Monday, March 30, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 4

There's no crying in ballroom! Bruno is a tan Bella Lugosi, Samantha Harris is going through puberty, Len is known as Little Lenny Hard Butt, Geeks riding on segways shall inherit the earth, and don't forget to kiss your guns for good luck! What a show:)

Low to High Score Highlights:

The Woz & Karina

CA: Ultimate underdog. The leg rub was hot. (NOT!)
Len: Admires the spirit
Bruno: Stench! Stunk!

"I'm still standing!" Nah nah nah nah nah! Okaaaay...

Score: 12
Prediction: Should be in bottom two!

Steve-O & Lacey

CA: Be a Leader!
Len: No timing
Bruno: More hopping mad than lindy hop!

He's stressed! He's screaming! His voice is grating! Make it stop!

Score: 15
Prediction: In bottom 3

Holly & Dmitry

Bruno: Drop the Barbie!
CA: No strength!
Len: His routine was good. Dance not so much.

Holly is one nervous giggler! Uggh!

Score: 16
Prediction: In bottom 3

Lawrence & Edyta

Len: Heavy
Bruno: Menacing!
CA: He's afraid of Edyta's sensuality...

What do you got to do to get an 8 around here!? Apparently not this dance...

Score: 19
Prediction: Will survive next week!

David Alan & Kym

Len: Fun, energy, flavor!
Bruno: Full of energy!
CA: Kicked up the energy!

U Really Like ME!

Score: 22
Prediction: Will survive next week.

Chuck & Julianne

CA: Safe but cute!
Len: Regroup and focus!
Bruno: Pizza to go please! More crispy!

He's afraid to...fall on his head! Totally...

Score: 22
Prediction: Will survive another week.

Ty & Chelsea

Bruno: A young stallion!
CA: He's a dancer!
Len: Hot dog and darn my britches!

She needs to wear shorter dresses!

Score: 25
Prediction: Will survive another week or two!

Shawn & Mark

Bruno: Spectacular feast of tricks and gymnastics!
CA: Nice pants Mark!
Len: Too many tricks...

Flips and tricks are up her alley! And someone needs to wear a cup--Holy Cow!

Score: 25
Prediction: Final 4 and then some

L'il Kim & Derek

Bruno: Tale of fatal beauty
CA: Looked 4" taller
Len: Knocked him out with the choreography!

They're such laughers!

Score: 27
Prediction: Final four!

Melissa & Tony

Len: Potential to go all the way!
Bruno: Eye-popping fun
CA: A high fives festival

Toilet paper on the shoe trick--classy!

Score: 29
Prediction: Final 2

Gilles & Cheryl

CA: Fanning herself, out of breath...
Len: Best so far!
Bruno: Quintessential Latin Lover
CA: Holy Cow! Geeze Louise!

He's hot!

Score: 30
Prediction: Final 2


Thursday, March 26, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 3: Results

Wow, was anyone else surprised The Woz survives to dance another week!?

Cloris Leachman, what a goofball!

Dance Off: Holly vs. Denise!

Holly & Dmitry

Len: Party girl!
Bruno: No worries about hotness!
CA: It's a party when Holly's on the dance floor!
Jenn: GAG!

Lots of high fives and let's do it!

Score: 18
Prediction: Staying, she's HOT! Gag!

Denise & Maks

Bruno: Don't be afraid!
CA: Good under pressure
Len: You deserve to stay

So focused she messes up according to Maks.

Score: 20
Prediction: When a judge says you deserve to stay, you're going home!

ELIMINATED: Denise & Maks


Monday, March 23, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 3

The GREATEST judges in the WORLD.........!!!!! What a hot mess! Many sambas fell flat while the Foxtrot was almost foxy in the hands of some of our dancers! Did you think The Woz was going to nail it this week? Anyone? And what about that Samantha Harris! Several of our celebrities and profs just were plain snarky to her during her as usual useless back stage commentary!

Low to High Score Highlights:

The Woz & Karina

CA: Cute but novelty has worn off. Like a crazy uncle at a party!
Len: Dancing is killing you!
Bruno: On your knees and...beg for forgiveness! The worst he's ever seen!

I think he's one hot mess!

Score: 10
Prediction: Should go home next week...

She is to dancing as Smirnoff is to Vodka. Or something like that...

Steve-O & Lacey

Len: Ovation
Bruno: Fell into pieces
CA: In genuine pain

Aaaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaa! Bleep Bleep Bleep Bleep. B.L.E.E.P.

Score: 15
Prediction: Bottom two or three?

Denise & Maks

Len: Needs more of a Latin tick...
Bruno: So flat and full of holes. More waffle than a samba!
CA: That girl was frightened to death!

From bad boy to samba queen, Maks' pecks couldn't keep his Chiquita Banana top up.

Score: 16
Prediction: She's clunky but won't go home next week.

Holly & Dmitry

CA: Was rough to watch, disjointed
Len: Like a match: hot at top, wooden on the bottom
Bruno: Plenty to look at!

Her partner kinda threw her under the bus, "It's hard!" She doesn't want to get an F...for failure...

Score: 17
Prediction: Will make it through another week.

Lawrence & Edyta

Bruno: He's got rhythm!
CA: Twinkle in his eye...
Len: A little more hip rhythm

He had to give up his golf game!

Score: 20
Prediction: Will stick around awhile!

Chuck & Julianne

Bruno: Finally in the driving seat!
CA: Could possibly be a contender...
Len: Good but not great yet!

He's a potato farmer, not a dancer, that's how he rolls...

Score: 23
Prediction: Won't go home next week, improving!

Ty & Chelsea

CA: Most improved, smooth
Len: Top notch
Bruno: Out of a stiff piece of wood comes a mini Fred Astaire!

Pretty cool huh! He's got a "cool face" on!

Score: 23
Prediction: He'll improve until the next Latin dance...

David Alan & Kym

Bruno: Broadway foxtrot
CA: Like a Rockette!
Len: Best dance so far

A vop and a jizzle. For snizzle. Or something like that...

Score: 24
Prediction: Might surprise us!

L'il Kim & Derek

Bruno: A pocket sized Venus with supersize sex appeal!
CA: Hot!
Len: Bionic booty!

She's going to put her L'il Kim "tramp" stamp on it!

Score: 25
Prediction: Heading for the finals...

Shawn & Mark

CA: Elegant princess
Len: Best dance so far
Bruno: Beautiful Bejeweled!

She was sporting a vote for Shawn & Mark tee!

Score: 27
Prediction: Won't be leaving anytime soon!

Gilles & Cheryl

Len: Made a hard dance look easy
Bruno: He's a throbbing red hot poker!
CA: He shook things she didn't know a man could shake!

When it gets too hot his mom can close her eyes. And she's from FRANCE!

Score: 27
Prediction: Still final 2

Melissa & Tony

Len: Fantastic!
Bruno: Beautiful to look at, easy to love:)
CA: Excellent dancer, needs to challenge herself more

She cleaned out her desk! And something about her head being an olive in a martini glass...

Score: 27
Prediction: Still in final 2


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 2: Results

250 shows and Bruno still can't get the paddles right! Either that or red circle=6 in Tonioli...

I enjoyed Cameron Mathison's tips for contestants which included:

Don't trip down stairs
Psyching out your competitors

Sucking up to judges

Spray tans!

The first dance off was between Gogo & Woz:

Belinda & Johnathan

Len: Little more hip action
Bruno: We really feel for you...
CA: Oh no!

That's quite a handstand...

Score: 17 (1 point lower than last night!)

Woz & Karina

Bruno: You're not a good dancer but I love watching you!
CA: Better tonight.
Len: Best for fun and entertainment

Something apparently happened during the middle (?!?!?) according to CA...?!?!?

Score: 17

ELIMINATED: Belinda & Johnathan
MY REACTION: There she gogooooos!


Monday, March 16, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 2

Well, he finally brought a little jackass to the dance floor..and ended up in the ER! Steve-O couldn't compete, but the Woz (still in last place) more than made up for it. Or something like that...

If they keep having so many injuries, they're going to have to rename this show Dancing In The ER!

Of course they made us wait until nearly the last dance to see Melissa and Tony's sizzling salsa! Those marketing geniuses at ABC! And it was worth the wait. I was surprised at Denise's improvement, thought David Alan was a bit better than his scores, and was impressed with Ty's comeback! And did you all catch Denise grabbing 's Tom Bergeron's butt!?

Low to High Score Highlights:

The Woz & Karina

Len: Someone looked a bit like the Woz today?
CA: Trooper
Bruno: Like Wall-E, rusty around the edges but in need of some spare parts!

The Woz invited Bruno to dance with him...scary! Two words for The Woz: SPRAY TAN!

Score: 17
Total: 30/60
Prediction: He should go home!

Steve-O & Lacey

Len: He doesn't get it. Needs more salsar!
Bruno: Series of unfortunate events...
CA: Hopefully he feels better!

A little more salsa, a little less jackass! Who would have thought a salsa and a mic pack would send Steve-O to the hospital?!

Score: 14
Total: 31/60
Prediction: If back injury doesn't sideline him, he'll finish in about 9th or 10th place.

Ty & Chelsea

Bruno: He's hardwood in charge of the quick step!
Len: Last week a catapillar, this week a butterfly! Awe.

He's perfected the DWTS's super perky concentration face!

Score: 20
Total: 34/60
Prediction: Will end at 9 or 10 unless he improves radically!

Belinda & Jonathan

Len: Hip action lacking
Bruno: Let your hair down and shake it all about!
CA: Sit down Bruno!

For a minute I thought Pricilla Presley was baaaaaack! Aack.

Score: 18
Total: 35/60
Prediction: Finishes 10 to 13th

David Alan & Kym

Bruno: The face was good
CA: Lacking
Len: All sizzle and no sausage!

Bruno needs subtitles! Needs a little hope and change...

Score: 17
Total: 36/60
Prediction: Will place 8th or 9th

Lawrence & Edyta

CA: That's the way uh huh uh huh I like it
Bruno: Now that's a competetor!
Len: Much improved

Dammit! Bleep. Bleep. Bleep!

Score: 20
Total: 36/60
Prediction: Will finish 6th or 7th

Holly & Dmitry

Len: Your bust forward makes your butt stick out
Bruno: Try to catch up
CA: Like a dolly being drug around the floor...

Every day is a HOLLY DAY! Dmitri thought she said "holiday." Ha. Ha.

Score: 18
Total: 36/60
Prediction: Will go out 10th to 13th

Denise & Maks

CA: Fantastic!
Len: Much improved.
Bruno: Used her toes to her advantage!

She'd like to meet the guy who invented the Quick Step--because he CLEARLY didn't like his partner very much!

Score: 21
Total: 39/60
Prediction: Stays until final 8 or 9

Chuck & Julianne

Bruno: She did all the work!
Len: Sell this dance!
CA: A mishmash, not a salsa...

"OMG This is so embarrasing!" He's going to do it Derek-Style!

Score: 20
Total: 40/60
Prediction: Places 5th or 6th

L'il Kim & Derek

Bruno: Bling is coming out of every pore!
CA: Some performer!
Len: Not a lot of quality...

She's gonna show us (and the girls at da fed. pen) how elegant and refined she can be! Holla!

Score: 23
Total: 44/60
Prediction: Places 3rd

Shawn & Mark

Bruno: More naughty and flirty!
Len: Throw caution to the wind!
CA: Fantastic!

Mark does girly steps well and Shawn hasn't discovered her booty shake yet!

Score: 24
Total: 47/60
Prediction: Places 4th

Melissa & Tony

CA: Finally a real salsa!
Len: It made him gyrate on his seat!
Bruno: Now we are cooking! Juicy!

She needed to show herself she deserves to be here!

Score: 26
Total: 49/60
Prediction: Places 1st or 2nd

Gilles & Cheryl

Len: Not a one week wonder!
Bruno: Sparks!
CA: Makes the ladies swoon!

He's Super Gilles!

Score: 27
Total: 51/60
Prediction: Places 1st or 2nd


Monday, March 9, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: The Melissa Season Week 1

Was it not the Night of Melissa anyone? They held off on her dance until the last one, knowing they'd keep the audience tuning in and the ratings up! ABC geniuses at work...

I enjoyed this opener show, and of my top predicted 6, they're pretty much the top 6 at this point (except for Denise who was not as good as I thought...) score wise, time will tell how the fans vote. I was not expecting David Alan Grier to be as good. I figured Steve Wozniak would be a train wreck and that Ty would be a bit stiff - he's a manly man after all! I've never really voted much during the show. I enjoy watching it, but not so much getting into the voting and the boards online. We'll see about changing that this season and voting a bit more!

Low to High Score Highlights:

Steve Wozniak & Karina

Len: Held his attention but a total disaster!
Bruno: Like a teletubby going mad at a gay pride parade!
CA: Went for it...

He likes to take 5 minute thinking breaks. Nice black rehearsal socks! And the pink feather boa was a hoot!

Score: 13

Ty Murray & Chelsie

Bruno: Like an Army drill
Len: He did come out and try...
CA: One CUTE cowboy!

He roped the DWTS trophy! Jewel was laughing at him in the audience. And did UberPERKY Samantha Harris yell out a big "YEE HAW!" for us!?

Score: 14

Lawrence Taylor & Edyta

CA: More offense--get down and dirty!
Len: A casual approach...
Bruno: Attack it!

Lawrence doesn't like man heels! And what's up with all those wide-legged work out pants!?

Score: 16

Steve-O & Lacey

Len: No Jackass here but not quite the ticket...
Bruno: Big pile 'o slapstick!
CA: Oddly mesmerizing...

He's very Caucasian, can't keep a beat and has tiny ankles! But he wanted to put his foot in the waltz's butt!

Score: 17

Belinda Carlisle & Jonathan

Bruno: Julie Andrews morphs into Cloris Leachman
CA: Let Jon lead!
Len: Overall good job

She needs a bucket, cause she's a dizzy girl when on the gogo!

Score: 17

Denise Richards & Maksim

CA: Looked terrified...
Len: Too loose. (Tell Heather Locklear about it...)
Bruno: Something about losing it and finding it !?

She likes bad boys and Maksim is her little Maxie-Poo!

Score: 18

Holly Madison & Dmitry

Len: Not bad, but...
CA: Like a newborn deer with wobbly legs
Bruno: Easy on the eyes a plus!

She only had 1 week to prepare. I think she's gonna need more..

Score: 18

David Alan Grier & Kym

Bruno: 4 or 5 characters (is 3 or 4 characters too much)
CA: Face a distraction...
Len: His bum sticks out a bit!

Kym doesn't get his jokes and he's planning to fight dirty!

Score: 19

Chuck Wicks & Julianne

Bruno: Easy man. Easy.
Len: Bizarre posture.
CA: Most graceful man in a long time on the show!

Definitely smooth, but don't tell Julianne what to do!

Score: 20

L'il Kim & Derek a.k.a Black Barbie & Ken (Her words, not mine people!)

Len: 1st Class
Bruno: Nasty but tasty
CA: First night jitters

She dedicated her dance to...the ladies at the Federal Detention Center...

Melissa Rycroft & Tony

Len: One door closes, another one opens!
Bruno: That Bachelor guy is a LOSER!
CA: Beautiful dancer but don't take this competition lightly!

Uh huh! They totally replayed the break-up between Melissa and Jason to boos from the crowd!

Score: 23

Shawn Johnson & Mark

CA: Elegance, truly moved by her dancing
Bruno: Beware of Gymnastic Arms!
Len: Fantastic!

She's the youngest competitor ever!

Score: 23

Gilles Marini & Cheryl

CA: Fire and Bravado!
Bruno: Clothes on or off, he can strut his stuff!
Len: Absolutely fabulous!

He's feminine and he doesn't have much of a fan base. Oh boy...

Score: 24


Sunday, March 8, 2009

Dancing With The Stars: Melissa Says Dump That!

One of my semi-fav reality shows is Dancing With The Stars and it starts tomorrow! I grew up dancing ballet/jazz so I find this competition interesting and have always thought it would be fun to take ballroom dance lessons!

I've been taking a break from all "The Bachelor" buzz and fallout and checked the posts at Jokers tonight and discovered that Bachelor Jason's dumpee Melissa has been chosen as a replacement on the show! Wow, talk about extending that 15 minutes of fame, what an opportunity. Interesting!

Melissa was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader and apparently has a background in dance, so this should be interesting to see how she does - and will this be known as DWTS: The Melissa Season?

We have these pairings on the show:

Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough
Lawrence Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska
Steve-O and Lacey Schwimmer
Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke
David Alan Grier and Kym Johnson
Ty Murray and Chelsie Hightower
Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnoff
Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas
L'il Kim and Derek Hough
Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani
Belinda Carlisle and Jonathan Roberts
Holly Madison and Dmitry Chaplin
Denise Richards and Maksim Chmerkovskiy

I always like to check out the list and mentally pick who I think will make it to top 5 or 6 just upon what I know of these "celebs" and their backgrounds:

For the guys I think Chuck and Gilles would be the best of the bunch. And for the girls, I would guess Shawn, Melissa, L'il Kim, and possibly Denise have a chance.

First pre- impressions: L'il Kim has a record--and that's not just a prison record, that's a record for dressing pretty darn slutty, so I can only imagine her dancing skills ;) Denise Richards likes to steal other people's men (supposedly), so Maksim's girl Karina might just want to keep an eye out, and man the pressure Chuck must feel being partnered not only with his little lady but DWTS champion Julianne!

I'll have some fun highlights up tomorrow after the show. Gee, do you think we'll be treated to a montage of Melissa being dumped by Jason...and instead of Holly, imagine if they'd gotten Molly to be the other replacement. Hmmm...

Look for "Bachelor Survivor" to debut toward the weekend...


Thursday, March 5, 2009

PT 3: Interview With REALITY STEVE

Q & A

Now that The Bastard: Jason is now over and we've all been "Mesnicked" (would you believe it's now in the Urban Dictionary?! PS: Shouldn't "Fleissed" also be in there?!), I threw a few follow up questions Reality Steve's way. After getting such a bombshell thrown into his lap, getting fans all into a tizzy with his clues and spoilers, and now being vindicated with the airing of the finale of all Bachelor finales, I wanted to get his take on the ending and the aftershocks. In a poll at this Blog asking "Do You Believe Reality Steve's News?" there were 927 votes and these results: 72% yes, 9% no, and 17% weren't sure.

Maybe if "Mr. Big Shot" (that was a compliment people!) isn't too busy during Jillian's season fielding interviews from reporters, receiving lots of good spoiler e-mails, and petting Maddie, we'll see about getting him to do this again!

It's funny, I noted in a preview Blog entry before the show started and then in my first episode Blog, the following comments and I promise I'm not psychic: "Perhaps we should expect the unexpected!" and "Thanks to ABC for bringing us this gem once again--it's like the 13th time! Could that be a charm or a jinx!?" Boy did I totally not realize anything near what was thrown at us!


JENN: Now that it's all over, and you've achieved a vindication of sorts, how do you feel? What do you have to say to those who don't buy it all?

STEVE: Yeah, I feel vindicated, but it's not like I was watching the finale in hopes of what I said would turn out to be right. I wasn't guessing as to how I thought this season turned out. I was told by people in the know what happened. Big difference. So for me, it was always just a matter of time that something I spent six weeks teasing would end up being proven right.

I get that people don't want to buy the set up thing, and Jason was told to do this and agreed to it. I get some people don't want to believe that. I just wish they would think outside the box for a bit and realize this is TV, and "reality TV" at that, so anything is possible. Plus, is it that far fetched to believe my story, when everything else I've said since January has turned out to be true. My sources haven't been wrong about much, if anything, to this point. So why can't people take that next leap and believe this was planned?

JENN: Would you do it all over again--post your information and reveal the shocking ending and the back story? Would you have done anything differently?

STEVE: Good question. Ummmm, I definitely would've released the information early again. No doubt. I'm just trying to think of what or how I'd do it differently. Maybe make the You Tube videos shorter. Other than that, I'm pretty happy with the way things went down. Bottom line was, I wanted to ruin ABC's "shocking" ending, and I did.

JENN: Based upon what your sources revealed, in watching the Finale and the ATFR 1 and 2, did you pick up on anything interesting or did anything really stand out to you that was telling?

STEVE: The only thing I was told that wasn't really shown was that at the ATFR 2 taping Molly told everyone she wasn't pregnant. They never showed that. And the big thing now is that Jason and Melissa are both admitting their relationship was over before the ATFR 1 taped, which I think is even more proof this thing was planned. Ok, so if you guys were already broken up, why did you then have to "re-enact" it on TV. I mean, it's almost better if they stuck with the "Jason dumped her on TV" story, since then, as appalling as it was, you could've played off as somewhat spontaneous. Now they're saying they were already done before the filming even happened? Makes no sense.

JENN: Did you get the impression that it seemed like Melissa knew what was coming at the ATFR 1? From what your sources revealed, was there more of a breakdown by Melissa at Jason over being dumped than we were shown?

STEVE: I believe Melissa was a little more upset than was shown.

JENN: In those e-mails between Jason and Melissa now all over the Internet, she references that Molly was not popular in the house. We weren't shown that edit. Had you heard much about this from your sources or Megan who you interviewed?

STEVE: Megan did reference it in the interview. Didn't necessarily say Molly wasn't popular in the house, just said that she was the one girl that really didn't open up to anyone and seemed a little too cool for the process.

JENN: From your sources, did they indicate that Jason and Molly were really happy together and that aside from all this drama, they might actually work out? Are they the something real we can get out of this show?

STEVE: If you hear Chris Harrison and Mike Fleiss talk about it, it's like these two are the happiest couple on the planet. Could it work out? Sure it could. Will it? I have my doubts. And why shouldn't I? Jason seems to be the most fickle man on the planet.

JENN: Are you going to rise to Fleiss's challenge and see about contacting any of those 500 former contestants who are apparently "out of their contract" and would tell the truth?

STEVE: Well, no one is technically "out of their contract" because they sign a LIFETIME confidentiality agreement to never reveal the show secrets.

JENN: Anything else you want to add or ponder about?

STEVE: I just want to thank all my loyal readers who stuck with me through this different season. I mean, once I broke the news, my column completely changed, and for the better I think. But there will be some that disagree. I do agree the comments got way out of hand, but they did get way more posts than I usually do, and with the fact that the website is now getting some national attention, advertisers look to be coming on board, I think I'm gonna be writing a lot more. So it's a win-win all around.



A weekly parody of "Bachelor Survivor" will debut next week plus other interesting thoughts to ponder as we lead up to Jillian's Bachelorette show and perhaps a few AMAZING things!


Tuesday, March 3, 2009

There's Just Something About Molly! & The Finale Back Story Breakdown

COMING UP: An It's Finally Over Q & A With Reality Steve
later this week with reflections on what went down and the aftershocks!


Entertainment Tonight had a preview of the next People Magazine cover with Molly and Jason on it! So...what's with the WHITE Saturday Night Fever suit/preacher suit so common to this show! Bachelor Andy Baldwin sported one! Did Brad? Sean from MeAnna's season blinded us with one! Now Jason! Is it the same suit? Is the suit stalking people from this show?!? Will Jillian be freaked out when one of her 25 AMAZING bachelors jumps out of the bushes sporting one of these fashion tear downs!? A side note: good luck to Molly and Jason!


Mike Fleiss says in an interview today, just talk to the 500 people who have done this show who are not under contract anymore and ask them if it's real! Is that a challenge? Reality Steve notes in his Blog today that the contracts these people sign have a telltale lifetime confidentiality clause.

So, perhaps since Fleiss is the Big Kahuna and he owns/runs the show, he just let you all out of your contract?! He just stated on record, that you can talk! So, come, talk, e-mail me or someone like Reality Steve and share your story about being on The Bachelor/ette! Any takers?


Erica's back and she's darn tootin' flabbergasted!

Naomi wanted to punch Jason through the TV and sic Rosie the suicidal dove on his &^%! Scary...

Chris Harrison practiced his talk show interaction with the "angry" audience.

Jason feels he handled it all with integrity! Ooooooh!

Chris Harrison reads a cryptic quote from Melissa who was noticeably absent...

Molly really grilled Jason after the first ATFR--she had 100's of questions for him!

They're best friends and partners in crime! Crime?! Like Bonnie and Clyde. Awe!

Jason's tent makes an appearance and it's all lit up inside--freaky!


So. Lots of theories. Lots of buzz. What about the so-called PLAN?

Conspiracy theories. I'm never one for conspiracy theories much. They are human nature's way of livening up things that are more routine or easily answered. People are attracted to them. We're curious and love a mystery. But is this a case of "where there's smoke there's fire?" And even more pointedly, with so much coming out of the woodwork--sources, multiple e-mails, what's being overly stated, what's understated, and what's not even being said or confirmed plus the timing of everything can mean only one thing. There's one heck of a brush fire blazing around Fleissland!

What to think? Here's what people are buzzing about online - let's take a look at the highlights and possible red herrings...


The show is filmed, ends shortly before Thanksgiving '08.

Show starts airing in January '09. There is no Rose Ceremony Game at ABC.

Just a short time later, on Jan. 18, the ATFR 1 is filmed.

Several days later, Reality Steve gets a bombshell thrown into his lap. He posts about having something big to reveal. He begins to generate buzz and starts giving out clues. Everyone's worked up over what the news is: the shocking finale.

A couple weeks later, right about the time more buzz is starting to pick up, and ABC begins to promote something shocking happening finally, Reality Steve breaks his silence at his Blog and in 3 You Tube videos, telling us all that Jason picks Melissa, dumps her at ATFR 1 and gets with Molly. But the bigger shocker is that it was planned. He knows this because he has a source, but can't reveal proof or he'd reveal his source, so he's stuck.

But then there are these pesky e-mails purportedly between Jason and Melissa that people get wind of, and Reality Steve has them, but he doesn't want to release them, as he'd feel bad. But the e-mails confirm what he believes to be true.

Lots of online squabbling, angry fans, believers and non-believers and in general huge buzz for the show ensues. Lots of theories. WILD theories. We finally see the finale and ATFR 1 and everything Reality Steve said was confirmed--except of course for the back story which ABC does damage control around. The ATFR 2 airs and it's mostly a fluff piece. They're already moving onto the next show with Jillian as the new Bachelorette.

So, what are the red flags that make the back story that Reality Steve revealed seem plausible? Let's take a look:


Early January - No Rose Ceremony Game at ABC:

I figured it was the economy perhaps, having no game, therefore no need to spend $ to give out bags and trips. But now that we know the alleged back story, I think the ABC lawyers got involved. Think about it. If you picked Molly to win in the game, and then Melissa does win, you lose. Or do you? Since Jason ends up picking Molly anyhow. I could just see someone--even if they didn't have much of a case, try to sue or stir up trouble with the final game results. So with such an iffy ending, they just didn't even have a game. Of course they could have protected themselves by saying for the last round of picks, "Who does Jason pick as his final 1 in New Zealand." But trust me, the online sleuthers read stuff into everything. That's never been so blatantly spelled out before, so people would have picked up on it early on so the cat would have been threatened to be let out of the bag earlier than they originally planned. So just avoid all troubles and headaches with no game!

Final One Given Away First Night:

Never before has the final one been shown on the first night. Based upon the screencaps released the first night, everyone narrowed it down to Molly and Melissa as final two, and the final one was a brunette, Molly is blonde. So, total giveaway. Why?

Melissa and Molly's Bachelor Show Edit:

Melissa is fan favorite due to her edit. It's as if they are setting her up to be next Bachelorette if she's not chosen. The theme they repeat over and over for the viewers is, that she's always the dumpee. Setting up sympathy.

Molly's edit is more like a final 2, but not a bad edit.The e-mails circulating the web between Melissa and Jason dated right after the ATFR 1 was filmed, reveal that Molly was not well liked in the house. Her edit showed nothing of this--and normally the one not well liked is the villain and is the big drama in the house. We saw nothing of this. This to me shows that the producers hid this, because they knew eventually Molly would be the final one, so they had to make her look better! So from the beginning they were setting up Molly to have a decent edit, even though Melissa was getting the perfect edit of either final one or next Bachelorette. Fleiss stated in an interview today that Molly was being groomed as the next Bachelorette. Really? Did he fail to edit her for that then? That's quite a stretch!

Remember, the edit is what they want you to perceive and believe. Even if it's not completely accurate. Think about the edit.

New Zealand/Final Rose Ceremony:

Two things stood out. One is that Jason's not a dumb guy. If he really was conflicted and was in love with 2 women, he could have chosen to make his decision at a later time like Bachelor Charlie did or something along those lines. Plus, notice the talk of being in love with two women was mostly done in voiceovers--when were these taped? And after letting go of Molly when he gets upset and runs out onto a balcony, there just happen to be cameras waiting out there and below to catch his reaction, just perfectly timed! Hmm...

The other is Molly being rejected. It's hard to say whether she knew what The Plan was at this point. But based on past final two rejections, I find it interesting all they pretty much showed of her was repeating over and over that Jason made a mistake, he'll regret it. And we harken back to her fantasy date with the 20 questions and one of them being, what if you make a mistake? Is anyone else sensing a THEME here? It's possible those were producer picked questions and that the producers were telling her in her rejection limo ride to talk about mistakes.if she wasn't picked. Plus the looks she was giving him and the almost smiles after having been rejected...Strange...


Jason looked like he was sad, probably at having to go through all of this knowing he'd hurt Melissa. But he didn't look at all like he was into Melissa for someone who was really engaged to her. Just one more thing he had to get through. See if this was all a Plan, then in his eyes, I'm sure he didn't feel like he was cheating with Molly, since he was "fake engaged" to Melissa in the first place? Not sure...

And as for Melissa--she looked like she knew it was coming. Jason references their recent talks as him saying things were different, so I think she knew this was coming to some degree, but was still upset. She brought up Molly, stated he was lying. I think there was more to this before/after/during which we didn't see.

Further if they'd had a real relationship, don't you find it strange, that Jason didn't even give us (or her) a reason for the break up, no laundry list, just things are different/changed. No in-depth explanation given. Strange?

And the record spit swapping switcheroo with Molly after Melissa leaves the set! Molly is so quick to take him back and kiss him without having any contact? Not sure I buy that. Looking at it from another angle. If they really didn't have contact and this was all a plan anyhow, then they were still together so their acting like that in a matter of minutes, isn't a shock is it?! Either way you look at it, it's fishier than Mary and Byron at a bass fishing tournament!


Reality Steve's First Source:

This source e-mails him a couple of days after the ATFR 1 tapes in January. They reveal what happens in January at the FRC & ATFR 1 plus the back story a.k.a. The Plan.

Reality Steve's Second Source:

Someone sends Reality Steve copies of private e-mails between Jason and Melissa which were dated right after the ATFR 1 was filmed in January, which he confirms are real, but doesn't want to reveal them.

When Reality Steve hems and haws in this morning's Blog over whether to release the e-mails this week and says he'll make his decision in a day or two, low and behold, they're everywhere out there! Someone goes ahead and releases them on the web, Myspace, and to entertainment sites like Access Hollywood. Click here for the text of these e-mails!

Highlights of these e-mails: Melissa references getting so heated at the ATFR 1, that she's apologizing! What we saw wasn't terribly heated, no real yelling/anger venting, so I'm wondering if they edited some of this out--perhaps because she makes accusations the show didn't want you to hear? Or she may have gone more into Jason/Molly seeing each other and the show didn't want you to hear that. Why? Because these e-mails reference Jason and Molly seeing each other not being a "secret." So apparently Melissa must have heard about some things going on behind the scenes. And to add fuel to the fire, the e-mails note that Molly was not well liked among the girls, an edit we were never shown! And Jason basically says the producers made him do it! And they both talk about not trusting the producers--hmm.....

One thing for sure, these e-mails seem to confirm that Melissa didn't realize The Plan at that time--just a day or two after ATFR 1 was filmed. But when did she? She must have realized it at some point, as she apparently refused to do the ATFR 2, and if she had been a part of The Plan like some have theorized, she would have been there playing her part, and she wasn't. That's telling!

Melissa obviously was the intended next Bachelorette based upon the edit, but she didn't play along apparently. They gave Jillian a great edit, so she was a great fall-back Bachelorette!

Reality Steve's Third Source:

He notes in his Blog on March 3rd--and copies this for you to read, that 1 week ago, an e-mail from someone associated with someone at ABC sends a "memo" list which confirms--before the finale ever airs, what goes down, and The Plan, and who knew. It apparently was formed at around final 5. And Jason went along with it because he was told that Melissa would come out well, be popular, and be the next Bachelorette!

Who knew? Jason, Fleiss, and a guy named Martin. DING DING! Martin is mentioned in the e-mails between Melissa and Jason as copied onto several websites and this WordPress Blog! The Access Hollywood copies have this name erased. But the link between those e-mails which have been out there for some time with this mysterious guy named Martin and the mentioning of him in the recent 3rd source e-mail are further curiosities!


Why the leaks to Reality Steve if this whole thing was planned from the beginning--or at least by final 5? And the 3rd e-mail leak last week to Reality Steve confirming everything? Were they planned in some surreal sort of way?

Seems to me the e-mail sent last week from the third source makes sense why the first leak came to Reality Steve after ATFR 1 was taped. Someone who was at the FRC filming and bought into the whole Jason/Melissa romance (remember Chris Harrison said the crew was totally into it and rooting for them!), and may have felt their job at the "no-marriage Fleiss Capades" known as The Bachelor (or The Bastard in certain online circles), was vindicated, finally a true romance, finally one that will succeed for the show once and for all! And instead, they get home from filming and reality hits big time when everyone is let in on the deal--The Plan. Further sickened by the ATFR 1 turn of events and all the lies and Melissa's pain, this source broke their silence and let Reality Steve in on the truth. Maybe this is how it went down?


His story is he fell in love with 2 women. He picked one, it didn't work out. He changed his mind. If this is the case, think about how bad they must feel right now with all this drama surrounding the show? Unfortunately, the way everything was handled, leads one to think the opposite--that and the e-mails, the sources, etc. It's one for the books, that's for sure!


Oh the drama! BUT, remember, we weren't supposed to know the back story! So clear your minds for a minute! If we had just watched it without knowing the back story, we would have seen a very confused guy who was in love with 2 girls who tried it with one, it didn't work out so he had to break it off and go with the one he really wanted after all. Instead, we watched everything with a watchful knowing eye, and so it made it all that much worse.

Those who didn't know the back story or the shocker ending are ALSO upset that Jason dumped Melissa for Molly and that he did it on TV! So even if the back story had never been revealed OR even if there was no back story and this was all real, Jason is still not coming out smelling like a rose no matter the scenario. And the powers that be are totally putting it off on him, saying it was his decision, his choice. So bottom line, he's the villain in all of this. And the sad thing is, that he wanted Molly and could have had a "fairytale ending" but for The Plan being hatched. He could have come out smelling like roses. The e-mails between Jason and Melissa referenced not trusting the producers--apparently a lesson learned the hard way! Any other villains--can't be proven completely as to their role in it all...

The taint. So The Plan - Did it succeed? A ratings winner? Apparently! The publicity is doing wonders! Now everyone's trying to do damage control from Fleiss to Chris Harrison to Jason himself. And most people online who are in the know are not buying it. Question is, will they buy into future seasons or will they tune in just for the entertainment value and/or the drama to come? No matter, if Fleiss gets viewers to keep tuning in, he's still a step ahead of the game because although Jason's stuck under the bus, the producers are moving on over that hurdle to the next show and the buzz will get ratings going. That's the bottom line in that business!

Perhaps the burning question on some of our minds, is whether or not the powers that be will pull these same kind of alleged shenanigans with future shows now that viewers are more publicly starting to catch on? Or does it even matter? Because many will tune in anyhow for the drama and the soap opera of it all! Stay tuned...Bachelorette Jillian premieres May 18! Hot Dogs and all!


***Caps From Dreamer at Jokers. Thanks!***

Monday, March 2, 2009

You're Such A Bastard! & Other Thoughts To Ponder...

Well folks, was the ending all that you ever wanted it to be!? Or was it a giant douche or perhaps a turd sandwich we've just been fed by the powers that be?! (South Park reference people!)

The bigger question, would I have enjoyed watching it unspoiled as to the ending or was it better knowing...? I'm just not sure what to say about the whole affair except make note of one thing that hits me funny that people are saying on the message boards like crazy tonight: "Brad Womack is just laughing his $%# off right now! Man this makes Brad look like a saint!" You guys are too funny! It's like a healing process with this show, like each new Bachelor redeems past Bachelors. Maybe that's the true meaning of this show: redemption! But I digress...On to the highlights if I must...


Memorable Moments/Fun Facts:

Oh no! Another Jason/Ty Roll in the...sand! Hmmm, a subtle theme this season...girls and Ty leaping into Jason's arms right and left! Next thing you know it will be Chris Harrison!

Jason just knows Ty will help him figure this out! (Ty later takes to Melissa but not so much Molly. But heck, what does that little guy know anyhow!?)

Jason pinches Melissa. Ouch!

Ty is quite the little TYger Woods and he even shows Melissa how to golf!

Joke #1: Knock Knock! Who's There? Hach. Hach Who? Bless you did you sneeze?!!?!?!?

Joke #2: Why is the sheep so shy? Because it's BAA-AAAshful! I give that an "Oh boy" and a "HOLY COW!"...

The big theme of Melissa's time with Jason and his family: Her missing parents! Sheesh Not that aGAIN!


Memorable Moments/Fun Facts:

Doh! Molly hasn't been around kids much...

Ty ignores Molly and won't give her a high 5! The nerve!

Ty finally warms up to Molly when she chucks a frisbie at that little brat!

Ty finds Molly a beach ring. Awe!

Molly asks Jason's brother if he's ready to move out of the house, cause she's Seattle bound!

Jason's Mom's advice, "Got to trust your gut!"


Memorable Moments/Fun Facts:

Melissa does her Dallas Cowboys cheerleader wrap-around maneuver on Jason yet again! In a red dress!

Jason & Melissa jump in frigid water and then shower together!

Melissa's parents have been found and they're willing to talk to Jason on the phone! Awe.

What, no gift?!


Memorable Moments/Fun Facts:

Even the umbrella's revolted at this sappy fest!

One hot oil body massage coming up!

Molly has a fairytale book she's created just for Jason! It starts out something like this, "Once upon a time there was a scary place called Fleissland where Prince Jason went to meet his true love. He signed away his dignity and decided to get fake engaged to Melissa but he's really going to pick me in the end. I know it, because the script says it! And therefore it must be so! In about 6 weeks I'm gonna be the luckiest girl in the world! The End."

Jason thinks this is an AMAZING gift!

MeAnna really wants Jason back? PALEEEASE! If you were trying to get a guy to take you back, would you show up in such an unflattering and dowdy outfit?! I think not! And I rest my case!

Jason on Molly: Those EYES! Got me. Tomboy gone pretty. Excitement. Rollercoaster!

Molly on Jason: "I think you made a big mistake."

Jason: See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!


"Being in love with 2 women SUCKS!" --Jason

Jason on Melissa: Always there. Sweetest. Genuine. Honest. Beautiful.

Melissa on Jason: I'm the happiest girl in the world!

Jason on Melissa: I'm the happiest guy in the universe!


Jason, Melissa, and Ty jump into a pool! Fully clothed in formal wear! That is totally a Bachelor first, I tell ya! Oh wait! There's more?! ...



Jason cries. A lot!

Jason on Melissa: "We're just not right for each other."

Jason on Molly: "I can't stop thinking about Molly"

Chris Harrison wants us to know that Jason's a good guy! Like totally!

Melissa looks like she knew this was coming!

Melissa on Jason: "You're such a bastard!"

And she totally seconds that Jason is not Mr. Perfect!

Jason has NOT seen Molly since the filming ended in New Zealand. For reals!

Melissa leaves the set after telling Jason, "Good luck with that ^%$#@ Molly!" At least I think that's what happened...

Molly is open mouthed for most of her segment with Jason and that doesn't include the kisses!

It's like a tennis match between Molly's AMAZING eyes to Chris Harrison back to Jason, back to Chris, to her lap, to Jason, back to Chris. Make it stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Molly to Jason "This is some CRAZY %$#@!"

And it ends with a simple Chris Harrisoncrest Out!


Stay tuned for the ATFR #2 tomorrow night:
The Jason & Molly Do Damage Control Show!


***Caps From Dreamer at Jokers. Thanks!***

T-Minus & Counting: Is It Really Gonna Be A Shocker?!

Bach/ette fans!

It's nearly upon us. The finale. The drama! The tears! The Shocker!

What will go down, whose theory was right, were the spoilers spot on?! We're about to find out...

And when it's all over...and you're going through Bachelor/ette withdrawal in the weeks leading up to our next Bachelorette, you can tune in here to a little installment of "Bachelor Survivor" Blog-style! 12 contestants, 1 Bachelor, 1 final rose, 1 survivor! And you can bet it will get snarky!