Monday, June 16, 2008

And Then There's Twilley & Other Thoughts...


With a little too much male bonding going on at the Outhouse for days on end, DeAnna tells all and takes the remaining six guys to Palm Springs to bond with her! So who do you think won the arm wrestling contest above? Vote in the poll located on the top right of the page. In this episode, we've got Sean and his loaded weapon, Jesse and DeAnna in a very unromantic lemonade commercial, and Twilley playing with himself all day, let's recap some highlights...

Interesting Highlights From DeAnna's Tell All:

Annoying Things:

DeAnna's psycho bang, no matter how many times she pushed it aside, it came back to be plastered to the middle of her forehead. Each new scene with Chris Harrison started off beautifully thanks to the award winning skills of hair and make up and then it was all down hill from there. Cut! Can we get a bobby pin in here!?

Amusing Things:

When Ron cut Sean's hair, the party was gone, duuuude...

Sean has a HUGE closet! Love this guy. And a sauna/tanning bed in his home! And he uses various face creams :) Can you say Kentucky Bluegrass Metrosexual?! What a cutie!

Jeremy says studying for the bar exam is crazy. Amen brother!

Shocking Things:

DeAnna didn't know Ryan was a virgin! Somehow she missed the big, "I'm a VIRGIN" sign he had tattooed on his forehead. Do you think she knew he was voted friendliest guy in 8th grade?!

DeAnna likes to eat, it's not a secret!

That this show is Real! Big time Real! Ask anyone...

That Chris Harrison hates to bring up Brad Womack again...Are you sure about that Chris?!

Chris Harrison tells DeAnna that America thinks Jeremy is the front runner...um...check the poll at the right...I think everyone thinks Jason is the front runner...Not to mention all the sleuthers who figured out Jesse and Jason were in the final 2 by the first episode!


Live & Learn Moments From This Week's Palm Springs Escapades:

This is the first time Twilley is getting out of the outhouse and he's excited!

Sean is a Kentucky racehorse and he's ready to start making his moves!

DeAnna is afraid of heights and she'll squeeze your hand as flat as a fritter if you let her...

DeAnna is the missing piece in the jigsaw puzzle of Sean's Life.

DeAnna knows her husband is one of the final six! Okay...

Please tell me that's not CIRCUS music playing while Twilley tries to open the helicopter door to get out?!


Sean has a deep philosophical Kentucky Bluegrass-style conversation with DeAnna. Goes something like this..."You're walking around with a loaded gun...go up to the house with a loaded gun...go on a 2-on-1 with a loaded gun...a 1-on-1 with a loaded gun...and I'd much rather walk around with a loaded gun than no gun at all." Translation for you City Folk: Take a risk for love, even if you get hurt in the end. Awe.

The guys thought Twilley was going to break the helicopter door.

A Bachelorette Motion Sickness Moment With Twilley: Twilley got to helicopter to a group date with DeAnna. He got a little sick. It went something like this..."Are you ok?!...Oh God...Oh God...Tell the chopper to hurry!...Woooooooo!...In through the nose out through the mouth...Are you ok?!...My ears...it's a balance...Pleeeeeeaaaaase don't puke on my lap..."

It was a conspiracy, I tell ya! Someone wanted Twilley to throw up on DeAnna! That's Twilley's story and he's sticking to it!

Twilley spends the 4-Wheeler date by himself searching for Jimmy Hoffa's body and buried treasure. But not necessarily in that order...

Jesse manhandles a 4-Wheeler and that's HAWT to DeAnna!

Jesse rambles on and on and on about smiles and respect and roses while DeAnna stares him down and rubs a hole in his hands, waiting for him to KISS HER! Oh Snap, duuuude, no dice!

When Jeremy sings, he just has one fan...

Twilley does an impression of Jeremy as a mutant--be it a good mutant--who is plugged into the matrix and is just perfection when it comes to dating DeAnna and picking up wicked skills! Or something like that...

Jesse cracks his knuckles right as DeAnna comes in for the rose ceremony. Classy!

"And Then There's Twilley..."





Chris Harrison: "Will Twilley Ruin His Chance at Love?"

That champagne glass-banging Bob Bummer always ruins it with his "coming up" premonitions! With Twilley's "So, how do I open a door for a girl in a helicopter?" line not to mention the numerous previews of Twilley trying to open the helicopter door along with DeAnna's combination blinking/eye rolling maneuver, we knew it was all down hill from there for the Twillster.

From stalker hiding in the bushes to funny guy to bumbler, this guy sure got an extraordinary edit! Who is the real Twilley?! Stay tuned...

Twilley Talk: The Quotable (Or Not) Bachelor:

"I've got the best heart. I've definitely got the best intentions. I think I'd make the best husband of any of these guys." --Twilley

"I know I'm an idiot sometimes, but that's just who I am." --Twilley

"I'm not surprised to be surprised." --Twilley

"I'm just me. I'm just Twilley." --Twilley

Things to Ponder:

Did anyone notice that guy pruning the palm trees in the lead into this week's episode?!

Is watching a guy brush his teeth sexy?

Was Jeremy raised in a barn?! He just totally left the door wide open when DeAnna picked him up for their date!

Did anyone else notice the very unromantic lemonade commercial that DeAnna and Jesse were filming?! As they sat and drank lemonade, I couldn't help noticing the 4 awkwardly stacked lemons on the tiny poolside table. Strangest set decoration yet...


Next Week on the Bachelorette:

Things don't look too good for Graham and Jeremy's hometown dates...DeAnna breaks down at the rose ceremony and does she really second guess her decision?! Stay tuned...

Bachelorette Activity #5:

The guys got to go on a scavenger hunt instead of having a cocktail party! Find the clue to find the girl...See if you can find these items in your "mansion!" :

Rose Ceremony Scavenger Hunt List:

-Champagne glass
-Ellen's boombox with cheesy rose ceremony music
-Red Rose
-Duck caller
-Pair of XS Ellen Boxers (check Brian's thighs...)
-Knife (for banging champagne glass. Chris Harrison only.)
-Red kiddie chair
-Crab cocktail
-T-Shirt that says "Home Wrecker"
-Robert's aftershave aka Pam Cooking Spray
-Paul's "DeAnna" speedo
-Brian's House of My Paaaiiin song
-Producer cue cards with words, "Amazing!, Brad's a Cad!, & I know what you're going through!"

Jenn:)

***Caps From Dreamer at Jokers

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jenn,

The scavenger hunt was the best! If we could only all have those things around our homes:) LOL! Can't wait for your next recap!

Bri

Anonymous said...

Love the latest funny stuff. Keep it coming!

Anonymous said...

Love it! Enjoy your funnies, they're great! Love this show :)

Anonymous said...

Jeremy's a traitor