Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Men Tell All (Or Nothing At All...)

Oh nooooooooo! They're back next week. Those shorty shorts and those gratuitous underwater crotch shots! Please, make it stop!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, was it the men tell all...or did they tell nothing?! Nothing of consequence anyhow. We still don't have a clue what happens next week except that there's no way Jillian is picking Kiptyn! As for ED with 2 girlfriends, is Jillian his 3rd on his way to starting a harem? Kinda hope not for her sake! Reid's come back as a possible F1? In his own words: Maybe, Possibly, Soy Grande!

So how did they describe our last 3 dudes? Jillian has finally learned to trust Kippy. Reid isn't ready to commit. And ED had trouble in the fantasy suite. But notice, what they didn't dwell on! They didn't go into the whole fantasy suite disaster with ED nor the green mankini. Not a peep was shown on that. Hmmm...

Jillian and Harrisoncrest chatted. Jason and Molly made a gratuitous appearance. She's still going to move to Seattle. Totally. Then the best part was the cavemen who took the stage!

Back to dish the dirt were: Mathue, Sasha, Mike, Tanner P, Michael, Tanner F, Mark, Dave, Brian, Robby, Juan, Jessie, and Jake. What, no BILBRO?!!?

Aside from some Wes bashing, Dave and the Dudes vs. Juan, The Dudes vs. Jake, and Man Code 101, there wasn't a whole lot to dish about. So I'll leave you guys with a TOP 30 list in honor of Jillian's 30 Dudes:


1. Did you count 'em? All those boos for Wes! Had to have been at least a hundred. I stopped counting at like 99...

2. According to Jilly, if the worst thing a guy does is want to suck on some toes, she doesn't really give a rip! So take that Harrisoncrest!

3. Jillian's 2nd toe is larger than her 1st toe. Okay...

4. Jillian lost her marbles somewhere along this journey. I think it was in Vancouver. The Ogopogo has them now. Must find the Ogopogo!

5. When Jillian laughs really hard, she needs to wear Depends!

6. Ed's a regular Fred Astaire when he's sloshed!

7. Mark's a wicked snowball fighter.

8. Holy Crap! Reid needs some help in the Hula dancing department...

9. Tanner P's take on the guys? They're disgusting! They F-A-R-T and they don't take care of their feet! Nasty!

10. Both Tanners bond over their name. Awe.

11. Michael's impression of Robby? "What up! I'm drunk!"

12. Mark's suggestion for Jake to be more normal and not so perfect? Go see an R-rated movie!

13. Perfect Jake--leader of the Nice Guys Brigade--tells Sasha to go F-Off. Then he ran and cried over a railing...

14. According to Tanner F, on a scale of 1 to Mesnick, Jake's crying in Austin was a Straight Up Mesnick!

15. When Jake dropped an F Bomb, Harrisoncrest felt the need to drop one too!

16. Juan admits he only partly faked a shot--he drank like half of it!

17. Dave violated his own Man Code by dating Jillian who was seeing all those other dudes at the same time! Oops!

18. Dave wonders after a month, what's wrong with complimenting a girl's Ass?

19. Harrisoncrest feels the need to speak for all women. Ha. Ha.

20. David's take on Jake storming in on Wes and Jillian's hometown visit? "You cried like a little GIRL!"

21. Tanner P does his best Wes impression A-GAIN, "Ladda Dee, Ladda Da..."

22. Mike's take on Wes? He's not smart enough to trick Jillian!

23. There were zero Wes supporters in the audience. That's their story and they're sticking to it...

24. Jillian was wearing Mango-Get-Em by L'Oreal. So was I. It's catchy I must say, less harsh than my usual fuschia!

25. Seeing Juan the Teetotaler get beat up on every week by Man Code Dave broke little Jilly's heart!

26. Dave sincerely apologized to Jillian for telling her that she had a nice Ass. Oh the horror!

27. Juan can't let Jillian go without letting her know that he thinks her feet are hot too! And if she ever wants a chum to go get a mani and pedi with, he's there! Awe.

28. The dudes were apparently pretty gassy group. Classy!

29. Jillian loves pepperoni! In fact,when ED couldn't please her in the fantasy suite, she ate a whole case of pepperoni! Mmmm. Damn that's stuff's good!

30. Jillian? She's extremely happy. We'll see...

Next week on the MOST DRAMATIC FINAL ROSE CEREMONY EVAAAAAAAAAAAH, Reid returns! Boy is this finale going to be MUCHO GRANDE!

Until then, read about more behind the scenes from the Men Tell All that we didn't see!


***Caps from Dreamer at Jokers. Thanks!***

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