Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 8: Results

The less clothes the better--according to Chuck...Len would not last in Ty's world...They thought the mirror ball trophy would be nicer...You can find Edyta's earring on sale at eBay!...It's a heart breaker when you can't give 150%...And when Len gives a 9, that's progress!

Pick a Pro:

Bye Bye to Snow and Brent. Her'e some back stage passes to a Chuck Wicks concert as your lovely parting gifts, a spray tan coupon, and some body glitter! Woohoo!

Genya & Afton

Len: Lots energy
Bruno: Personality!
CA: Great partners for celebs!

Mayo & Anna

CA: Surprise, Surprise!
Len: Wrong twice!
Bruno: Everywhere!

Vote for your fav. My prediction: Genya all the way baby!

Bottom Two Are: (or are they...)

Melissa & Tony (as I suspected for drama...)
Chuck & Julianne

ELIMINATED: Chuck & Julianne
MY REACTION: This week or next, he was headed out the door...

Did you catch that hinky stuff at the end?! Chuck starts in on Melissa and her fans since SHE SCORED 5 POINTS LESS, but gives the fans kudos, then starts on the group dance when perky Samantha Harris pops in jokingly "Oh blame the group eh!" So Tom Bergeron jumps in to assure they all go out on a HIGH note. Uh huh, sure...Oh you know some serious ^%$# is going down behind the scenes with those Divas! ;)


Monday, April 27, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 8

Has CA gone blonde!? Injuries abounded--Gilles with his shoulder, Melissa with her rib action. Bruno showed us how to shake it and bake it! Gilles' hair gel scored a 10. And L'il Kim made out with the judges--showering them with air kisses...Plus we figured out Bruno--if he stands up for an ENTIRE critique, it's a 10!

Low to High Score Highlights:

Melissa & Tony

Bruno: 50% is performance/style
CA: Feel terribly, they were marking!
Len: Just marking, not much to work with...

Dangit Tony!

Score: 21
Prediction: They might have them in the bottom 2 tomorrow just to make us sweat it out--but I think they'll continue on!

Ty & Chelsea

CA: Woohoohoo! That was a Salsa!
Len: Wildest of Rides, it's time to hit the trail unless group dance is nailed!
Bruno: Went wild!

When he was like 9 he got so sunburned he had third degree burns! He had to explain the bride's nightie to Chelsea and when she got it, "Eeeeweee!"

Score: 24
Prediction: Should go tomorrow

Chuck & Julianne

CA: Definitely in the game!
Len: It's not how you start, but how you finish!
Bruno: Great bum action!

We're never going to win with this attitude!

Score: 26
Prediction: Might be in bottom 2 but expect them to last at least one more week.

Gilles & Cheryl

Len--French Toast, French Fries, Frenchy Lindy Hoppy
Bruno--Happy Days Are Here Again
CA: Fantastic

Like Jerry Lewis meets country bumpkin!

Score: 27
Prediction: Final 3 for sure, prediction final 2

Shawn & Mark

Len: Good but not good enough. Dress did most of the work.
Bruno: Not Lady Gaga yet but good
CA: Goal isn't to be Lady Gaga! Wonderful!

We got to bounce! Sizzle! Mark can't move like a girl... She swings her arms like baseball bats.

Score: 27
Prediction: Final 5 to 4

L'il Kim & Derek

Bruno: The bitch is back!
CA: Hello! Speaking English...Forte!
Len: Fire and Passion. Not "Oh No!" But "Ole!"

She's back with a vengeance!

Score: 28
Prediction: Might be the one to beat!?

Team Mambo

Lacey for Melissa & Tony, Shawn & Mark, & Julianne & Chuck

Len: Fun, entertainment, good job
Bruno: Shop in the women's department and wear it with pride!
CA: End distracting, music overpowered the dance

They're plan: to one up the shirtless Gilles! Enter the leotards! Or mantards!

Score: 25
Prediction: Melissa needed better!

Team Tango

Ty & Chelsea, L'il Kim & Derek, & Gilles & Cheryl

Bruno: Pack of voracious raptors!
CA: Team Tango takes it!
Len: Gilles' footwork was atrocious but Ty nailed it!

Team Mambo is a bunch of sissies and they're going down! So says Spray Tan Ty!

Score: 28
Prediction: Ty needed that!


Thursday, April 23, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 7: Results

On this show, you have to learn how to clock fast! L'il Kim can be herself so it's ON! Julianne was excited the judges liked Chuck's butt! Something about Ty and a train...As for Chuck, it took red satin PJs to tie Gilles! Ha, take that!

Pick a Pro:

Afton & Brent

Len: Crisp, clear, Aften had more flair...
Bruno: Dynasty for Aften, Popping? for Brent?!
CA: Brent has a great TV presence

Anna & Mayo

CA: Beautiful, understated quality
Len: Fantastic
Bruno: Waltz at its classic best

Snow & Genya

Bruno: He enhances, She's fire not snow!
CA: Fierce competitor=Snow
Len: He dances like a real man and it wasn't too raunchy for him!

Vote for your fav. My prediction: Genya & Afton do well in the voting!

Bottom Two Are:

Lawrence & Edyta
Ty & Chelsea

ELIMINATED: Lawrence & Edyta. Tee time excites him!
MY REACTION: He or Ty was expected...


Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 7

She's AMAZING! ;) Some group dance highlights: Ty's peace out and groovy talk sounded a tad sarcastic, eh;) ha! But he did coin a new dance craze around the nation: The Groovy Rider! And it stank like a bull! The group dance took Lenny back to his old London clubbing days in '64 when he was a sprite lad of just 20. Awe.

Low to High Score Highlights

Lawrence & Edyta

Bruno: Not terrible, but not brilliant
CA: More freedom in movement
Len: Shocked at how well he performed!

You look so good but your technique sucks! Refers to himself as "LT."

Score: 21
Prediction: Bottom 2

Ty & Chelsea

Bruno: Back in the game!
CA: Beautiful frame
Len: More rises and falls than a bride's nightie...Okay....

Jewel says he's a romantic! Here's some wildflowers, hold these!

Score: 24
Prediction: Bottom 2

L'il Kim & Derek

CA: Underwhelmed. Let it rip!
Len: Be still my beating heart!
Bruno: Like a margarita with no tequila! More raunch please!

Rumba baby! Aye carumba!

Score: 26
Prediction: Still final 3

Chuck & Julianne

Len: I liked it A LOT! Best so far!
Bruno: You must want it so badly!
CA: Jumps/High Fives/Kiss!

All I want is a 9!!!!!!!!

Score: 27
Prediction: Final 5 unless keeps improving!

Shawn & Mark

CA: Boppin
Len: Did a good job
Bruno: Cheeky little devil! A young Debbie Reynolds!

Tired and stressed!

Score: 28
Prediction: Final 4 unless keeps improving!

Gilles & Cheryl

Len: Overall great
Bruno: Something about Versaille and sex?!
CA: Most graceful male...

He likes to wear swim suits from the Viennese era...

Score: 28
Prediction: Final 1

Melissa & Tony

Len: Don't touch what you can't afford
Bruno: Something about magic tools and he needs a drink!
CA: Best Argentine Tango

She's a trooper with her bruised ribs!

Score: 29
Prediction: Final 2 unless her Bachelor fans storm the voting!


Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 6: Results

L'il Kim has some fighting words! Len gave the lowest week 6 paddle score ever! Edyta is allergic to clothes! Apparently if you put Derek in a paper bag, he'd still look hot... CA was rockin' the bangs look again. And it's all TY-riffic...

Bottom Two Are:

Steve-O & Lacy
Ty & Chelsea

ELIMINATED: Steve-O & Lacy
MY REACTION: About time!


Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 6

Better late than...never! ;)

First off...Queen Latifa in a bo-ring plaid shirt?!?? There was no cover girl glam about that--Girlfriend knew she was on TV right? ;) CA has taken Tom Bergeron's bang criticisms to note and her bangs were flying high!

Low to High Score Highlights

Steve-O & Lacey

CA: Oddly mesmerizing
Len: Can't confuse movement with dancing, no good!
Bruno: Thank God for Racy Lacy! Charm of a confused puppy. Dancing bad.

He's got a gas problem but he loves his dog. And he can have a romance with himself. Gross!

Score: 16
Prediction: Should be in bottom 2! And go home!

Ty & Chelsea

Len: Charming, bewildered, but does try 100%
Bruno: Line dancing was good, then the jive started. Like a wild animal.
CA: Couldn't find his footing. BUT, he's soooo cute!

Green trampoline + hula hoop=looser hips. Or something like that...

Score: 18
Prediction: Bottom 3 if not bottom 2

Lawrence & Edyta

CA: Got his groove back
Len: His personality has a lighter side!
Bruno: Alive and kicking!

D-----! F-Bomb! It was all down hill until Warren Sapp made a visit...

Score: 22
Prediction: Bottom 3

Chuck & Julianne

Bruno: I'd like some more of that please!
CA: Sexiest number of the night!
Len: More suitable for the bedroom than the ballroom--too raunchy!

Chuck thinks Julianne is a meanie!

Score: 23
Prediction: Last until final 5

Gilles & Cheryl

Len: Frantic
Bruno: Fast & Furious, like a Mad Squirrel!
CA: Arms are weird

Let's go crazy but it's not the Cancan!

Score: 26
Prediction: Final 2, probably final 1

Shawn & Mark

Bruno: Almost angelic, hint of the devil.
CA: Great job
Len: Just right

Awe. She got to go to Prom after all!

Score: 26
Prediction: Final 4, possibly final 3

Melissa & Tony

Len: Fabulous dancer
Bruno: Wants to see Melissa's inner maneater
CA: Emotional quality

He gives her an analogy about a 10-carat diamond ring being on her finger. Ha! She, uh, already gave that back....Oops! Her shirt slogan is a fav: Don't Mess With Texas! Amen to that!

Score: 27
Prediction: Final 2, #2

L'il Kim & Derek

Bruno: I'm guilty, arrest me! Frisk me!
CA: She jumped up flailing about so that she lost her bracelet!
Len: Too much story, not enough jive!

Note her two T-Shirt slogans: "This girl can shop" and "Shopaholics Anonymous."

Score: 28
Prediction: Final 3


Thursday, April 9, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 5: Results

Bruno's dance moves frighten Tom Bergeron! Did anyone notice Bergeron stepping on Samantha Harris' dress? Chuck's CA impression was AMAZING...

Dance Off: David Alan vs. Lawrence

David Alan & Kym

Len: Improved
Bruno: Should be in the dance off every week--good under pressure
CA: Felt the connection!

They planned from week 1 to be in the dance off in week 5 and so their evil plan has now succeeded!

Score: 24
Prediction: Should stay

Lawrence & Edyta

Bruno: Tip of Iceberg
CA: Loves his power
Len: Difficult music...

He looked like a transformer dancing!

Score: 20
Prediction: Should go. Blah!

ELIMINATED: David Alan & Kym
MY REACTION: Huh?! Lawrence was far worse dancer than David Alan, but clearly he has more of a fan base voting!


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 5

Len's a stranger in this country and he's quite the podiatrist plus he has peck envy! No booing CA for telling the truth now people! And Bruno is a regular John Travolta on the disco floor!

Low to High Score Highlights

Steve-O & Lacey

Len: Best dance--but don't get overexcited...
Bruno: Marcelle Marceau
CA: Emotional

It's Louise & the Jackass Crew. Or something like that...

Score: 18
Prediction: Should be in the bottom two just because of his voice!

Lawrence & Edyta

Bruno: Prince of Darkness!
CA: Intense
Len: Frightened me, best so far

If he can't feel the music it's like watching TV with the sound off!

Score: 20
Prediction: Bottom 2

Ty & Chelsea

Bruno: Dances like a transformer
CA: Stiff
Len: Not his cup of tea

Chelsea is as close to being a bull rider as Ty is to being a dancer!

Score: 21
Prediction: Stays another 2 weeks at least

David & Kym

Bruno: Like a dog lifting his leg on a lamp post
CA: Disconnected
Len: Story was good

Now he's a contender!

Score: 22
Prediction: Stay another week or two

Chuck & Julianne

Len: Came out of hibernation
Bruno: In command
CA: She's irritated it's not quite coming together!

He will become a great dancer! Or not...

Score: 23
Prediction: Sails by a few more weeks

Melissa & Tony

Len: Excellent dancer, Lacked agression
Bruno: Carmen--a heart breaker!
CA: Little off balance...

No big cheesy grins allowed! And she's too nice for a Paso...

Score: 25
Prediction: Still in final 2

Shawn & Mark

CA: Beautiful
Len: He gets booed for tellin' the truth!
Bruno: Pretty as a picture

She falls a lot in practice...

Score: 26
Prediction: Final 5

L'il Kim & Derek

CA: Beauty
Len: Floating Quality
Bruno: Sassy & Sexy!

She's into her Voodoo board. Or some crazy &^%$ like that...

Score: 26
Prediction: Final 5

Gilles & Cheryl

CA: Breathtaking
Len: Tad hectic and the missing top a bit much
Bruno: Battle for supremacy! Going for the kill! Sexual Tension!

He's hot. That's all I got!

Score: 29
Prediction: Final 2, winners!


Thursday, April 2, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 4: Results

Can we get a little more body glitter in here!?

Some Fun Facts From Some Of Our Celebs:

Ty isn't scared of a double elimination! Or snakes!

Steve-O is a total champion since the stress of the show hasn't caused him to get loaded yet. Yet...

There's no dance off--just a bottom three which included:

Steve-O & Lacey
Holly & Dmitry
The Woz & Karina

Leaving Us This Week: The Woz & Holly.
My Reaction: Shocker!

Lovely Parting Words:

Holly: The costumes were her favorite part!
The Woz: He wants to dance more with Karina. Ooh la la!