Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Let The Claws Come Out!

Oh boy--it's that time again:) Snarky commentary, some silly girls and Jason just falling for it hook line and sinker!

Based upon polls at this Blog, now closed, from The Bachelorette: DeAnna:

Most people were shocked DeAnna picked Jessie. (They're probably not shocked she dumped him...)

Most people thought Jeremy should be the next bachelor. (Granted, I didn't have Jason on the list...)

And an overwhelming majority thought DeAnna would pick Jason! (Oops...)

So if that tells us something, it's that perhaps we should expect the unexpected! Tune in on Jan. 6th for my recap of our first night with Jason and the 25 lovely ladies--all very sincere in wanting to find love on TV--they had no idea the TV cameras were rolling, they just were there for love! Sure they were...Well at least one of them, who is now engaged to Jason!

Maybe it's just me but this edition of The Bachelor just doesn't seem as exciting to me. Maybe it's getting old?! Maybe it's just the exhaustion of all the Holiday activities and I just need another martini to pep me up a bit! But, I'm pretty sure I'll be back to normal sarcastic smarty-pants form once the show unfolds on Jan. 5!

Let the Claws Come Out! Woohoo! :)


Tuesday, July 8, 2008

We Nugged And That Was RAD & Other Thoughts...

Well....I guess Jesse gets to be the guy that farts in DeAnna's bed after all! Thank goodness this season is over, because we really don't want to be privy to that. Seriously. Don't want to go there. Noooooo siree.

As Chris Harrison states, it was the romance that no one could have predicted. Can he get a couple of nugs for that?! Did anyone see this coming?! Oh wait, of course you did, you probably saw all the spoilers on the boards that have been fanning the flames for days now. Jesse Wins! WHAT?!?! Seasoned posters had "sources." Some people refused to believe it until they saw it. Those who don't sleuth online were probably totally surprised. Perhaps Fleiss tried to Fleiss everyone this year! All in all, I'm not surprised there was a twist of sorts. The edit really leaned toward Jason until the final episode. Usually you have a pretty good idea before the final episode who they pick and sleuthers have figured it out from caps. Not so this time. I wish them the best, it was Dee's choice after all, and she is the one who has to be happy. But enough of that sappy talk. Let's get snarky and lighten the mood a little...

From Fairytale to Outside the Box - Interesting Highlights From Dee's Family Visit:

Jesse and DeAnna's first kiss was RIDICULOUS!

Jesse has GOT to get a haircut. Like seriously. And that's not ridiculous!

Jesse has cut his hair a second time for the family visit! And each cut is more RAD than the last!

DeAnna's dad and a 6'5" 300 lb dude will hunt Jesse down if he and Dee don't visit OFTEN.

Jason is not nearly as RAD as Jesse.

Jesse isn't too familiar with the whole Greek food thing...

Best advice for a guy is a secret revealed: ALWAYS agree with your wife! ALWAYS!

Rock it out and be yourself!

Best Quote: "Just promise when you have my beautiful daughter with you, you keep the hair short!" -Dee's Dad.

Nugs are an unofficial welcome to the family!

Jesse and Dee's dad will be visiting the hair salon soon!

Sprinkles or no sprinkles, Jesse doesn't like to share his cupcakes!

Was this the season of NUGS or what!?

Jesse tricks Jason into giving DeAnna the first goodbye. Sly dawg!

Goofy Moments From The Last Chance Dates & Final Rose Ceremony:

Jesse arrives to hop a sea plane with DeAnna. And it's a fashion tear down. Like totally. What NOT to wear: striped shirt with bright colorful swim trunks.

Every moment between Jesse and DeAnna is just RIDICULOUS!

Was this the season of RIDICULOUS or what?!

Jason runs like a happy excited little Ty!

DeAnna isn't too sure if Jason the safe secure guy is very adventurous, so she figures, why not, let's scuba dive with sharks! SHARKS! Who DOES that!? That's so RIDICULOUS!

Best Quote: "Of course I was scaaarrred! Sharks and people aren't supposed to hang out together!" -Jason

What's with the eyes open kisses?!

Jesse has never been down the whole "picking out a ring road"...

Deciding to settle down 2 weeks after you say you're not ready, can make a kid (Jesse) so nervous he can't stand up straight and doubles over grunting a lot!

DeAnna's earrings are RIDICULOUS! Love 'em!

ATFR: Final Thoughts From Jesse & DeAnna After Being Hosed Down by Chris Harrison:

DeAnna is Jesse's soulmate!

Hopefully third time will be a charm with Jason!

Jesse climbs that mountain...er...couch for DeAnna again! Awe.

Catching up with Shayne and Matt: He's a horrible driver, he isn't trying to get a green card, and they're like an old married couple. Whatever! Awe.

Jesse is one of the best people DeAnna's ever met. He's the only one she felt like she couldn't live without. They are going to be married for the rest of their lives! They're getting married on May-9-09. Honeymoon is in Greece. Okaaaay...

And it ends with NUGS for the man, our champagne glass-banging swell host, Chris Harrison! Awe.

Bachelorette Activity #8:

The Case of the Missing Pink Flowers!

It's a hard case to crack. Lots of theories circulating out there. Anyone got a clue?! 6 Planters. No 8 planters. Wait, 10 planters! RIDICULOUS PINK and White flowers?! Hmmm. What is the deal with the disappearing pink flowers! It was so windy I kept thinking they blew over numerous times, but there was nothing laying on the ground.

So, sleuthers, what's up with the pink flowers!? Plus the choppy finale. It didn't flow smoothly on the editing like it normally does. Something seems amiss like things were reshot and some intern, who is now big time fired, placed pink flowers in the reshoot! Oops...Maybe this will go down in the annals of history like who killed JFK and are there really space aliens?! I'm just saying, it's a mystery for sure! Like TOTALLY! And that's not RIDICULOUS!

So that's it for our latest Bach/ette season! I'll miss the blog, it was fun, thanks for snarking along with me:)


***Caps from Dreamer at Jokers

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

After All, It's A Bunch Of Duuuudes & Other Thoughts...

Well it was certainly an interesting show. Three fantasy dates on Grand Bahama Island and one very tan glowing DeAnna! Short and sweet on the fantasy dates and lots of fun stuff to dish on the Men Tell All...

Dee & Jeremy Sitting in a Tree...

In case you didn't know it by now, Jeremy is PERFECT!

Jeremy gets the giggles when he's nervous!

Chris Harrison's Note to Jeremy & DeAnna: "Jeremy, Chris Harrison here. I know..I know, you probably are wondering where I am..why the generic note. Whether or not I might just pop out of the bushes with Twilley and perform my classic champagne glass banging gag...but I'm not. I can tell you really dig DeAnna but she needs to see if you're perfect in every way, so how about you check out the fantasy suite on me! But be sure to bill the room service to Fleiss, he's the big Kahuna. Love Chris."

My Prediction: No rose, the obsessive use of the word perfect thanks to the ever present handy producer cue card that says, "Jeremy's Perfect" is the kiss of death...

Dee & Jason K-I-S-S-I-N-G:

Jason KNOWS how to drive a stick!

Kayaking is fun! So are the little fishies. Awe.

Jason tosses Chris Harrison's note at the dinner table, showing off his wicked Greek-Style!

Chris Harrison's Note to Jason & DeAnna: "Jason, It's Chris. DeAnna's Greek. It's dinner time. She gets really excited when things start getting tossed about so chuck this note and go for it. PS: See you at the wedding!"

My Prediction: You had me at "Yasoo!"

Dee & Jessie Doing...Whatever They Were Doing...

Jesse calls those other guys "knuckleheads"

"I'm pretty stinking nervous!" Could have done without the stinking part, but Okaaay...

Chris Harrison's Note to Jesse & DeAnna: "Jesse, I hear you have a girlfriend, but don't worry, I text messaged her that you're having a totally rad time with Dee and she's so ridiculous! Feel free to enjoy the fantasy suite now that you're single. And don't worry, we've placed some of your hats, gloves, and tees around the suite for maximum camera exposure. I'll see you in Breckinridge in a few for my snowboard lesson. Chris Harrisoncrest Out!"

My Prediction: Duuddde, like soooo not gonna happen!

Things to Ponder:

What the hell happened to Jason?! Scruffy indeed. Did Dee abandon him on an island for awhile, he's looking a bit like Tom Hanks on Castaway! Or was he going for the Graham effect, hmmm?!

Men Tell All Fun:

Is Chris Harrison like the most underused host ever!? His hilarity and snarky wit are left too often on the cutting room floor! So in honor of our witty host, here's a few interesting moments from the Men Tell All (or nothing...) Show:

Twilley had no idea what he was doing until the Men Tell All was filmed. Now he gets it. Totally.

Twilley is like the little brother you never wanted who just gets under your skin.

Robert is sure that if he went to the book store and bought some Cliff Notes on Jeremy, they would be Cliff Notes for American Psycho. This of course, is coming from the guy who has an array of polo shirts in every color and extremely starched upturned collars! And who gets struck by lightening pretty often when things get "naughty." And who spritzes himself with Pam. I'm just sayin'...

Is the phrase "douche bag" like a hot thing of late, or is that just what all the producer cue cards in the past two shows have been reading!? You know, along with "Amazing," "Connection," and "It's Sean...not John!"

Ron is still denying he was jealous of Jeremy. And iron still sharpens iron.

The guys are having T-Shirts made so Jeremy can join their club!

Calling someone a D-Bag will get you a high five!

It was the MOST TRAUMATIC season EVER!

If Chris Harrison was a betting man, his money would have been on Graham. And he'd have been Fleissed!

When you want to either make out or kill someone, it's probably not going to work out...

DeAnna is NOT second guessing her decision about Graham anymore!

Paul likes to take bubble baths in his girlfriend's bath tubs. When they're not there. Because that's as close as he's ever going to get...

Sean is not a smotherer!

They did not have it in the budget to hire a grammar coach for DeAnna. Growed. Grew. Whatever.

You don't wanna get a case of the OCD Obsessive Compulsive DeAnnas! That's Ryan's excuse and he's sticking to it!

Wow, Gregster was able to sneak away from the wild pack of coyotes he's been living with and showed up to rip his shirt off again. The lady he pelted with his shirt was positively skeered!

Greg's shirt ripping skills made for the BEST EXIT EVER!

SO-CRATES' Wisdom Redux: (so-crates=Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure reference...)

If you don't have skills...you don't have skills...

Iron sharpens iron.

Steel can't be sharpened with...um...tin?

You don't force a flower to be open. You don't say, "Open flower because I'm asking you now."

Sometimes the tree gets cut down before it ever gets to bear its fruit.

The Karate Kid and His Mullet Are Soon Parted:

Chris Harrison: "Tell me what's endearing about Sean. The mullet. Obviously that goes without saying. Business in the front. Party in the back. Is he a haircut away from winning your heart? Do you think he fought in the Cobra Kai Dojo in Karate Kid?"


Sean: I'm not gonna lie, I kicked some major lemon A$$ in the Cobra Kai Dojo!

Jesse: Party's gone, duuuuuuuuuuuude

Things to Ponder:

Is the hot seat really hot?!

Did Chandler bring his duck caller!?

Where was Brian and his sweaty abs of steel?!

Did Fred ever go out on a date with audience member Stephanie?

If Ryan looked in a mirror, would he argue with himself too?!

Was Chris Harrison really surprised to hear DeAnna was engaged!?

What was this mystery cap all about!? We never saw this scene! Hmmm...


Who will she choose? His name starts with a J. There are 5 letters in his name. He's in love with DeAnna. And they're engaged! Boy am I stumped! Oh yeah, it's Jason. Can't wait!

Bachelorette Activity #7:

Who Should Be the Next Bachelor?! Vote in the poll, top right and show these guys some love:)


***Caps from Dreamer at Jokers

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Those Dudes Ain't Going To Know What Hit 'Em & Other Thoughts...

Well we're a little on the late side today with this latest Blog entry! Remind me never to initiate a Bachelor/ette Drinking Game every time I hear the words, "Amazing," "Perfect," "Connection," or "Bedonkadonk!" Wooooo!!!!!!!! Just kidding. I think...

So last night's show was rather riveting or was it just me who headed for the tissues?! Sentimental gal that I am. Me thinks there was a bit that ended up on the editing room floor per Graham and DeAnna's interactions...hmm...So let's get to some fun highlights. A little snowboarding fun, some easy ridin', and a mysterious fashion faux pas ending for Graham...

DeAnna's 411 on The Bachelors:

Jeremy is PERFECT
Graham is SMOKIN' HOT

Things You Didn't Know About Jesse:

He likes to snowboard! A LOT!

He teaches snowboarding to lots of girls who get crushes on him, so he's hoping to score with DeAnna!

Duuude, Jesse refers to DeAnna's booty as her bedonkadonk. (Google Trace Adkins...)

His home is built entirely of snowboards. I'm sensing a theme here...

In case you aren't sure where to put the frying pan or turkey baster after you use them, his house is full of coordinating Martha Stewart Crafts Labels! Chef Robert is sooooooooooo jealous!

In 20 years, Jesse will be throwing off his shirt and rubbing his belly like his dad.

Jesse's dad is Willie Nelson! Didn't see that one coming...

Jesse got a rose last in the previous rose ceremony because he wouldn't kiss DeAnna while they were filming that Country Time Lemonade commercial...

Jesse wants to ride a chair lift into the sunset with his beautiful DeAnna. Awe.

Jesse has a Don Johnson/Miami Vice costume he'll show off in at the rose ceremony!

Things You Didn't Know About Jeremy:

He rides motorcycles! Wearing tennis shoes...Still sexy...

He's very organized!

He decorates with festive bar exam study notes wallpaper. Great conversation starter. Psst, Jeremy, can I borrow your notes?!...I still need to take that TX Bar...;)

His closet scares DeAnna...

DeAnna says he's perfect like 100 times! Not a good sign...

His brothers are NOT on DeAnna's side!

Jeremy wants a fresh start and DeAnna is the girl he NEEDS!

Things You Didn't Know About DeAnna:

She is clueless when it comes to the Space Needle. Okay...

She plans to have 3 kids by age 30. She's 26 and counting. Whoever she picks is going to be a busy beeeeeeeee!

Things You Didn't Know About Jason:

Jason also would like 3 kids!

Jason's family likes to eat Greek Food and they're a lot like DeAnna's "big fat Greek family!" Eric is soooooooooo jealous right now...

His son Ty likes to name ducks Ted.

He's F1! Sorry duuuude aka Jesse...

Things You Didn't Know About Graham:

He likes to play basketball and kiss his girl under the bleachers!

He is different when he's not around the other guys...

He has a basketball trophy shrine in his old room!

He has a hard time dating a girl past 4 weeks. DOH! Not a good sign...

The Bachelorette: Special Bouncy Balls Edition & The Bachelor: Crazy Japanese Game Show Edition:

What was up with the zany game show previews!? I walked back into the room expecting the MOST DRAMATIC ROSE CEREMONY EVEEEERRRRRR and instead caught DeAnna and the remaining guys--and some other dudes--slipping and sliding on giant red balls! Oops, wrong show. Wait--did I change the channel?! Nope, channel is correct! Maybe these shows should all be combined...hmm...make for more dramatic rose ceremonies. Except Chris Harrison would have to forgo the champagne glass knife banging maneuver while on the bouncy balls or he might lose a limb or poke someone's eye out!

As for the Japanese game show, I was reminded of that skit on Saturday Night Live with Chris Farley where he ends up on a Japanese game show, but doesn't SPEAK JAPANESE, and everyone who answers a question wrong is losing fingers right and left! Hilarious. Check it out:


The Quotable (Or Not) Bachelor:

"I'm kickin' it up about 10 notches. And those dudes ain't going to know what hit 'em!" --Jesse

The Mystery of the Missing Suit:

Graham is shown during the final 6 Palm Springs date in a PI wearing a black suit with black shirt and blue tie. With the same background as Jesse's PI with the suit he wears to the 4-3 cut rose ceremony if I'm not mistaken. Hmmm. Graham shows up to the 4-3 cut rose ceremony wearing jeans, a dark blazer, and a red sweater vest and tie. Hmmm. He looks like he knows he's going home. He's already written a note to DeAnna as if he knew he was going home. And something happened previously on his home town date between the giddy school girl moments on the basketball court to Graham's mom revealing he's a loner who doesn't date past 4 weeks...to a most awkward park bench scene of Graham completely shutting DeAnna out. OK EDITORS, WHAT DID WE MISS?!?! HMMM...If I had to guess, it would be one of the following scenarios--vote in the poll top right as to what you think happened...

Scenario 1) Graham Wants to Leave: DeAnna would have taken Graham to the final 3 or 2 to see where their relationship would have led and give him time to open up more. Therefore sending Jesse home, but a wrench was thrown into the mix when Graham wanted to leave the show...so Graham goes at F4.

Scenario 2) DeAnna Wants Graham to Leave: DeAnna decided--based on scenes we didn't see on his hometown date--to let him go at F4. Perhaps she told him this at the Rose Ceremony beforehand so he stormed off, changed clothes, producers talked him into staying for the ceremony per contracts/$$ and he quickly wrote his feelings in a note, which would explain the change of clothes or missing suit image possibly.

Scenario 3) Other--what do you think really happened?! Use the comments section to elaborate on your theories!

Dear DeAnna:

(My additions in bold...)

"Where to start? Well...I've been acting like an A$$! I want to
apologize for my B(ehavior?)...But I just can't be myself around you and Bob the Cameraman...The Passionate (or Present?) circumstances...have got me all wound up. I can't think straight...You made a Smart remark...about my trophy room and it was all down hill from there...Don't know where to...begin, but I'm 46 so it's all good! PS: There's a (spot?) I can...see on your teeth from the peppercorn ranch salad dressing we all had for lunch, just thought I'd point it out in case it bothers Jeremy since he's such a perfectionist...See you at the Men Tell All! PS: Pick Jason, he's a good guy!"

Things to Ponder:

What were DeAnna and Graham eating out of that big bowl in the gym? That's all I got! Oh wait, where the heck was Chris Harrison in the end of the ceremony!? No champagne glass banging Bob Bummer moves, no this is the final rose cheese! It's just not the same show without our favorite host rounding out the evening!

Next Week on The Bachelorette & The Men Tell All:

DeAnna morphs into a pirate! Or an island jailbird! Somethin'!

Jason is dying to get into that fantasy suite!

And check out these highlights from the description of the Men Tell All episode: Explosions! Confrontations! Dishing Dirt! Hot Seats! Tempers Flare! Breaking Silence! Predictions! (They'll all say Jesse!)

Will Graham reveal what he wrote in the note, you know the part that the camera crew didn't reveal shown above...And what is the SHOCKING SECRET DeAnna reveals!? Vote in the poll above right and let me know what you think her secret is!

Bachelorette Activity #6:

Where in the World Is Chris Harrison?!

See if you can spot our favorite host (and the Twillster) in the following caps:


***Caps by Dreamer at Jokers

Monday, June 16, 2008

And Then There's Twilley & Other Thoughts...

With a little too much male bonding going on at the Outhouse for days on end, DeAnna tells all and takes the remaining six guys to Palm Springs to bond with her! So who do you think won the arm wrestling contest above? Vote in the poll located on the top right of the page. In this episode, we've got Sean and his loaded weapon, Jesse and DeAnna in a very unromantic lemonade commercial, and Twilley playing with himself all day, let's recap some highlights...

Interesting Highlights From DeAnna's Tell All:

Annoying Things:

DeAnna's psycho bang, no matter how many times she pushed it aside, it came back to be plastered to the middle of her forehead. Each new scene with Chris Harrison started off beautifully thanks to the award winning skills of hair and make up and then it was all down hill from there. Cut! Can we get a bobby pin in here!?

Amusing Things:

When Ron cut Sean's hair, the party was gone, duuuude...

Sean has a HUGE closet! Love this guy. And a sauna/tanning bed in his home! And he uses various face creams :) Can you say Kentucky Bluegrass Metrosexual?! What a cutie!

Jeremy says studying for the bar exam is crazy. Amen brother!

Shocking Things:

DeAnna didn't know Ryan was a virgin! Somehow she missed the big, "I'm a VIRGIN" sign he had tattooed on his forehead. Do you think she knew he was voted friendliest guy in 8th grade?!

DeAnna likes to eat, it's not a secret!

That this show is Real! Big time Real! Ask anyone...

That Chris Harrison hates to bring up Brad Womack again...Are you sure about that Chris?!

Chris Harrison tells DeAnna that America thinks Jeremy is the front runner...um...check the poll at the right...I think everyone thinks Jason is the front runner...Not to mention all the sleuthers who figured out Jesse and Jason were in the final 2 by the first episode!

Live & Learn Moments From This Week's Palm Springs Escapades:

This is the first time Twilley is getting out of the outhouse and he's excited!

Sean is a Kentucky racehorse and he's ready to start making his moves!

DeAnna is afraid of heights and she'll squeeze your hand as flat as a fritter if you let her...

DeAnna is the missing piece in the jigsaw puzzle of Sean's Life.

DeAnna knows her husband is one of the final six! Okay...

Please tell me that's not CIRCUS music playing while Twilley tries to open the helicopter door to get out?!

Sean has a deep philosophical Kentucky Bluegrass-style conversation with DeAnna. Goes something like this..."You're walking around with a loaded gun...go up to the house with a loaded gun...go on a 2-on-1 with a loaded gun...a 1-on-1 with a loaded gun...and I'd much rather walk around with a loaded gun than no gun at all." Translation for you City Folk: Take a risk for love, even if you get hurt in the end. Awe.

The guys thought Twilley was going to break the helicopter door.

A Bachelorette Motion Sickness Moment With Twilley: Twilley got to helicopter to a group date with DeAnna. He got a little sick. It went something like this..."Are you ok?!...Oh God...Oh God...Tell the chopper to hurry!...Woooooooo!...In through the nose out through the mouth...Are you ok?!...My ears...it's a balance...Pleeeeeeaaaaase don't puke on my lap..."

It was a conspiracy, I tell ya! Someone wanted Twilley to throw up on DeAnna! That's Twilley's story and he's sticking to it!

Twilley spends the 4-Wheeler date by himself searching for Jimmy Hoffa's body and buried treasure. But not necessarily in that order...

Jesse manhandles a 4-Wheeler and that's HAWT to DeAnna!

Jesse rambles on and on and on about smiles and respect and roses while DeAnna stares him down and rubs a hole in his hands, waiting for him to KISS HER! Oh Snap, duuuude, no dice!

When Jeremy sings, he just has one fan...

Twilley does an impression of Jeremy as a mutant--be it a good mutant--who is plugged into the matrix and is just perfection when it comes to dating DeAnna and picking up wicked skills! Or something like that...

Jesse cracks his knuckles right as DeAnna comes in for the rose ceremony. Classy!

"And Then There's Twilley..."

Chris Harrison: "Will Twilley Ruin His Chance at Love?"

That champagne glass-banging Bob Bummer always ruins it with his "coming up" premonitions! With Twilley's "So, how do I open a door for a girl in a helicopter?" line not to mention the numerous previews of Twilley trying to open the helicopter door along with DeAnna's combination blinking/eye rolling maneuver, we knew it was all down hill from there for the Twillster.

From stalker hiding in the bushes to funny guy to bumbler, this guy sure got an extraordinary edit! Who is the real Twilley?! Stay tuned...

Twilley Talk: The Quotable (Or Not) Bachelor:

"I've got the best heart. I've definitely got the best intentions. I think I'd make the best husband of any of these guys." --Twilley

"I know I'm an idiot sometimes, but that's just who I am." --Twilley

"I'm not surprised to be surprised." --Twilley

"I'm just me. I'm just Twilley." --Twilley

Things to Ponder:

Did anyone notice that guy pruning the palm trees in the lead into this week's episode?!

Is watching a guy brush his teeth sexy?

Was Jeremy raised in a barn?! He just totally left the door wide open when DeAnna picked him up for their date!

Did anyone else notice the very unromantic lemonade commercial that DeAnna and Jesse were filming?! As they sat and drank lemonade, I couldn't help noticing the 4 awkwardly stacked lemons on the tiny poolside table. Strangest set decoration yet...

Next Week on the Bachelorette:

Things don't look too good for Graham and Jeremy's hometown dates...DeAnna breaks down at the rose ceremony and does she really second guess her decision?! Stay tuned...

Bachelorette Activity #5:

The guys got to go on a scavenger hunt instead of having a cocktail party! Find the clue to find the girl...See if you can find these items in your "mansion!" :

Rose Ceremony Scavenger Hunt List:

-Champagne glass
-Ellen's boombox with cheesy rose ceremony music
-Red Rose
-Duck caller
-Pair of XS Ellen Boxers (check Brian's thighs...)
-Knife (for banging champagne glass. Chris Harrison only.)
-Red kiddie chair
-Crab cocktail
-T-Shirt that says "Home Wrecker"
-Robert's aftershave aka Pam Cooking Spray
-Paul's "DeAnna" speedo
-Brian's House of My Paaaiiin song
-Producer cue cards with words, "Amazing!, Brad's a Cad!, & I know what you're going through!"


***Caps From Dreamer at Jokers

Friday, June 13, 2008

Screencap Memory Lane...

Next week, DeAnna Tells All and revisits the final 6 guys and her journey. Awe. So who could resist a little walk down screencap lane from our recent shows!

Helooooooooooooooo Hollywooooooooooooood!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twilley holds the Magic Castle Gang hostage with his rousing Greek Myth Play! And proceeds to fake shoot an arrow into never never land...

Ryan's a snuggler, can't you tell?!

DeAnna is forced to grope Brian IN's sweaty "abs of steel!"

Twilley can't wait to use his "shrinkage" line...

You probably won't recognize this guy in the real world without all the bushes around him! HA!

Twilley: "Are you guys going to make it seem like I'm hiding in the bushes?!"

Bach. Producer: "Of course not, we'd never do that!..."



Twilley tells us he's not just this crazy guy and then proceeds to wow us with this facial expression...

Chris Harrison, ever the suave host, bangs his champagne glass so hard with his knife, the champagne starts sloshing up out of the glass...Do you think he's ever broken any glasses during the filming of this show?

Ryan: Like Oh My God, We're wearing the same outfit! One of us is going to have to change!!!

Donato: I'm drunker and better dressed than all you ^%$#@$!

Ryan: But I was voted the friendliest guy in 8th grade!

Twilley tries to stick a rose in Jeremy's mouth before they begin a manly tango dance...

Like, I could Sooo be snowboarding right now, duuuude!

Brian's massive thighs have swallowed Ellen's boxers!

Here in Hazzard County with my Muscle Car Racing Buddies, Bo & Luke Duke, this is how we like to roll...Sing along with me...
"Good 'Ol' Boys" by Sean "Waylon" Jennings...

"Just the good ol' boys
Never meanin' no harm
Beats all you ever saw, been in
trouble with the law since the day they was boooorrrnn
Just a good ol' boy
wouldn't change if I could...
Fightin' the system, annihilating lemons like a true modern day robinhood

Or something like that!


***Couple of caps from Dreamer at Jokers***

Monday, June 9, 2008

I'm Droppin' The Hammer BABY! & Other Thoughts...

(And just which three of you crazy boys voted for Twilley with the short hair?! Ron, Brian, Fred!? Hmm...Remember folks, this Blog is all in good fun, good times!!! Check out Brian TX's website: www.briantexas.com And Graham's: www.grahambunn.com--good charity there!)

OK kids, let's recap. DeAnna was tossed aside by that evil Brad Womack. Now it's her turn to decide! She met 25 AMAZING men, ditched 10 of the loonier/blander ones. Whittled down 15 to 12 with help from relationship GURU Tommy Lasorda. Went from 12 to 9 and sent the Sheriff packing! And now we're at 9 going on 6 in Brian's House of Paaaaiiin. It was quite the episode. A little recipe for love, a double whammy, and Twilley being Twilley...

Highlights of The Outhouse Boyz To Men Performing their #1 Tunes:

Vote in the poll at right--who had the best song?

Does it help to have a spiffy accessory? Cowboy hats for Twilley and Robert were a miss. A T-Shirt with a striped tie motif? Like totally a winner duuuude!

What wins a date for you in the end? That personal touch. Literally.

Fred has another anxiety attack. Went something like this, "Look at Graham over there writing a book..Ooh Maay Gaawd...Jason pouring his heaaaarrtt out...only gaaaaat 20 minutes to write this song...FOUR verses!!!...do we need a REFRAIN?!...OOOH...MAAY...GAAAAWWWD..."

Brian's Outhouse Of My Paaaaiiiinnn:

DeAnna I've gotten lost in your eyes
Baby your heart makes me feel like I could fly

DeAnna your spirit melts away my fears

I beg you baby don't TAKE AWAY MY YEARS

It's midnight in the house of my pain

You've stolen my heart, now I've got something to gain

I walk around just whispering your name

As I wander the halls in the house of my paaaaeeeeaaaaiiiinnn

(***LIKE TOTALLY, A SPOILER ALERT*** By the time you're reading this, in the most shocking Bachelorette moment EVER, Brian has been signed by a major record company and he's cutting an album. And, this is the new Bachelorette theme song! Twilley and Fred will be his back up singers, that is if Fred can get over his anxiety. Twilley just knows the world is about to be rocked by this guy!)

As for the other dudes, here's bits and pieces of their creative artistry: "The Bachelorette season is heeeerrreee agaaaaiinnn...step out the side door...cocktail parties...wine...outhouse to the big house...limo rides...hot bikini...Ellen gave me nugs...Oh DeAnnaaaaaaaaaaaaa...choose wiseleeeeeyyyy..."

What Not To Wear with Jesse & Graham:

You know, that fashion show on TLC. Let's tune in...

Graham: "Go with what you know, maann!"

Jesse: "Okay, so I've got Matthew Lesko's jacket that I wowed Dee with at the first night when home slice kicked a lemon off my head. Some old jeans. And my crazy @$$ shoes...And I'm gonna tell that chick she looks RIDICULOUS. And she's OUTTA CONTROL!"

Graham: "What do I know?"

Zany Moments With The Outhouse Boyz To Men:

Duuude, like Jesse wants to punch Chris Harrison in the teeth. They're like totally cousins by the way...

Graham prefers a steady diet of glass to keep himself regular...

Fred, stumped by a recipe for love, would just like a recipe for beef stew, for gaaaawd sakes!

Who would have thought Brian "Adams" was such a song writer! His clever verses even gave Twilley a case of hyperactive neck muscle spasms!

Turns out Fred's song writing anxiety attack may have been caused by the LIVE HAND GRENADE seen in the shot above with Graham. (Thanks to Jokers fans for the heads up!) Which do you think blew up first--the hand grenade or DeAnna?!

DeAnna and Sean have a Bluegrass connection. They're both rednecks or rough necks or something crazy like that...

Brian got over his fear of working a clutch. Brian was so big he had to drive without a steering wheel. Then he had to wear the car home...with that Aflac duck inside. Bet that was that annoying!

Jeremy hit 5700 on the RPMs! That's gotta count for something!

Brian's a "Home Wrecker."

Robert likes to drink alone. Straight from the bottle. Brown bag optional. Turned up collar required.

That Chris Harrison! Always a Bob Bummer and a Poet Laureate, "One rose. One Stays. One Goes. Yo Ho Ho. This Verse Blows."

Robert feels that the passionate side of a relationship can be felt by that first kiss. On the cheek. Or not...

Robert didn't unbutton his shirt halfway to look sexy, he just busted off the buttons while trashing the Outhouse Boyz' kiddie party. That's his story and he's sticking to it.

Spouting wisdom (Jeremy) about DeAnna will get you nugs from Jesse!

Sean's You Might Be A Redneck If...

You race muscle cars with your buddies Bo and Luke Duke!

You sport a mullet.

That dude in the white suit, Boss Hogg, is always on your a$$.

You like to drop your hammers.

Your mechanic's name is Cooter.

You call a girl you're trying to impress a REDNECK, ROUGH NECK or any other kind of neck!

Some Things You Didn't Know About Chef Robert:

He's really strong! He can sling a kiddie chair a good 50 feet. 30 on a windy day.

He spritzes himself with Pam for that "after glow" look. Organic Olive Oil Pam cooking spray is the best.

He's got a recipe for love. It's smooth. Rich. Succulent. Like a juicy filet in need of a little tenderizing. Meow!!!

When he gets passionate with a lady, lightening strikes! Does it ever strike twice?!

Twills Being Twills:

Twilley has some nicknames for the guys. They involve a lot of baggage. D-Bag, Dirt-Bag. Doh!

Twilley is terrified of going over the speed limit.

Racing stock cars gives Twilley motion sickness. Doing the Twilley Dance doesn't.

Twilley busts a move on Brian's song while sporting a T-Shirt that says, "The Devil's Music."

Lots of scowling for the camera. Our brooding mysterious Twillster...

The Quotable (Or Not) Bachelor/ette:

"Shows what I know...I don't know!" --Twilley

"Bury me now. Dig my grave. Because I'm a happy man!" --Sean

"It could get naughty. I'm not going to lie." --Bobbie

"I had to give Robert the Dodge." --DeAnna

"Shot himself in the foot duuuude." --Jesse

"We need to be in a fight...figure out our personalities...Be real...Bring down the house!" --Twilley

More Things To Ponder:

Why didn't DeAnna give Twilley a high 5 after the stock car racing?

What made DeAnna change her shirt at the Outhouse BBQ?

Who told Robert to go hide inside the bunkhouse for a rousing game of hide-and-seek?!

Did Jeremy purposely misspell Bobby?

Did anyone get in the outhouse hot tub?

Who followed DeAnna when she stormed off? And then what happened?!

After the stock car driving, Brian is seen drinking a yellow substance out of a glass with a plastic fork inside it and he appears to be chewing something afterwards. Um..Ok..WTH was in that glass?!

How much did Robert's romantic date to Vegas cost that it took him 6 1/2 months to pay it off?! Or was this back in the days when Robert only got a weekly $5.00 allowance from Mom and Dad?

Did Graham's eyes roll back into his head when DeAnna gave Twilley a rose?

Next Week on The Bachelorette...

Is this one of those "Jen Schefft SOS Cameraman" Moments?! :

Twilley breaks the handle to the helicopter door trapping DeAnna inside to finally hear the ending to Twilley's Greek Myth/Play, Jeremy gets some cozy 1-0n-1 time with DeAnna, and Sean gets busy with his Bluegrass Baby! Later this week, we'll take a visual trip down goofy screencap lane...

Bachelorette Activity #4.
Fred's Da Bear Hug Beef Stew*:

  • 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
  • 2 pounds stewing beef, cut into 1-inch cubes
  • 1/4 cup vegetable shortening
  • 1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • 1 large onion, sliced
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
  • 12 small carrots, peeled and trimmed
  • 12 small pearl onions, peeled
  • 8 to 10 small new potatoes, peeled
  1. On a piece of wax paper, mix together flour, salt, and pepper. Roll beef cubes in the mixture to coat. Shake off excess. In a medium Dutch oven, melt shortening over high heat. When very hot, working in batches so as not to crowd the pan, add beef and cook until brown. As each batch is finished set aside.
  2. Return beef to the Dutch oven, and add 4 cups boiling water. Stand back, as it will splatter. Stir, and add lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, sugar, onion, bay leaves, and allspice. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer until meat is tender, 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Add carrots, onions, and potatoes, and cook until vegetables are tender when pierced with the tip of a knife, 30 to 45 minutes more.
*A Martha Stewart recipe

All silliness aside, wow is Fred just the most adorable guy--he'll definitely make some girl happy some day. You just wanna give him a bear hug and pinch his cheeks! Awe.

***Most Images from Dreamer at Jokers.***