Tuesday, July 7, 2009

"I'm Big?! I'm Big! Awesome!" & Other Thoughts To Ponder...

Wow. Guess Nancy clueless finally got a clue and that clue was that Wes was there for the "wrong reasons." Or for the cheesy bike ride. Or for the whiskey and yeehawin' good times. Or something like that. But, at least in Spain they know his naaaaaaaame :

Well they call me the fireman, that's my name.
Making my rounds all over town, putting out old flames.
Well everybody'd like to have a what I got.
I can cool 'em down when they're smold'ring hot.
I'm the fireman, that's my name.

WICKED FUN FACTS:

Kippy makes Jillian's heart AND jaw drop to the floor.

Jillian likes that Kippy has like a 8 pack or a 9 pack or a 12 pack or whatever those strange bulges are!

Jillian thinks caution tape is fab. It's just the kind of stuff she loves!

There was a 3-1 sale on TANK TOPS apparently...

When Jillian was 8 she babysat the whole neighborhood AND made them all help her search for the Ogopogo!

Jillian likes to get in bed like most Canadian's climb mountains. She just gets right up and climbs that sucker straight down the middle!

Jillian and Reid suck at Spanish.

Wes only packed about 5 shirts and his one pair of jeans for the entire 6+ weeks of taping!

THE QUOTABLE BACHELOR/ETTE:


"Flamenco and me should never hang out again!" --Kippy

"You were a little tight in the crotch Kiptyn. Ha. Ha." --Jillian

"I'm big? I'M BIG! Awesome! Soy Grande!" --Reid

"Let's roll!" --Ed

"I'm sooo gullible." --Jillian

"It's 1 Bed Ed!" --Jillian

"You say that to all the boys!" --Wes Shady

"It ain't me dude. It ain't me." --Wes Shady

"I can't waste any more time on Wes!" --Jillian

MADRID, SPAIN

Jillian and Kip

Memorable Moments:

The race to do the lift and twirl was enough to make you hurl!

Kippy throws down an AMAZING!

Jillian thinks a proposal would be FUN. Ridiculously COOL. Like totally!

Kippy takes a liking to the TIGHT flamenco dancer's pants he has to wear right down to the zipper that he broke...

Tight pants picks up Jillian and carries her off somewhere!

They butt scooter helmets while attempting kissy face.

Grandpa (Kippy) drives about 5 miles per hour!

Grandpa slams into a pole with his scooter. Then he couldn't get his helmet off. Spanish Wine Boozer!

When you're tight in the crotch it's only natural to chat up having kids!

A good sign of fine escargot is gulping down half a glass of wine afterward ;)

Jillian suggests Kippy is like her father. And since her mother wears the pants in the family sometimes, she's worried Kippy might get wussy on her Canadian bad Ass self! Because she needs a strong man to help her search for the Ogopogo!

When they get the fantasy suite card from Chris Harrisoncrest Out, Kippy is worried Chris didn't discuss this with Jillian first...

SEVILLE, SPAIN

Jillian & Reid

Memorable Moments:

"Hola Mi Amore!" produces a big SQUEEEEAAAAAL!

Reid puts a pretty flower in her hair. Awe.

Reid doesn't know a whole lot of Spanish but he does know that he's muy "SOY GRANDE" as in "BIG" And that's AWESOME!

Reid mistakes a picnic basket for a "man bag" - sort of like a SOY GRANDE version of a Seinfeldesque "European Carryall"

When she's with Reid, she practically has to pee herself laughing!

They're so giggly!

Jillian lights a fire under Reid's butt. Her words...

Even the shrimp couldn't save Reid from Jillian's tough questions.

She turned down the fantasy suite but he has his own room key in his back pocket! Sly, that one!

Reid gives Jillian a piggyback ride and tells gullible Jillian that guys do that in Philly! You can just hop on their back and they'll show you around the city. HAHAHA. That visual was like the funniest thing ever!

SEVILLE, SPAIN

Jillian & Ed

Memorable Moments:

Jillian's shorts look half wet--apparently from peeing herself on her dates with Reid...

Ed paints a picture for Jillian on what a Chicago hometown date would have included--KARAOKE! Woohoo.

They make out for like 2 hours in a fountain with tourists gawking nearby. Classy!

He tells her some place is like 5000 years old. She buys it. So gullible!

"Hot dogs! OMG they're everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!"

While discussing the fantasy suite card, Jillian snacks on her nails. Ewe!

Ed realizes that if she leaves the fantasy suite, he can have that baby all to himself! Do they get ESPN in Spain?!

She informs him they're sleeping IN their clothes! He asks that she keep her stiletto heels ON. Or something like that...

BARCELONA, SPAIN

Jillian & Wes

Memorable Moments:

Wes is FIRED up!

BAD Ass goes on a BIKE ride and twangs some BELLS!

Jillian used her foot as a brake to stop her bike...Tanner P is cringing!

He keeps a respectable 10 feet from her at all times. She chews with her mouth open. He picks food from his mouth with his fingernail. She demands he move somewhere to live with her. He notices a bird has no foot. He spills his beer and wets himself. She tells him to move his butt and cleans up after him. Okaaaay...

He creepily sits at the dinner table with his fingers glued to his temple!

He's numero uno baby!

He talks about his girlfriend...er...EX girlfriend. Ooops!

GETTING ROSED:

Ed, Reid, and Tight Pants Kiptyn

LEAVING US:

Wes and another spiffy brown jacket! He's got his dog and his band to go home to! And he's going to french kiss one and brush the other's teeth. Just sayin'

THINGS TO PONDER:

Is the caution tape we keep seeing in the foreground of Jillian and Kippy in the recaps like a theme here?

Is Kippy too perfect? Is Reid taking things too slow? Is Ed too in love with his career!? What's a girl to do?

Did Jillian and Reid have incredibly short waiters or was their table up on some kind of pedestal?

So did Wes really have a girlfriend or what's the story morning glory?

OK, so we're supposed to believe that Jillian wasn't ready for some of these overnight dates in the fantasy suite but in about a week in Hawaii she will be?! Okaaaay...

Is there some reason Ed can't look Jillian in the eye about 99% of the time he's spouting off?!

BACHELORETTE ACTIVITY #7:
HOW TO RUN, LIFT, AND TWIRL YOUR
WOMAN LIKE A PRO

Run fast. But don't run into your woman!

Swing wide with your left leg!

Grab her solidly around the chest area...

Start to twirl--but avoid tripping on
any pesky cement curbings!


Swing her out wide but avoid passersby!

Try to disentangle yourself from her due to
incessant LOUD SQUEALING!


But wait, watch out for the spread eagle leg maneuver!
Drop her before they wrap around your hips! Aaaaaaaaand done!


Jenn:)

***Caps From Dreamer at Jokers. Thanks***

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