Monday, March 2, 2009

You're Such A Bastard! & Other Thoughts To Ponder...

Well folks, was the ending all that you ever wanted it to be!? Or was it a giant douche or perhaps a turd sandwich we've just been fed by the powers that be?! (South Park reference people!)

The bigger question, would I have enjoyed watching it unspoiled as to the ending or was it better knowing...? I'm just not sure what to say about the whole affair except make note of one thing that hits me funny that people are saying on the message boards like crazy tonight: "Brad Womack is just laughing his $%# off right now! Man this makes Brad look like a saint!" You guys are too funny! It's like a healing process with this show, like each new Bachelor redeems past Bachelors. Maybe that's the true meaning of this show: redemption! But I digress...On to the highlights if I must...

MELISSA & JASON +TY & JASON'S FAMILY

Memorable Moments/Fun Facts:

Oh no! Another Jason/Ty Roll in the...sand! Hmmm, a subtle theme this season...girls and Ty leaping into Jason's arms right and left! Next thing you know it will be Chris Harrison!

Jason just knows Ty will help him figure this out! (Ty later takes to Melissa but not so much Molly. But heck, what does that little guy know anyhow!?)

Jason pinches Melissa. Ouch!

Ty is quite the little TYger Woods and he even shows Melissa how to golf!

Joke #1: Knock Knock! Who's There? Hach. Hach Who? Bless you did you sneeze?!!?!?!?

Joke #2: Why is the sheep so shy? Because it's BAA-AAAshful! I give that an "Oh boy" and a "HOLY COW!"...

The big theme of Melissa's time with Jason and his family: Her missing parents! Sheesh Not that aGAIN!

MOLLY & JASON + TY & JASON'S FAMILY

Memorable Moments/Fun Facts:

Doh! Molly hasn't been around kids much...

Ty ignores Molly and won't give her a high 5! The nerve!

Ty finally warms up to Molly when she chucks a frisbie at that little brat!

Ty finds Molly a beach ring. Awe!

Molly asks Jason's brother if he's ready to move out of the house, cause she's Seattle bound!

Jason's Mom's advice, "Got to trust your gut!"

LAST CHANCE DATE: MELISSA & JASON

Memorable Moments/Fun Facts:

Melissa does her Dallas Cowboys cheerleader wrap-around maneuver on Jason yet again! In a red dress!

Jason & Melissa jump in frigid water and then shower together!

Melissa's parents have been found and they're willing to talk to Jason on the phone! Awe.

What, no gift?!

LAST CHANCE DATE: MOLLY & JASON

Memorable Moments/Fun Facts:

Even the umbrella's revolted at this sappy fest!

One hot oil body massage coming up!

Molly has a fairytale book she's created just for Jason! It starts out something like this, "Once upon a time there was a scary place called Fleissland where Prince Jason went to meet his true love. He signed away his dignity and decided to get fake engaged to Melissa but he's really going to pick me in the end. I know it, because the script says it! And therefore it must be so! In about 6 weeks I'm gonna be the luckiest girl in the world! The End."

Jason thinks this is an AMAZING gift!

MeAnna really wants Jason back? PALEEEASE! If you were trying to get a guy to take you back, would you show up in such an unflattering and dowdy outfit?! I think not! And I rest my case!

Jason on Molly: Those EYES! Got me. Tomboy gone pretty. Excitement. Rollercoaster!

Molly on Jason: "I think you made a big mistake."

Jason: See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!

THE QUOTABLE BACHELOR/ETTE:

"Being in love with 2 women SUCKS!" --Jason

Jason on Melissa: Always there. Sweetest. Genuine. Honest. Beautiful.

Melissa on Jason: I'm the happiest girl in the world!

Jason on Melissa: I'm the happiest guy in the universe!

AND HERE IT IS, THE SHOCKING ENDING
WE WEREN'T PREPARED FOR:

Jason, Melissa, and Ty jump into a pool! Fully clothed in formal wear! That is totally a Bachelor first, I tell ya! Oh wait! There's more?! ...

AFTER THE FINAL ROSE: PART 1

TOP MOMENTS:


Jason cries. A lot!

Jason on Melissa: "We're just not right for each other."

Jason on Molly: "I can't stop thinking about Molly"

Chris Harrison wants us to know that Jason's a good guy! Like totally!

Melissa looks like she knew this was coming!

Melissa on Jason: "You're such a bastard!"

And she totally seconds that Jason is not Mr. Perfect!

Jason has NOT seen Molly since the filming ended in New Zealand. For reals!

Melissa leaves the set after telling Jason, "Good luck with that ^%$#@ Molly!" At least I think that's what happened...

Molly is open mouthed for most of her segment with Jason and that doesn't include the kisses!

It's like a tennis match between Molly's AMAZING eyes to Chris Harrison back to Jason, back to Chris, to her lap, to Jason, back to Chris. Make it stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Molly to Jason "This is some CRAZY %$#@!"

And it ends with a simple Chris Harrisoncrest Out!

----

Stay tuned for the ATFR #2 tomorrow night:
The Jason & Molly Do Damage Control Show!

Jenn:)

***Caps From Dreamer at Jokers. Thanks!***

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jason's a scum-sucking S**T!!!

Alyson said...

You're hilarious! Love the recap.

I was praying to the lord almighty that Jason wouldn't do this. What a huge ass D-Bag. An even bigger D-Bag than when Amanda called Matt a D-Bag and got bleeped. Wait, they bleeped douche bag but not bastard? Awesome!

I hope some little kids were watching. ABC needs some angry mom letters, "My child asked me what a bastard is. Thankyouverymuch ABC!!!"

Ugh. I'm disgusted with this show. I can't say I won't watch it again as it's become about as laughable as VH1 "Blah of Love" shows in a "taking itself too serious sort of way".

Anonymous said...

Jason is a self centered immature boy. He chose the right woman. She has a heart of gold and a pure spirit and would have been a great mother. What Jason did to her is unspeakable. I only hope she will find a man that loves her for who she is and not what he thinks she should be. It troubles me that she says she will be more cautious next time. I say, be yourself, your love will find you, especially now that millions have seen you for the person you are.

Jenn said...

Yeah quite an ending that's for sure! I thought it was funny during Matt's season that they bleeped D-Bag and then of course let Melissa say Bastard. The whole mess just feels contrived in parts, very strange season that's for sure! I think a lot of us will continue to watch, if not just for the entertainment value!

Christina said...

Your recaps are hilarious!

Everyone is saying it today, I'll say it too... Jason IS a jerk.

I hope Melissa knows how much everyone feels bad for her, but we all know she Waaaaay better off!

She deserves so much better, and I do believe she'll find it.