Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Mr. Dateless Shaves On A Barrel & Other Thoughts To Ponder

Guess what ladies?! You get to ride around in an RV! And you've only got one hour to pack! Yes, Gia, there is a shower! Woohoo. Or not.

LIKE TOTALLY FUN FACTS:

Ella thinks the RVs are so "dang excitin'!"

They're all carrying their dead dried roses along with them. Awe.

Ali and Vienna are like Tyson and Holyfield according to Gia.

Tenley thinks flannel makes a boy (Mavdork) a man--so rugged!

Camping is a huge part of Jake's life. Seriously...

Tenley can howl like a wolf with the best of 'em!

Jake's the best one-handed smores cooker Gia knows!

Ali likes to vomit in her mouth when Vienna gets a rose. Just for kicks!

Jake likes his girls dirty! And he likes to say the word dirty--like at least 50 times!

Ashleigh thinks Tenley may be psychotic because she's bubbly 24-7!

There's nothing better than a sexy lumberjack (Mavdork) according to Ali!

She's not a gossiper, but Jessie's totally a gossiper!

THE QUOTABLE BACHELOR/ETTE:

"I'd rather ride in a bike behind the RV than be with Ali and Tenley." --Vienna Motel 6

"I am ready to get my relationship with Jake rolling down the highway of love." --Ella

"We are probably going to be the most disfunctional family that has ever driving down the California coast." --Corrie

"Have your fun with him cause I'm gonna marry him!" --Vienna Motel 6

"I love dirty girls!" --Mavdork

"I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. Vienna needs to go home!" --Ali

Tonight's cheesy moment brought to you by Whiskey Barrels and Flannel--so AMAZINGLY rugged! Jake shaving on top of a whiskey barrel at a winery. Okaaaay...

LET'S GO OVER THE MOON AND BE UNDER THE STARS

Gia and Jake

Memorable Moments:

Gia wears stillettos to a picnic.

They play hide-and-seek in the winery. Classic!

Gia wonders if Jake's out of breath after playing hide-and-seek for like 2 minutes.

Gia used to have her shoes stolen and Jake was Mr. Dateless in high school. Hmmm.....

They play spin the wine bottle for two--lots of giggles and kisses. Gag!

Gia says that was the BEST kiss of her life. Uh yeah...

Jake seriously wanted to see how Gia would handle camping and eating hot dogs. Because you know in NYC, they don't have hot dogs. Not on stands on street corners. Nada! No siree!

Mavdork can start a fire!

Gia wants to pull a Jolie and adopt a kid from another country--China! Then she throws a pot belly pig in there for good measure--just to help seal the deal. Oh yeah!

NEXT STOP--FALLING INN LOVE

Jessie, Ashleigh, Tenley, Ali, Vienna, Corrie and Jake

Memorable Moments:

This date is so dirrrrty!

Lots of squealing! Make it stop!!!

Jessie gets her dune buggy stuck in the sand.

They go sand surfing and face plant in the sand!

Jake and Corrie go rolling together in the sand. And Tenley's little blue birds and animal friends follow them all the way down singing and chirping a la Disney! Awe!

Corrie in a very un-Disney-like moment slaps Jake's ass!

Ashleigh practically lays on Jake trying to get a kiss and he's as stiff as board! And we were bored!

Vienna wants to talk to Jake last! Prompting America's "sweetheard" Ali to rant, "What the F%@& is WRONG with that girl!? Seriously!!?"

Tenley practically lays her boob on Mavdork's face. He seems oblivious. Hmmm....

Mavdork lectures Vienna that she eggs on all her troubles!

2 GIRLS. 1 ROSE. 1 STAYS. 1 GOES. YO HO HO! --Chris Harrisoncrest

Kathryn, Ella and Jake

Memorable Moments:

Jake lights their way with an old-timey lantern!

Jake and Ella drink red wine. Kathryn has to be different and demands white!

Kathryn's just a sad sack third wheel!

Jake is so lost in Kathryn's beauty and those eyes! So he sends her packing and then burns the rose into oblivion! OH HAPPY DATE!

I'm totally praying that you'll decide not to give out of one your roses!!! This is sooooo going to make for TV Drama!!! Yeehaw! --Chris Harrisoncrest

Vienna gets a rose. Ali has a meltdown and it goes something like this: "Why IS SHE HERE!?? How could he possibly KEEP HER HERE!??? If that's what HE WANTS, I AM NOT WHAT HE WANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How can he look at her and think she could be his wife??!? How the F#@& could he look at her and think that!?!?" WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

So does Ashleigh: "Vienna! Over ME!!!?? Are you F#@&!%& kidding me?!!? I PITY HIM! PLEASE, SPARE ME!" Whatever!

THOUGHTS TO PONDER:


Do you think Ali likes yellow or is that all they had on sale at Dress Barn?!??

BACHELOR ACTIVITY #4:
GIA'S SPIN THE BOTTLE GAME RULES

1. First kiss=cheek
2. Second kiss=lips
3. Third kiss=all the way!

And don't forget Gia's magic spin! Follow these rules and you might just have THE BEST kiss of your entire life!

Jenn:)

***Caps From Dreamer at Jokers. Thanks!***

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