Monday, January 26, 2009

I'm Not Letting You Let Me Go & Other Thoughts...


Is anyone else sensing a What Not To Wear vibe here?! Or is it just me...

DRAMA! TEARS! SIGHS! SLAPS! KISSES! WHORES! OH MY! But enough about The Bachelor, there were some General Hospital soap opera moments too!

THE QUOTABLE BACHELOR/ETTE:

"Who would have thought my love of fast food would get me a one-on-one date!?" --Molly

"Oh My Gosh I hate you! The BUT. Really, did you have to say the BUT?!!?!?" --Molly

"It was a good but." --Jason

"Like OMG we're on the set of General Hospital!" --Everyone. So take a drink if you're still with us!

"I was definitely ready to play doctor!" --Jason

"I have a crush on Jason!" --Shannon

"MAN UP!" --Megan

"I can do girl talk!" --Jason

"I'm not trying to get him to pity me so I can get a *&^%$ rose!" --Megan

"It sucks being the guy that makes them cry." --Jason

LET'S NOT SING AND SAY WE DID!

Holy Cow! Another singing contest! Naomi was nervous, Molly wanted to go the funny route, Stephanie's an opera singer, Shannon has seen every episode of the show and therefore she remembers Jason totally rapped his song, Lauren is a professional singer and Nikki has a nervous breakdown like Fred in MeAnna's season and it went something like this (minus Fred's Chicaaaaaaaaaago accent):

I'm terrified. I'm scared. I can't do this. I'm emotional. I can't do the whole feelings thing. I cannot be silly--that is NOT in my nature! I HATE singing! I'M A CONTROL FREAK! TARANTULAS, BIG TARANTULAS, PLEASE LET THEM CRAWL UP MY ARMS, I'LL JUMP OUT OF A PLANE! OMG WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....

And just in case you missed it, Naomi thinks Nikki's just a tad uptight...Uh...YEAH!

Song Highlights:

Molly has butterflies and loves fast food--she thinks chicken McNuggets and fries are soulmates--kind of like her and Jason!

Stephanie shrieks opera style, "Just YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

YO YO YO, Sha-NAY-nay IN DA CHRIS'S HOUSE OF RAPS YO:

"Jason you're so hot!
Your body is flaming, your hips are swinging!
I look into your eyes and my heart starts banging!
I see a looooooooove connection!
Baby I wanna show you my one-on-one affection!
Peace out, B!%@#&$!"

LET'S STAY HOME TONIGHT AT MY PLACE

Jason & Molly

Memorable Moments:

They eat fast food. Molly sang about fast food. You think Jason's gonna make a fast move!?

Jason gets lost in Molly's eyes. Awe.

To enter the man cave, Molly must wear man clothes.

Jason and Molly play Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boy looking for clues with their Lowe's flashlights to solve The Mystery of Jason's Tent!

WANT TO PLAY DOCTOR?!

Jason & Jillian, Lauren, Shannon, Megan, Melissa, and Naomi

Memorable Moments:

Shannon volunteers to kiss Jason and walks right up into his face. Then she fans herself and flosses.

Naomi dusts Jason. Sexy!

Naomi and Jason kiss like 100 times causing all the ladies to vomit. Except for Megan. Cause she's a tough &^%$#@$%!

Megan sucks Jason's face off while grabbing him in a manly Lacross grip!

Shannon has a meltdown moment with her napkin and it goes something like this:

This is sooooooooo difficult!...Real feelings!...YOU CAN'T LET ME GO!...I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND YOUR LITTLE DUCK TED TOO!...I have so much to offer...You have to believe in me...Putting my heart on my shoulder...Be my best friend!...I want to meet Ty...I'm soooo real...I'M NOT LETTING YOU LET ME GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shannon then proceeds to PICK HER NOSE in front of Jason. How not cute! Bet Ty would have thought it was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

LET'S DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY
1 Stays. 1 Goes. Yo ho ho! This Verse Blows!

Jason & Stephanie and Nikki

Memorable Moments:

They learn the waltz, but Nikki needs about 3 weeks to a month to prepare for things like this!

Stephanie is a stiff dancer. So is Jason.

Nikki steps on Jason's toes like 100 times!

FUN FACTS:

Molly has soft skin.

Shannon stakes out the front porch but remembers Twilly looking like he was hiding in the bushes, so she decides to stake out the couch instead while waiting for Molly to return.

According to Shannon, kisses on the set aren't real, so it's OK if he kisses other girls.

Lauren needs to dominate Jason!

When Megan lets loose, she's a real &^%$%^ classy gal!

Melissa has practiced saying "Melissa Mesnick" in her head like 100 times!

Lauren plans to slap Jason for not following her directions. Wow. Shocker she doesn't get rosed!

Shannon plans to go home and give lots of big french kisses...to her...puppy!

THINGS TO PONDER...

Did anyone else notice Nikki rocking the sideburns tonight!?

Was the whole napkin stuck to the face/nose picking thing just about the most awkward and likely to make you gag big time moment in Bachelor history!? Like totally trumping Jesse's farting in MeAnna's bed statement!?

BACHELOR ACTIVITY #4:
CLUES THAT HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU...

You wrote like a whole song for him and he still gives a rose to that crappy singer!

It takes an acting session on a soap opera set to get him to kiss you!

He's more interested in the napkin all over your face than trying to kiss you...

He talks about wanting the best for you whether he's with you in the end OR NOT with you in the end.

You give him your best "kiss me face" and all you get is a couple of hugs and a "You're such a great person."

You're waiting for him to approach you...and he doesn't.

His facial expression says it all when you tell him you were in a relationship for 11 years that ended practically yesterday!

You never get a one-on-one date.

You try to dominate him and he's not having any of it!

You have to practically beg for a first kiss!

You beg him not to let you go...and he let's you go!

Jenn:)

***Caps From Dreamer At Jokers. Thanks!***

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