?! You're supposed to be with ME!"

"I'm the woman he's been looking for!"

"I'm not ordinary like the other women."

"I'm the nice girl everybody hates!"


Corrie, Gia, Rozlyn, Christina, Valishia, Ashley and Jake

Memorable Moments:

Oh boy it's an SUV limo!!!

Lots of giggles. TOO MANY GIGGLES. Make them stop!

Jake has a pal named Hal.

Christina has a meltdown. It goes something like this: "I'm freeaaaking ouuuuut! A photo shoooooot...not gonna lie...nervous...Roz is like so HOT! Got hives...aaaaa...my hands are disgustingly dripping with sweat like a 5 YEAR OLD GOING TO RECESS WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lemme finish my drinky poo...jump off a cliff...am I at Prom?! What's going on?!??...whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"

Rozlyn hikes her leg and shows off her "cha cha."

Ashleigh practices her bikini pageant walk for Mavdork.

Playing chicken in the pool. Another fine Bachelor/ette moment we couldn't live without. Or not...

He totally must have an ABS clause in his contract! That and playing peekaboo with a curtain ;)

Christina gets sauced! BIG TIME. And a conversation with a tipsy Christina goes something like this..."Like...so excited...like...to be here...like you're such an AMAZING guy...like yeah...like CA-RAZY!!! Like da na na na na...na na na na...na NAAAA! I'm the BABY! Like...hmmmmm, ding, ding, ding...like I'm soooo the NORMAL one! My ta tas aren't...like...out to play...like..."

Mavdork demanded Rozlyn freeze on that roof top while he rode up and down the elevator like 10 times before returning with a rose shoved down his butt--thorns and all!


Ali and Jake

Memorable Moments:

Ali's the luckiest girl in the world! Because when you're scared of flying, getting to fly is such good luck! Or so the 7th glass of cheap champagne told her.

Totally didn't see this one coming, now did you?! "On the wings of loooooove. Only the two of us. Together flying hiiiiiigh!" Not counting the staffers in the back of the plane of course...

Ali is totally flying high. On wings. Of Love. No sweetie, that's the stinky cheese that's got you all verklempt...

Surprise! Golly Gee! You get to run a mile barefoot across this polo field with your ta tas bouncing out of your strapless gown so we can dance to...CHICAGO!!!!!!!!! Totally your parent's favorite classic band! Woohoo! Sexy!


Elizabeth NE, Jessie, Kathryn, Ashley, Vienna and Jake

Memorable Moments:

Mavdork is looking for his best friend! Because best friends like to hang out at amusement parks. And write notes to each other!

Loved the jaws style scary elevator music!

Elizabeth writes Jakey Boy a note! It goes something like this "So sneaky! I am! I've poured my heart and soul into this ratty piece of paper I stole from Rozlyn's staffer friend. I like to write real tiny! Totally not a sign that I've got any issues at all! Nope, not me, so let's play a game! You can't kiss me until you pick me! Ha. Ha. Sucker! PS: Let's have a really cheesy moment later together for laughs!" Like this one:

Being engaged to a Pastor's son while in high school and then running off to marry a man you don't know is either appalling or hilarious according to Vienna. Okay...

Ashley is a few margaritas short of knowing when not to interrupt!

Elizabeth, the TYPE-A NOTE TASK MASTER, lectures Vienna on using her time with Mavdork wisely! Like duh Vienna!

Ashley and Jake bond over their cheesiness. Big laughs!

Mavdork makes out with Elizabeth's forehead! Sexy!


"F--- her!" --Ali on Rozlyn. Classy!

Harrisoncrest freaks! He's got extra lines to memorize for the rose ceremony! Totally without his cue card staffer. Need a champagne glass and a knife STAT!

Rozlyn gets booted for an "inappropriate relationship" with a staffer! See, he thought while he was taking breaks from creating cue cards like "AMAZING" and "JOURNEY" and "HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS" that it was also his job to give the girls a test ride for Jake! Okay...


Did anyone else notice how Jake kept keeping his hands behind him when Ashleigh was wrapped around him like a python in the pool? Looked totally romantic. Totally...

Why didn't Jake want to talk to Rozlyn to get her side of the story?

Who was the scary guy helping Rozlyn pack?

Has Chris Harrison ever had this many lines in one episode ?!??

If Jake had kept Rozlyn, who do you think he would have sent home!?


Jake stated in an interview that he's memorized all the lines in Top Gun! Okey Dokey Then!

1. "I feel the need! The need for speed!"

2. "That's a negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full!"

3. "Hey Goose! You big stuuud!"

4. "Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash!"

5. "Take me to bed or lose me forever!"


***Caps From Dreamer at Jokers. Thanks!***


Anonymous said...

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done today..........................

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Hahahahaa. I like your writing style.... You make me laugh! :-) I've added your link on my Wordpress blog.


The Girl In The Red Heels said...

Thanks Erin!