Monday, March 23, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 3

The GREATEST judges in the WORLD.........!!!!! What a hot mess! Many sambas fell flat while the Foxtrot was almost foxy in the hands of some of our dancers! Did you think The Woz was going to nail it this week? Anyone? And what about that Samantha Harris! Several of our celebrities and profs just were plain snarky to her during her as usual useless back stage commentary!

Low to High Score Highlights:

The Woz & Karina

CA: Cute but novelty has worn off. Like a crazy uncle at a party!
Len: Dancing is killing you!
Bruno: On your knees and...beg for forgiveness! The worst he's ever seen!

I think he's one hot mess!

Score: 10
Prediction: Should go home next week...

She is to dancing as Smirnoff is to Vodka. Or something like that...

Steve-O & Lacey

Len: Ovation
Bruno: Fell into pieces
CA: In genuine pain

Aaaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaa! Bleep Bleep Bleep Bleep. B.L.E.E.P.

Score: 15
Prediction: Bottom two or three?

Denise & Maks

Len: Needs more of a Latin tick...
Bruno: So flat and full of holes. More waffle than a samba!
CA: That girl was frightened to death!

From bad boy to samba queen, Maks' pecks couldn't keep his Chiquita Banana top up.

Score: 16
Prediction: She's clunky but won't go home next week.

Holly & Dmitry

CA: Was rough to watch, disjointed
Len: Like a match: hot at top, wooden on the bottom
Bruno: Plenty to look at!

Her partner kinda threw her under the bus, "It's hard!" She doesn't want to get an F...for failure...

Score: 17
Prediction: Will make it through another week.

Lawrence & Edyta

Bruno: He's got rhythm!
CA: Twinkle in his eye...
Len: A little more hip rhythm

He had to give up his golf game!

Score: 20
Prediction: Will stick around awhile!

Chuck & Julianne

Bruno: Finally in the driving seat!
CA: Could possibly be a contender...
Len: Good but not great yet!

He's a potato farmer, not a dancer, that's how he rolls...

Score: 23
Prediction: Won't go home next week, improving!

Ty & Chelsea

CA: Most improved, smooth
Len: Top notch
Bruno: Out of a stiff piece of wood comes a mini Fred Astaire!

Pretty cool huh! He's got a "cool face" on!

Score: 23
Prediction: He'll improve until the next Latin dance...

David Alan & Kym

Bruno: Broadway foxtrot
CA: Like a Rockette!
Len: Best dance so far

A vop and a jizzle. For snizzle. Or something like that...

Score: 24
Prediction: Might surprise us!

L'il Kim & Derek

Bruno: A pocket sized Venus with supersize sex appeal!
CA: Hot!
Len: Bionic booty!

She's going to put her L'il Kim "tramp" stamp on it!

Score: 25
Prediction: Heading for the finals...

Shawn & Mark

CA: Elegant princess
Len: Best dance so far
Bruno: Beautiful Bejeweled!

She was sporting a vote for Shawn & Mark tee!

Score: 27
Prediction: Won't be leaving anytime soon!

Gilles & Cheryl

Len: Made a hard dance look easy
Bruno: He's a throbbing red hot poker!
CA: He shook things she didn't know a man could shake!

When it gets too hot his mom can close her eyes. And she's from FRANCE!

Score: 27
Prediction: Still final 2

Melissa & Tony

Len: Fantastic!
Bruno: Beautiful to look at, easy to love:)
CA: Excellent dancer, needs to challenge herself more

She cleaned out her desk! And something about her head being an olive in a martini glass...

Score: 27
Prediction: Still in final 2


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