Monday, June 29, 2009

"She's Just An Innocent Girl Trying To Find Love" & Other Thoughts To Ponder...

The return of ED! Woohoo! Who here thinks he's final 1 or the next bachelor?! But alas, that's a mystery for another show down the road. We've got another mystery to solve and that's the darned girlfriend puzzler once a-GAIN! Clearly we've got Nancy Clueless trying to solve this one and even Jake Hardy can't drive a clue home to silly Jilly. She's got Wes fever and that don't come eaaaaaaaaaaassssssssy! Yep. Cheesy!

THE QUOTABLE BACHELOR/ETTE:

"She's knocked me off my feet pretty good." --Michael

"Wes is a deceiver." --Jake, Leader of the Nice Guys Brigade

"I don't deserve all this $#!&!" --Jillian

"I straight up love that girl!" --Michael

REID'S HOMETOWN

Memorable Moments:

She squeals! A-GAIN!

MaReid Poppins points around at the sights in Philly with his spiffy umbrella and then they pop that baby open and take a ride over to his parents' house! Or something like that...

Reid's dad tells him to fall head over heels and take that darn risk!

Reid really likes to know what everyone else thinks before he makes a decision.

"Who wants cake?!" --Reid changing the subject...

MICHAEL'S HOMETOWN

Memorable Moments:

Michael has a twin bro - Double YO!

The sight of Jillian makes Michael do a ho-down jig.

When MIKE YO and DOUBLE YO switch places, Jillian is on to their scheme! And she demands MIKE YO immediately change back into his spiffy untucked blue shirt!

It's a swing dance off and hip buster in the family room!

KIPTYN'S HOMETOWN

Memorable Moments:

More squealing! Yay!

Kippy's family put caution tape around the hot tub! Ha. Ha.

Jillian's afraid she's just a hillbilly around Kippy's family.

The big family test to pass?! Taste testing Olive Garden Lasagna vs. Kips's Father's Lasagna. And Grandma's cheap wine vs. some fancy Frenchy wine.

Grandma's cheap Strawberry Hill wine got tossed in the bushes!

Did Kippy's sister just tell Kippy to get Jillian PREGNANT?!

They sing a rousing chorus of the Bachelorette Blues. It usually sets in once the show is done filming. Like a post-partum kind of thingy...

Kippy and Jillian take a dip in the tub after Kippy cuts the caution tape with some handy gardening shears. His intense and intimidating mom watches from the window. AWKWARD...

JESSE'S HOMETOWN

Memorable Moments:

If Jillian thinks she's a hillbilly, then that tractor ride was right up her alley!

Jesse's brother is rockin' the Grizzly Adams look. We're talking What Not To Wear Makeover In The Making...

Jacob: "Do you love this chick?! Does she want babies?" Classic!

Jesse has a shell that needs some crackin'!

Jacob actually asks Jillian if she and Jesse have been NAKED together yet!!!!!! WTH. And then she actually just pops off with this GEM: "No, we don't get like that for AWHILE!" Okaaaay...

Another goofy yet so endearing dancing around the family room moment with Jesse on drums, Jacob on guitar and Jillian on the tambourine! Then Jesse nearly impales his brother Jacob with a drumstick...

Jesse compares his and Jillian's relationship to a wine. You know, one that's flat...

WES' HOMETOWN

Memorable Moments:

Wes has another family--his BAND!

Jillian's stoked!

He's got a new CD coming out!

She's rocking that jean jacket and RED boots!

He's got his initials "WH" on his guitar strap!

She's dancing a jig, drinking some beer!

His music is his church. No drug, no woman is like being on stage Baby!

Jillian lets out a kind of odd combo Woohoo/Yeehaw after hearing Wes sing A-GAIN!

Wes invites Jillian to jump on his love train!

He's not a good liar, he likes her a lot, she's his type, here for the right reasons. Blah Blah. Blah.

JAKE vs. WES AT THE OK-HOLIDAY INN CORRAL

After flying in to confront Jillian about Wes' girlfriend, Jake decides he'd better call Tanner P and double check his facts one last time. "Am I doing the right thing? Did he say he HAS a girlfriend or HAD a girlfriend...That depends on what the definition of IS is?! If I'm wrong --I'm gonna cry on the balcony...Click..."

Jake visits Jillian--and his whole body goes NUMB! He pauses. He laughs nervously. CUT! Take 25, Jake finally spills the beans! Mystery solved! No Jillian, Wes isn't GAY! (SHEESH! Where did that come from?) The guy with the girlfriend is...WES! Her name? Laurel. Hmmm...

Enter Wes. "What's shakin baby?"

She accuses him. Outs Jake as a tattler. Bites her nails. Calls Jake Hardy and gives him his cue.


Enter Jake with the "$#!#" Eatin' Grin!

Jake and Wes keep a distance of 20 feet at all times per the show's rules.

Jake wants Wes to look him in the eye! Something about Laurel and Wes thumping Jake HARD on the back of the head at the rose ceremony after Tanner P blabbed all.

Wes is totally confused. He denies it all. That's crazy man!

He said. He said.

"She's just an innocent girl trying to find looooovveeeeeee!" --Jake as he sobs all over the hotel balcony like that dork Jason did! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

So what does a humiliated girl do!? Wes is smooth, mentions Jillian's sexy EYES. She takes Wes back, hook, line, and sinker! Is anyone else out there finding this just a bit bizarre/possibly drummed up?!!?

And as for Jake? According to Wes Shady, he's a "Backstabbin' piece of $#!%!" Okaaay...

GETTING ROSED:

Reid, Kip, Ed, and Wes and his brown suit jacket.

LEAVING US:

Jesse and his love juice. But at least he's got a cynical brother to go home to!

Michael and his broken heart! He can't say a bad thing. Classy!

THINGS TO PONDER:

What flavor was Reid's birthday cake?

Is Wes a producer pick!? Call me crazy for thinking that...

Anyone else notice Reid's giant smile when Ed walked into the Rose Ceremony?

Any clue what the hundred thousand things are between Jillian and Michael that he loves?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Girl Friend Gate continues next week! Not A-GAAAAAAIN!

BACHELORETTE ACTIVITY #6:
Jillian & Her Cuz Tori's Negotiable &
Non-Negotiable List Includes...

Negotiable:

Don't have to live in Canada.

Acting as personal assistant can be endearing...

They can't lie about having a girlfriend unless they're really cuuuute!

Hair color in various shades, body art galore, and Buddy Holly's glasses okay...

Younger Dudes IF they're funny!

Non-Negotiable:

No hard drinkers with anger management issues!

No MAN CODE breakers!

If he has a twin, they can't play switcheroo. That's like sooo grade school!

They have to be willing to search for the Ogopogo on summer vacations at the lake!

No Younger Dudes if they're jobless...

Jenn:)

***Caps From Dreamer At Jokers. Thanks!***

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