Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Don't Violate MAN CODE! & Other Thoughts To Ponder...

Jilly is such a sparkly gal! She's just a perky little brown-haired Canadian! And that's so wicked! And AMAZING! Aside from all the cools, wickeds, awesomes, and killers we actually got a couple AMAZINGS to drink to! Woohoo!

There was drama. There were some naked scenes with those lame black out boxes. There were a lot of BLEEPS (thanks to David) and apparent violations of MAN CODE! And believe me, you DO NOT violate MAN CODE around this guy if you know what's good for ya! And, yes, the producers were hard at work doing what they do best--stirring up trouble!

WICKED FUN FACTS:

Bunking with 20 guys was like overnight camp to Reid. And those other 19 guys? Total meatheads!

It would not break Juan's heart if Michael let the door hit him on the way out...

Tanner P. has (some kind of) thoughts about Jilly in his head...

Jilly wears Eau de Herring (?) Perfume. It's a Canadian thing! Or something like that...

Jilly likes to refer to herself in the 3rd person!

It's a dream of hers to watch Martina McBride sing.

Lyrics from one of Martina's songs include this "Everyone calls you AMAZING..." That totally counts! Everybody drink!

Um...of all people, Tanner P. thinks Juan lacks testosterone and would only be good at badminton. Okay...

Jillian just wants to make out with Kip. A LOT!

And the award for the Guy Who's Not Here to Make Friends With The Other Dudes goes to...WES!

Bartender Robby's signature drink? The Rosmo! Sprite and Kool-Aid. Way to be original dude!

Reid is a Taurus. Jilly is a Capricorn. That's like a match made in Heaven. Awe.

Juan is not agressive. And the guys are so loud! Whaaaaa!

David thinks Juan is a snake.

Reid likes to carry around a...toothbrush in his pocket.

THE QUOTABLE BACHELOR/ETTE:

"Don't screw up!" --David

"What's up you little hottie?!" --Brian

"Snuck in like a little ninja didn't he!" --Brian

"This is &^%$# right now! Are you kidding me?!" --Brad

"Jillian's Smokin' Hot!" (TWICE!) --Brian

"Guys like that should get beat up!" --David

"There's no reason we shouldn't tie him [Juan] to a tree and beat the $#!% out of him!" --David

"That's MAN CODE!" --David

"I'm not here to kiss anybody's A$!" --Wes

JILLIAN'S MASTER PLAN

Jillian & TEAMS: Michael/Tanner P., Brian/Ed, Sasha/Mathue, and Brad/Wes

Memorable Moments:

Mathue can make his pecks dance!

Michael can't get over how unbelievable Jillian smells!

Proving once again that guys can't stop and ask for directions, they all just got in their little cars and drove off willy nilly! Like 5 hours later they decided to check out the map and get a clue. Doh!

Brian is not a patient guy! He prefers to break stuff and get right to the point...

Tanner P. & Michael are the two shriekiest girly guys ever on this show! If they'd been in drag, I wouldn't have batted an eyelash...but seriously, between shrieks, giggles, Michael literally peeing his shorts, and high fives, I think they stopped mid race to get a mani and a pedi and snarf down a couple of smoothies after shopping a boutique or two. But they were so STOKED about this challege! AMAZING Race, here they come! Gotta love it:)

Brad annoyed Wes. Wes like had no brains according to Brad! Wes wants to like backhand Brad! But Brad is much BETTER at rock/paper/scissors. So take that Wes!

Brian sweats like a hostage...For reals!

Wes is NOT there for the right reasons! Shocker...

Let's make the other guys jealous by letting them watch Wes kiss Jillian on a tiny TV monitor! Awe.


I'M LOOKING FOR A GUY WHO CAN CUT LOOSE!

Jillian & Jake

Memorable Moments:

Jilly wears the airplane wings on her dress that Jake gave her. Awe!

Jilly likes to dress--or undress-- a guy. And help him adjust his...belt!

Jillian does her best Coyote Ugly impression while dancing on the bar.

Jillian's amazed he's such a good two-stepper! (He's from TX silly Jilly girl! We learn that before we learn to walk!)

Jake is already talking soulmates AND marriage. Not a good sign...

He kisses her right in mid-sentence. Little awkward. But she liked it!

He wants to fly her to Belgium for...waffles!

Martina McBride serenades them and they dance the night away. Wes is so jealous! He sooo could have been networking...

IF YOU WANNA BE WITH ME, YOU HAVE TO PLAY BALL!

Jillian & Jesse, Mark, David, Mike, Simon, Kip, and Juan

Memorable Moments:

B-Ball with the Harlem Globetrotters!

Simon is terrible at basketball. And prouncing the letter "R." ;)

Juan lifts Jillian to make a basket. And then he totally DOESN'T drop her! He set her down gently like an Argentine butterfly. That's his story and he's sticking to it...

Juan redeems himself by rescuing a hanging Jilly from the b-ball rim.

The Harlem Globetrotters pick David as the best guy for Jilly. Juan thinks that was total BS! David totally wants to hit Juan! Down boys!

Silly Jilly jokes about what if one of the guys borrowed a bathing suit and ran into the water, that would so do it for her and then wheeeeeeee there goes Mike in a speedo he bummed off some Venice Beach dude right splat into 3 inches of water with a face full of sand. Jilly: "OMG, That was Frickin' classic. Frickin' AWESOME!" I think she totally meant to say AMAZING...

The guys chased a squealing Jilly around the beach.

JUAN vs. DAVID
...or as I like to call it: SHOT GATE!


David totally freaks. Juan poured his shot out and pretended to drink it. And this was like the 5TH TIME. Like WHO does that!? He has no respect for that 6' 3" CLOWN!

Dave's all about MAN CODE. And Juan's just violating it right and left! People like that drive Dave INSANE. It's like so disrespectful to not drink with others! Just say you don't want a shot, don't pretend dude. And Juan is not just wrong for Jilly. He's wrong for ANYONE! He should &^^%%$# go drown himself! Like NOW!

MORE ABOUT DAVID & MAN CODE:

As you can probably tell from his edit, Dave's not going to make it too far in this loveable little shindig we call the Bachelorette. But never fear! If he hasn't been arrested for being so darn cute and violent, he's going to be starring in his own reality show coming this Fall on ABC. It's called MAN CODE.

It'll be about a bunch of dudes hanging together. Drinking shots. And checking themselves before they wreck themselves! And the first &^%$# who violates MAN CODE each episode will get tied to a tree and have the $#!% beat out of their A$$! Because that's MAN CODE! HOLLA!

BRIAN'S DOWNFALL:

He stripped. Got naked. AND did the hump back whale in the pool. It was a bit chilly so he was...HUNG LIKE A LIGHT SWITCH. So not cool!

TANNER P'S FOOT PATROL:

His primary goal: Jilly wear's peep toes. And she does! So he grabs her feet and manhandles them. "Dude, I love feet! They're awesome!" He proclaims hers to be phenominal and throws in that of the Dudes, Sasha has the worst feet! Why? They're HAIRY! Eeeeewe!


BEST QUOTE:

"I saw a guy get buck naked & SHRINKAGE! WHOA! Did that just happen?!" --Tanner P.

LET'S VOTE OUT A DUDE!

Who did the guys most want to leave?

3rd place: Julien Who?
2nd place: David the Bully
1st place: Juan the Teetotaler

GETTING ROSES:

Wes, Juan, Jake, Mike, Jesse, David, Ed, Sasha, Mark, Michael, Tanner P., Kip, Reid, Robby, Tanner F., and Brad.

THINGS TO PONDER...


What were the other 2 things that Michael had to say about Jillian?

Is Wes there for the wrong reasons--like I don't know--hmmm...to promote his MUSIC CAREER?! Nah, couldn't possibly be the case... ;)

Gee, do you think David really goes on a "rampage" next week!? I mean he's probably totally a sweetheart in real life, right? Hmmmmm...

Julien voted 3rd? There had to have been something about this dude that the others didn't like that we never saw...

Who do you think voted for Chris Harrison to leave!? Champagne glasses can't vote. So that leaves me to guess: MICHAEL, SIMON, or BRIAN!

BACHELORETTE ACTIVITY #1:
THE ROSMO

Ingredients:

Ice
Sprite
Kool-Aid

Shaken, but not stirred. Just like Robby after Wes got through NOT kissing his A$! Or something like that...

Jenn:)

***Caps From Dreamer at Jokers. Thanks!***

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think Jill was saying her perfume was "Eau de Harris", (her last name), as a joke.

Who's That Girl? said...

Ah that's what it was:) I couldn't catch it, heard the "har" or "her" part and that was it. Funny.

Jenn:)