Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Bobby Boy is Movin' Up To The Big House & Other Thoughts


My my...these crazy boys! If I was a guy, I'd soooo be a guy's guy! Or something like that...Gotta love 'em. A little cowboy, a little low budget taxi ride home, and a little awkward conversation with the Ronster. And so without further ado...

Anyone Got A Case of the Twilleys!?

Vote in the poll at right: Short hair or Long hair? Ladies show the Twillster some love. Shame on that ABC photographer for those goofy bio pics of the guys! Like being back in grade school. Do you think the photog handed the guys that handy little black comb we used to get, while they were standing in line to take their picture?! One, two, three, say Cheese!

Ron vs. J-DAWWWWG

Ron: You lack something brother. There's a level of tact that's missing. I'm a guys' guy. You're not.

J-DAWG: You had me at hello...until that last comment.

Ron: It's not a judgment on you personally, man...

J-DAWG: I've got my witnesses! Ron Ron Pants on Fire just tried to BS us all! Anyone?!

Ron: WOW fellas, them's fightin' words! We all heard that! Can I get a couple of nods!?

And then they commenced a marshmallow shoot out. And Twilley threw two pennies in the ring and won a thumb war while pronouncing Ron harsh but full of wisdom. And they all gathered and broke out into song. Sing a long with us, "HOOOOME, HOOOOOME On the Set of the Bacheloreeeette. Where the J-"DAAAAWG" and the jealous brothers plaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy."

Twilley's Campfire Clap Down:

Clap your hands and repeat after the Twillster:

Going on a lion hunt...

Going on a lion hunt...

I'm not afraaaaid...

I'm not afraaaaid...

I got my gun!...

I got my gun!...

BOOOOOM!...

Pause...Boom...they quietly respond...probably didn't end that way... :\

In honor of "Lookin' Good Without His Shirt" Graham, let's have a little What's Hot, What's Not List:

What's Hot:

--Graham without his shirt, poolside a plus.
--Having a closet full of perfection.
--Richard sporting some five o'clock shadow while wearing shades.
--Big fat cheeseburgers!
--Not being able to feel your fingertips.
--Ellen Boxers.
--A gentleman. Jason asks DeAnna if he can kiss her. Awe.
--Sean's new haircut.

What's Not:

--White on Rice Routine.
--Clown Face Paint aka Paul's Sun Screen.
--Packing your bags.
--Wearing light wash jeans on a hot rooftop date.
--Telling a girl who loves shooting stars, that they're really just space junk.
--Saying you want to be that guy who farts in DeAnna's bed. OH. MY. GOD.
--A boutonniere that won't stand up straight...
--Sean's White "Preacher/Vegas Lounge Act" Suit.

Amusing moments from Episdode Three or Oh No They Didn't:

When asked about his Romantic side, Science Whiz Richard became shell-shocked with a deer in the headlights look of fright. And he's never brought a girl home to mom.

Richard talks about the 80-20 rule, which he probably saw in the movie Hitch... See, you move in 80 percent for that kiss and let her come the other 20. Shell shocked with passion, he apparently forgot the rule and instead leaned backwards about 20. (Could the 80-20 rule have other meanings? Hmm...)

Whoa Fleiss! Don't blow the budget all at once on that taxi for Richard!

Brian wants to rope a chicken and trade it in for a rose. He'll even pluck the feathers! And fry it up! AND share his alone time by talking about the other guys! Awe!

DeAnna fakes an injury to see who isn't a gentleman (Ron).

Jesse shows his serious side by talking about poop and gas. DeAnna said she has a lot in common with Jesse and I'm really hoping this isn't it...is this really what we've reduced ourselves to with this show people?!

All the awkward smiles, arched eyebrows, blinking, stunted conversation, and silent eerie pauses between Ron and DeAnna. I'm not sure what was going on between those two, but I could swear I saw a reflection in Ron's eyes of a big old slice of crazy pie...


Graham and Fred's "Sneak Attack" on DeAnna and Jeremy with the over-the-top slinking around. I think neighbors for miles around heard their thunderous twig and underbrush stomping. Good acting on DeAnna's part when she got "ambushed" from behind!

Fred finally gets 1-on-1 time with DeAnna on Ellen's show.

Fastest Guy to drop his pants: Paul. Shocker.

When that preacher showed up at the Rose Ceremony! Oh wait, that was just Sean...never mind...

When J-DAAAWG steals DeAnna from Ron, she sighs in relief, "Thank you verrrrry much!"

In a momentary bout of paranoia, Twilley thinks someone's following him at the rose ceremony. Anyone else hear a coyote howl!? Gregster, is that you?????

Highlights Of The Visit With Ellen:

Fred, while pacing back and forth, has an anxiety attack in the green room, Chicaaago-accent style. It went something like this, "WOW...This is CRAZY!...Talk show...New to me...This is NUTS!...I'm NERVOUS...I've never been in a GREEN ROOM...This &#!$ NEVER happens to ME...WOW...This is CRAZY!"

Ellen appears to point to either Ron or Sean on her handy cheat sheet of the guy's pics and says, while she and DeAnna share a HUGE girlie cackle, that that guy isn't going to last much longer!

We learn Graham has been running from the law. Ellen's so funny!

Twilley dances with Fred and appears to gyrate on his leg.

Robert and Brian show everyone how to dance without moving a single arm!

How apropos that arch rivals Jeremy and Ron do a dance off together. Hmmm. And just WTH was that old man dance Ron was doing and Jeremy's odd backwards booty shuffle?! I wasn't feeling it...

Ellen's rose ceremony complete with cheesy rose ceremony music. If they'd only given her permission to do Chris Harrison's classic and totally underused champagne glass/knife utensil banging maneuver...

The Quotable (Or Not) Bachelor/ette:

--Bags are gone, duuuude! --Jesse
--Have her home by 12. --Robert
--Yippee Kayay, Baby! --Twilley
--I think I've got got a case of the DeAnna's. --Ron
--Give it to 'em hard! --DeAnna
--DeAnna didn't reject me. She just chose other guys! --Ron

Things to Ponder:

Is it just me, or do the other guys not like Jeremy too much...

Who's the jokester who told Fred he had to line-dance in slow motion?!

Did Ron cut Sean's hair?

On the Dude Ranch Date, everyone was in cowboy hats except for Graham. Why the trucker hat?! Make sure your costume wrangler can count Fleiss!

Do you think Richard is kicking himself, that he the science teacher, didn't get the observatory date!?

What was on Twilley's T-Shirt that the editors blurred out?

Was Ellen really happy that "she" was in their pants? :)

Did Jesse's partially hidden T-Shirt say, "Get Ill" or "Get TwILLey?" Hmm...

Are any of the guys still wearing their Ellen boxers or did they have to return them to the gift shop?!

Did Jesse borrow his striped suit/tie from Sean?!

Should someone have called a doctor?! Robert lost all feeling in his fingertips for goodness sakes! And then later on had no feeling in his arms because he couldn't move them when he danced...Is this what happens when you get a case of the DeAnnas?!


Some Lovely Parting Motivational Thoughts from Ron "Stuart" Smalley:

You're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darn it you're not getting a rose...Oops. But he gave those young whipper snappers some darned good and totally sane advice:

Iron sharpens iron. (?!)

You need someone as strong as you are to make you stronger.

The only way you'll change is if Jesus comes down and smacks you in the head!

Cream rises to the top.

Where there's smoke, there's fire.

Sometimes a tree gets chopped down before it even gets to bear its fruit.

Bachelorette Activity #3:

Pop Quiz. WTH did Paul yell out during the Dude Ranch Date? :

a) Chip Ca Yee Haw!
b) Chip Chinese Ha!
c) Chip Hide Ye Haw!
d) Chip Chide Me Y'all!

(If you want to share your opinion, scroll down to the very bottom of this blog page and vote your answer in the poll!)

Up Next Week...DeAnna wanders in Brian's house of pain. Sean digs his own grave. Paul becomes a nudist. Ron goes on the motivational speaker circuit so he can help Jesus smack those who lack tact in the head...Greg is found living with a pack of wild coyotes, does DeAnna get a case of the Twilleys?...And surely, finally, our most SHOCKING rose ceremony EVER!

Jenn:)

***Caps from Dreamer at Jokers. Longer-haired Twilley from Forters.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think Ron got a raw deal with the editing, big time! Love Ron!

And Twilley is HOT with the long hair.

Good job!