Monday, January 12, 2009

"One Hot Daddy" & Other Thoughts...

There was Drama! Glares! Eye Rolling! And we wouldn't have it any other way. Oh yes!

DEEP THOUGHTS BY JASON HANDY:

Jason's Thoughts on Shannon:

"I wouldn't have given her a rose if I thought she was a stalker. That goofy gal! I'm totally flattered she knows my favorite color and that I like to take a bath with a rubber duckie and she knows all my neighbors and my social security number! I'm totally fine with it! It's all good!"

Jason's Thoughts on Vision Boards:

"I just don't get it?! ..."

THE QUOTABLE BACHELOR/ETTE:

"Touching Jason's bare shoulders and chest was a GIFT! He He He!" --Shannon

"It's warm, it's reeeallly warm!" --Sharon

"Once you're kraut, you're out!" --Jillian

"I've done pageants. I like to win things!" --Lauren

"I love that blimp!" --Jason

"Amazing!" --Everyone, So take another drink if you're still with us!

"Molly's a sleeper..." --Lauren

"These 15 Women are Amazing!" --Jason (reading from producer cue card...)

"There's definitely something in the air..." --Jason

"You were just so...like...chill." --Jason to Molly

"Can you feel this!?" --Erica as she forces Jason to grope...er...feel her chest...er heartbeat...

POSSIBLY PROPHETIC QUOTES:

"One of you guys is going to be my wife." --Jason

"Third Times A Charm." --Jason

LIKE SERIOUSLY CHEESY MOMENTS:

The oh-so-slow-mo shot of Jason removing his spiffy gray t-shirt while flexing his muscles--complete with super cheesy elevator music.

The token let's play chicken in the pool game!

Jillian and Jason feeding each other and missing Jason's mouth by a long shot!

Jason's break dancing.

Molly, Kari and Sharon's synchronized swimming. Totally mesmerizing!

Shannon resurrects another Gregster moment and goes for the howl!

Jason tells Nikki she has AMAZING qualities and the camera man pans over her rack! (Totally subtle Cameraman Bob!)

FREAKISH MOMENT OF THE EVENING:

Raquel Stakes Out Jason's SUV! Jason climbs in to leave the ladies' villa and HOLY COW! There's a crazy Brazilian girl in his car. I don't know about you, but it seemed like it took Jason a minute or two to climb into the car with a wide-eyed look on his face. Even weirder was the first thing out of her mouth after she removed the slice of crazy pie, "Hello, did you have ENOUGH of me already?!" HUH!? Jason looks totally confused and whips his head around super fast towards the back window of the car like he's sending SOS signals for help from Chris Harrison, but that guy is nowhere to be found! Well gosh darn it, Chris Harrisonbot is the kitchen practicing his champagne glass knife banging skills!

This kooky event foreshadows Raquel's going home without a rose puzzlement, "Maybe I'm too aggressive?! I don't know?!" --Raquel (Ya Think!?)

CATTY MOMENTS OF THE EVENING:

Nikki v. Natalie. WALK OFF! Oh wait, that was another show...Nikki doesn't want to know what Jason's doing with the other girls but Natalie is such a tattler and a finger pointer! They bitch back and forth and finally Natalie just wants to like drop it! After two rounds she probably forgot what they were talking about anyhow! WHATEVER!

Megan v. Erica. SERIOUSLY, WALK OFF! Ok, can't we get a good "walk off" anymore!? No! These two get into a "she said" snit complete with glares and eye rolls over Molly stealing Jason from Megan. WHAA!
AMAZINGLY FUN FACTS:

Natalie brought a whole suitcase of shoes to the ladies' villa! But don't panic! If that's not enough to go around, Stephanie brought the whole ladies department of Macys with her! Woohoo!

Bummer Y'all! These ladies didn't get a date with Jason: Raquel, Megan, Lisa, Shannon, & Stephanie.

Jillian is totally obsessed with kraut and hot dogs!

Shannon is totally ready to be Jason's wife!

Jillian thought Jason would be a ketchup guy--which Jason categorizes as a "Momma's Boy!"

Stephanie misses out on alone time with Jason and starts drinking double fisted!

Jason plays hide and seek with a rose!

Lauren is seen eating Ramen Noodles. Way to blow the food budget on this one Fleiss!

Jason likes a little beat box when he's keeping it real on the dance floor!

Nikki takes kissing very seriously!

FURTHER WAYS TO NOT IMPRESS JASON:

Chucking ice cubes at him while he's having one-on-one time with other girls!

Not being aggressive enough when trying to steal him!

Making him a drink and then drinking it for him!

A ROMANTIC EVENING or..."GET OUT, THIS IS AWESOME!":

Jillian & Jason at Disney Concert Hall with Robin Thicke

--5 Things we remember about this date:

Jillian can't have a conversation without making a hot dog condiment reference! Way to milk that hot dog condiment's 15 minutes of shame!

Jillian has good reflexes--she expertly caught a piece of chocolate that fell off her strawberry!

Jillian kept tugging up her strapless dress.

Robin Thicke sure has a herky jerky stage presence!

Jason goes for his first kiss!

LET'S TAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP TO NEW HEIGHTS!

Melissa & Jason at the beach, Good Year Blimp Flight

--5 Things we remember about this date:

Jason serves Melissa an oyster so hot it makes her cry--and he laughs about it!

Jason is hot for teacher!

Melissa is FUN!

The Good Year Blimp doubles as a magic 8 ball!

There's nothing more romantic than blimps and sunsets!

LET'S PUT THE GLAM IN HOLLYWOOD GLAMOUR!

Jason + Natalie, Erica, Naomi, Nikki, Lauren, Kari, Sharon, & Molly

--5 Things we remember about this date:

A shopping spree is like the mothership calling Natalie home! Or something like that...

Sharon's got a case of the giddies!

Kari wants Jason to undress her...

Jason's...um...hilarious...um...break dancing? I think he was doing the robot--he learned it from his buddy Chris Harrison!

Molly's got a talent...and it's not golf. It's kissing! Wanna see?!

THINGS TO PONDER:

Does Jillian secretly work for Oscar Mayer?!

What kind of drink did Stephanie make Jason?

Do you think Megan just happened to be in the kitchen putting on makeup when Erica and Molly were chatting?!

Was Raquel's odd question in the SUV really just her blundering her knowledge of English phrases and not really so odd after all? Hmmmm...

Is Lisa's grandmother ok? Seriously, I hope she's ok!

ODDBALL SCREENCAP PREVIEW FOR NEXT WEEK:

Oh boy...
BACHELOR ACTIVITY #2:
"BOUTIQUEY HOTEL" POOL PARTY MARTINIS


It Could Have Been...A Raspberry Lemontini!

Ingredients:

Ice
16 ounces lemon flavored vodka
8 ounces raspberry liqueur (recommended: Chambord)
1 lemon, very thinly sliced
8 raspberries

Directions:

In a shaker combine ice, vodka and liqueur. Strain into 4 martini glasses. Top with slice of lemon and 2 raspberries. Serve.

Jenn:)

***Screencaps from Dreamer at Jokers Updates. Thanks!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

funny. very funny

Alissa said...

Haha, your recap cracked me up. My friend mentioned the "boutiquey hotel" comment. I totally missed it. And it was SHARON who was so shocked by the temperature of the pool. I didn't remember which girl said it.

Interesting point about Raquel's comment. I thought that maybe she was trying to joke around, but uh, completely missed the mark. The language thing makes sense though. I really like Raquel...but she came off super weird in the limo!

(And I just screwed up the word verification. Awesome. Such talent I have!)

Politico Chick said...

Thanks guys! I thought the boutiquey hotel comment was funny too and the scene with Jason/Raquel just too weird--probably producer driven:)