Monday, February 23, 2009

The Women Tell All (Or Nothing At All...)

On March 2nd, it all comes down to that final rose. OR DOES IT...?!

No matter what you have been led to believe will happen (so many theories, so little time!), this will all be over within a matter of days and the rumors and speculation may finally be put to rest. Or will they? Stay tuned...COMING UP: PART 2 REALITY STEVE INTERVIEW-WED. FEB. 25!

Time for our favorite sit down with the rejected women and our snarky host Chris Harrisonbot! Woohoo!

Chris Harrison Reminds Us: What an AMAZING season! Romance, Drama, Love Tears. Awe.

JASON & CHRIS ARE BUDS! THEY CHILL OVER GOOD TIMES...

Memorable Moments, Fun Facts, Quotes, & Things To Ponder:

Jason and Chris get serious about what really went down. Hmmm. Do they really?

Jason never saw any of the controversy surrounding Megan. And he never heard her trucker mouth rants either!

They had to go there. They made us relive that totally awkward moment when Stephanie chestbutts Sophia on the beach. Awe.

When Jason opened the bag with the dead dove, his first thought was, HOLA CRAPPOLA!

"What you did in that hot tub almost consummated a marriage. Ha. Ha. Ha." --Chris Harrison

"Cinemax called. They said it was tooooo hot!" --Chris Harrison

In case you were worried that Chris Harrison is a "dirty bird," he threw in this quote: "It was too much for me. I was too embarrassed to watch."

Chris asks Jason about being in his tent with Molly and we get a "Whoa easy buddy!" from Jason.

Chris Harrison pushes the dirty bird limit a little bit more when he notes, "Three hours is a lot of sex!" But in case anyone was worried about what really happened, they totally put it into baseball terms: 1ST Base in a Tent. Nothing more. Nothing less. That's their story and they're sticking to it!

Horses freak Jason out.

Molly likes to wear Jason's pants. On the golf course. Awe.

After the GH date where Jason got to kiss a lot of girls, Jason tried to fake kill himself. Hmmm...

Jason had two shots at a hip hop career and he totally bombed!

Jason was NOT the source of the tub noises that were "percolating." That's his story and he's sticking to it!

CHRIS AND THE LADIES TELL ALL...OR NOT!

Memorable Moments, Fun Facts, Quotes, & Things To Ponder:

"We are normal!" --The Ladies

"I didn't know people didn't like me. This SUCKS!" --Natalie

Natalie doesn't like jewelry! 25 cent bracelets out of a machine DO NOT count as jewelry. That's what Da Bears told her!

Does anyone else think that Natalie's spray tan acts as a Fashion Force Field to keep out sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Just sayin'!

Natalie is totally lost without her Blackberry and her Ipod--it's like totally foreign to her! Like whaaaaa!

Loving bears is NOT superficial!

"Chris you NEED to calm down!" --Natalie (Huh?!)

DO NOT SPLASH NATALIE. I REPEAT. DO NOT SPLASH NATALIE. OR she'll sic some bears on your #@$!

"I can't wait until prince charming gets off his lazy butt and sweeps me off my feet!" --Jillian

Could this possible be the theme for the next Bachelorette: Slaying Dragons to find Your Prince?

Jason is 70% mustard. 20% ketchup. And 10% Ogopogo!

Might Jillian be our next Bachelorette?! Hmmm...

THINGS TO PONDER:

Can reality show rejects find love? Apparently, yes they can!

Did anyone notice, Chef Robert (D's season) is still sporting the pink polo with the popped collar--and still spritzing himself with Pam! Olive oil Pam that is!

Do you think when (if?) Jason breaks up with Melissa next week at the ATFR as rumored and tells her "it's just not working out" his pants will catch on fire?! (For those of you hanging out on that load of pumpkins, that's liar liar pants on fire!)

THE REAL DIRT. AHA! WE KNEW IT!
THE BEHIND THE SCENES DIRT IS...

Naomi has a OCD complex of needing to smell her arm pits like every 10 minutes. Classy!

Naomi reveals Jason has boobies!

The umbrellas revolted and were mad as hell and weren't going to take it anymore!

Melissa was stalked and attacked by killer bees!

And Jason is EXTREMELY happy!

---

I don't care who you are or what you believe, I know you're totally stoked to see this finale! Am I right?!

Jenn:)

***Caps From Dreamers at Jokers. Thanks!***

5 comments:

Jackie said...

where did you get the pics of the girls together? was that the wrap party after the women tell all special?

Jenn said...

Hi Jackie,

Probably the wrap party or they went out somewhere. Shannon posted them to her Myspace and they were posted to Jokers where I got them. That's: www.jokersupdates.com in the Bachelor forum, top in the links where it says Pics From Shannon's Myspace...

Jenn:)

kab said...

You are really funny. I liked your recap of the WTA --- that was the worst WTA ever - but your recap really made laugh! I enjoyed it more than the show.

Jenn said...

Thanks! I really wish they'd just show us more of the goods at the WTA rather than such heavily edited silly stuff:)

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